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Who are the "characters" round your way?


Happy Face
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I know it's terribly sad that some people end up like this, but round my way I remember...

 

Black Bag Man

Never ventured out without a 2 by 3 foot bit of card wrapped in bin liner, he uses it to shield his face from the public. Randomly told people who's attention he'd inadvertantly demanded to "Fuck Off" before darting off toward seclusion.

 

Cowboy

Used to turn up for a private BYOBBBQ without the BBQ at Chichester metro every day. He perfected the old west look with a jauntily angled stetson on his head and whatever tipple he'd purloined in a brown paper bag. Looked and sounded like Walter Huston in The Treasure Of The Sierra Madre.

 

The Traffic Warden

Puts in a 16 hour shift at the Mill Dam roundabout 7 days a week. In a duffle coat that has 90% disintegrated he directs cars as if his life depended on it. Never tires of people ignoring his every signal.

 

Paddy Casey

The saddest of all the cases for me, he used to regularly try his luck getting a warm in the pub I worked at. He could be enticed out with the offer of a tab or some dregs in a bottle. Special mention has to go to his line of designer headwear, he utilised the feathers of pigeons and seagulls the length of King Street to fashion a headdress Chief Sitting Bull would be proud of. He died recently ;)

Edited by Happy Face
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Guest Patrokles

There are far, far too many of them in Gloucester. I'm thinking of doing a Gloucester ghost walk type thing, only instead of ghosts, I'd try and hunt down 'Mister Eighteen Years,' 'Tim Abrahams,' 'Clive Shipton,' and 'That guy who records spirit voices and keeps his money in the finger of his gloves'. And many more.

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Theres a few mad ones in york, few i durham too...

 

 

We saw a few in leeds who were mad as a box of frogs...

 

 

One guy come running up to us with a guitar screaming ''i have a reciept, i have a reciept'' at the top of his lungs,

 

he slams the reciept in the bin, dropping all his money in the process and runs off singing & playing guitar at the top of his lungs....

 

 

''i have a reccccccieiieept but i have to gooooo'' playing in the face of anyone he runs past ;)

 

fucking loon :icon_lol:

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Power Tool

Black bloke called Johnny Decker. Says hello to everyone he sees, pretends he know them, then asks "ha yu gorra tab ah can lend?". Yeah sure, when the fuck do I get it back?

 

Wicked Witch of the North East

Weird looking old woman who always wears red shoes and a ribbon in her hair. Gets right up close to people then whispers "have you got ten pence?". Yes thanks, now fuck off!

Edited by Fat Boy
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Guest Patrokles

Power Tool

Black bloke called Johnny Decker. Says hello to everyone he sees, pretends he know them, then asks "ha yu gorra tab?". Scruffy bamp...

 

Sounds like any number of people from a typical evening in the pub!

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Guest Patrokles

Not heard much of him recently, but "Gary" used to walk around the whole of the city drunk, using a range of different areas for drinking and sleeping, and often followed women home.

 

Changed his name to 'Scott,' does alright for himself nowadays. Accounts or something.

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[

Wicked Witch of the North East

Weird looking old woman who always wears red shoes and a ribbon in her hair. Gets right up close to people then whispers "have you got ten pence?". Yes thanks, now fuck off!

 

I bet she lives on her own with loads of cats ;)

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MC Knobehead anyone remember this lad, struts up and down Northumberland St rapping along to whatever black fella (calm down Gemmil) he's listening to on his walkman. Oblivious to the world around, how much of a tit he looks and that he's whiter than a KKK Rally.

 

One for the lads in Leeds

 

Scarey Mary 50 odd yr old who merrily sits in the Hyde Park pub talking to herself and mumbling, but if the place is just that right level of busy where it's filled with chatter, but not so loud you have to shout, you can see a glint in her eye as she engages in a full blown argument with herself. I mean Finger Wagging, Eye rolling, gasps of Shock, the whole kit and kaboodle. Great fun to observe, but terrifying to sit near.

 

Bernard Dunno his real name, but he's a middle aged man who come into the Hyde Park Pub on the weekend on his todd. Wanders about a bit, looking at all the 18yr old freshers, holding two drinks at all times as if trying to give the impression he's with his mate who's just popped off to the loo. He even came in Fancy dress on Haloween, dressed as the least convincing vampire... Dracula wouldn't be able to bring himself to bite this pathetic old bastard.

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[

Wicked Witch of the North East

Weird looking old woman who always wears red shoes and a ribbon in her hair. Gets right up close to people then whispers "have you got ten pence?". Yes thanks, now fuck off!

 

I bet she lives on her own with loads of cats ;)

 

:icon_lol:

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Used to be a bloke hang round the Beacon Centre in Shields who use to shout out the words to Bon Jovi songs at the top of his voice whilst randomly walking round. When I say shout out, I mean shout out. He made no attempt to sing them or give them the rythym of the original song. Just...shout...them.

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There's a woman who lives a few houses down from me, and one day outside her house there was a bloke wandering around with only his boxers on, chatting on the phone and holding a knife.

 

A few mins later, the police arrived and took him away.

 

Apparently he'd flipped and it was his mother who called the police and was hiding inside. ;)

 

He's of a sound mind again now, I see him on occasion when I'm walking home. :icon_lol:

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Guest Patrokles

There's a woman who lives a few houses down from me, and one day outside her house there was a bloke wandering around with only his boxers on, chatting on the phone and holding a knife.

 

A few mins later, the police arrived and took him away.

 

Apparently he'd flipped and it was his mother who called the police and was hiding inside. ;)

 

He's of a sound mind again now, I see him on occasion when I'm walking home. :icon_lol:

 

'and I say, 'Hi dad!''

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There's a woman who lives a few houses down from me, and one day outside her house there was a bloke wandering around with only his boxers on, chatting on the phone and holding a knife.

 

A few mins later, the police arrived and took him away.

 

Apparently he'd flipped and it was his mother who called the police and was hiding inside. ;)

 

He's of a sound mind again now, I see him on occasion when I'm walking home. :icon_lol:

 

'and I say, 'Hi dad!''

 

:icon_lol:

 

n00b got schooled or summEEET

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Power Tool

Black bloke called Johnny Decker. Says hello to everyone he sees, pretends he know them, then asks "ha yu gorra tab ah can lend?".

 

Might be the same bloke I know.

 

He's been 'touched' and walks round Whitley Bay / N.Shields. He once saw me and shouted across the road, "How did the court case go?" ;):icon_lol:

 

Still don't know how he knew about that :icon_lol:

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Power Tool

Black bloke called Johnny Decker. Says hello to everyone he sees, pretends he know them, then asks "ha yu gorra tab ah can lend?".

 

Might be the same bloke I know.

 

He's been 'touched' and walks round Whitley Bay / N.Shields. He once saw me and shouted across the road, "How did the court case go?" :lol:;)

 

Still don't know how he knew about that ;)

That'll be him. They are his usual haunts...

 

How did the court case go, btw?

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Power Tool

Black bloke called Johnny Decker. Says hello to everyone he sees, pretends he know them, then asks "ha yu gorra tab ah can lend?".

 

Might be the same bloke I know.

 

He's been 'touched' and walks round Whitley Bay / N.Shields. He once saw me and shouted across the road, "How did the court case go?" :lol:;)

 

Still don't know how he knew about that :icon_lol:

That'll be him. They are his usual haunts...

 

How did the court case go, btw?

 

Got off on a technicality ;)

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Guest Patrokles
Black bloke called Johnny Decker. Says hello to everyone he sees, pretends he know them, then asks "ha yu gorra tab ah can lend?".

 

Aye, he's a well known bloke. He's got a brother aswell I think, who is also well known.

 

Black'n'?

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Disco Dennis

 

Sells Evening Gazettes in the High Street. Old NHS glasses and a perma-dirty face. Dresses up like a character from Saturday Night Fever at weekends and throws himself about the dancefloor in local clubs early on when no one else is dancing (he must be about 50 like). Looks a bit like Les from Vic Reeves Big Night Out.

 

In the summer I saw him having a 'bath' in the sea with a bottle of fairy liquid :lol:

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Power Tool

Black bloke called Johnny Decker. Says hello to everyone he sees, pretends he know them, then asks "ha yu gorra tab ah can lend?". Yeah sure, when the fuck do I get it back?

 

Wicked Witch of the North East

Weird looking old woman who always wears red shoes and a ribbon in her hair. Gets right up close to people then whispers "have you got ten pence?". Yes thanks, now fuck off!

 

He's a fucking annoying cunt like.

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