Gemmill 44113 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Just flown back from Holland tonight and had the misfortune of coming across two of the poshest, most badly behaved arsehole kids you could ever wish to encounter. Their mother was a dizzy posh bitch, and the kids were called Hugo and Piers. Yes, I'm not lying - Hugo and Piers. What the fuck two kids called Hugo and Piers were doing flying into Newcastle I have no idea, but fucking hell they were annoying. They started at boarding. This Chinese woman with a baby got called to board first cos she was carrying the baby, at which point Hugo and Piers start screeching "Mummy, mummy, why can't WE get on the plane first! We're children mummy. SHE'S getting on because she has children mummy! Mummy go and see the woman mummy. GO AND SEE HER MUMMY." I'm stood in disbelief looking at this woman take all this shit off these two little toerags and basically negotiating with them by pointing out that the queue is quite short so that they'll let her off with not going and asking the woman if her two little darlings can get on first. Anyway then we get on the bus thing to go to the plane and it's PACKED. That doesn't stop Hugo and Piers swinging from the fucking poles on the bus that people are trying to hold onto with mummy begging them "Please Piers! Stop that! Pleeeeeease! Come on Hugo, mummy's asked you nicely. You're bumping into people. Please darling!" with me fighting the temptation to just turn round and go "HOY! FUCKFACE! PACK IT IN!" We get off the bus and I'm at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the plane door, at which point Hugo decides he wants to be ahead of me in the queue and literally starts shoving me to try and get past. I'm beyond pissed off with dearest Hugo at this point and again I can hear his mam behind pleading with the little twat to wait his turn to get on the plane. Fucking infuriating. I felt like turning round and going "Oi! Fucking HUGO you puffy-named PRICK. If you don't pack it in, I'm gonna throw you backwards down these fucking stairs. And don't even get me started on you Piers you floppy haired little nancy boy - somehow, against all the odds, you've actually managed to end up with one of only a handful of names in existence that makes you look an even bigger ponce than your twat of a brother! :icon_lol: " Anyway, what I actually said was nothing. Perhaps if I had I wouldn't have had to listen to the two little twats hitting each other and singing at the top of their posh whiny little voices for the duration of the flight. TWATS on a plane. I feel better for the rant though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatful Of Hollow 0 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Hugo and Piers? fucking hell... Should have gave dear Hugo an elbow to the face when he was trying to shove past you, that would have shut him up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MUTHAFUCKING TWATS ON THIS MUTHAFUCKING PLANE!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44113 Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 I knew they were posh annoying little wankers before I even heard their names. That was just the icing on the cake tbh. Honestly, if you deliberately wanted to set out to raise a couple of pretentious little twatbags, you couldn't give them a better start than to name them Hugo and Piers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Sounds like the woman has all the parenting skills of a table. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44113 Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 Sounds like the woman has all the parenting skills of a table. I was almost as annoyed with her as the kids. She kept giving people sheepish looks as if to say "what can you do?". Well you could stop fucking asking them nicely to behave when it's clear it's not working, you dizzy bint. Bollock the fuckers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 How come you were over in Holland Scott? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Lazaru 0 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 So Gemmill what you're ultimately saying here is, there was a couple of spoilt little posh kids and you completely bottled it and let them make you their bitch? If i'd been there i'd have been the same only i would have lost my temper long before you as i can't stand kids at the best of times, never mind when they are acting up like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44113 Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 How come you were over in Holland Scott? Work. Been in Rotterdam for the past couple of days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44113 Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 So Gemmill what you're ultimately saying here is, there was a couple of spoilt little posh kids and you completely bottled it and let them make you their bitch? If i'd been there i'd have been the same only i would have lost my temper long before you as i can't stand kids at the best of times, never mind when they are acting up like that! Now hey! He never got past me on the stairs, the little prick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adios 717 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 TWATS on a plane. You've been DYING to say that since you thought of it on the plane, haven't you? What's are you doing in first class btw? Unless Piers and Hugo were slumming it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Sounds like the woman has all the parenting skills of a table. I was almost as annoyed with her as the kids. She kept giving people sheepish looks as if to say "what can you do?". Well you could stop fucking asking them nicely to behave when it's clear it's not working, you dizzy bint. Bollock the fuckers! I feel your pain. Oh, and can I add a pre-emptive "go fuck yourself" to any morons to suggest I can't comment on parenting as I don't have kids of my own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adios 717 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Work. Been in Rotterdam for the past couple of days. Teaching the Dutch outfit how to use internet forums? Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44113 Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 TWATS on a plane. You've been DYING to say that since you thought of it on the plane, haven't you? What's are you doing in first class btw? Unless Piers and Hugo were slumming it. I only came up with it as I sat down to start the thread man. It was inspired though, so I can see how you thought it was pre-meditated. Hugo and Piers were slumming it tbh. This company I works for will only pay for economy - it's one of the reasons I'm looking for a new job. I'm all about the business class tbh. It's only the KLM flight from Amsterdam to Newcastle though, so the first 4 seats (which are identical to all the others on the plane) are business class. I was in row 5 (seething with jealousy) and as if to rub it in the stewardess comes along and pulls across a 6 inch high curtain that goes from the top of the chair in front to the ceiling, but only pulls across as far as the seats go. I felt like saying "You do realise I can still see what you're getting up to by looking down the aisle don't you? Bitch!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44113 Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 Work. Been in Rotterdam for the past couple of days. Teaching the Dutch outfit how to use internet forums? Nice. I've barely been on here tbh! And my wireless didn't work in the hotel room so I couldn't get on to entertain you all of an evening. By the way, if anyone's ever been to Holland - how SHIT are their bikes? Honestly all of the fuckers ride them, and they're all completely shit. The bloke's ones don't even have crossbars ffs. If you turned up on a mountain bike or a BMX they'd think you were from the future. These things are only one step removed from the penny farthing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thompson 0 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Shouldve done a Basil Fawltey and elbowed the little cunts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adios 717 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 the stewardess comes along and pulls across a 6 inch high curtain that goes from the top of the chair in front to the ceiling, but only pulls across as far as the seats go. I felt like saying "You do realise I can still see what you're getting up to by looking down the aisle don't you? Bitch!" Something has to be done to let the peasants know there's a line that must not be crossed, even if it is only symbolic. I didn't think Piers and Hugo could be any dafter, but economy class Piers and Hugo are dafter; I bet her husband was sat in business class, pissing himself laughing at them, I know I would be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10674 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Girl I know down here is going out with a Hugo and cannot understand why, every time she mentions his name I snigger and shake my head. fucking.. Hugo... FFS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44113 Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 the stewardess comes along and pulls across a 6 inch high curtain that goes from the top of the chair in front to the ceiling, but only pulls across as far as the seats go. I felt like saying "You do realise I can still see what you're getting up to by looking down the aisle don't you? Bitch!" Something has to be done to let the peasants know there's a line that must not be crossed, even if it is only symbolic. I didn't think Piers and Hugo could be any dafter, but economy class Piers and Hugo are dafter; I bet her husband was sat in business class, pissing himself laughing at them, I know I would be. Nah, she kept ringing the dad to report in and tell him how well they were behaving. Then threatening them to ring and tell daddy that they were being naughty when they acted themselves. Judging by their reaction they're about as scared of him as they are of her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Should've shat in their milk tbh. The worst is when you're on a plane and you have kids sitting behind you. Who don't. stop. fidgeting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44113 Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 Girl I know down here is going out with a Hugo and cannot understand why, every time she mentions his name I snigger and shake my head. fucking.. Hugo... FFS Worst name I've ever heard on a bloke was in Cambridge. My mate was there at University and I went down for May week. They had one of these poncey garden party things going on and this kid walks up in a stripey blazer and hat and introduced himself, in the most plummy accent ever, as Herbie. I nearly spat my drink all over him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10674 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 I know of a bloke called "Hez" a few Olivers, who insist on the full name and not Olly Sebastian.... who's a painfully pretentious cnut of the highest order. Actually refused to go into a pub cos there was a homeless guy sat on one of the benches OUTSIDE. safe to say I carried on inside regardless without breaking stride, because I'm dead cool as fuck 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44113 Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 I know of a bloke called "Hez" a few Olivers, who insist on the full name and not Olly Sebastian.... who's a painfully pretentious cnut of the highest order. Actually refused to go into a pub cos there was a homeless guy sat on one of the benches OUTSIDE. safe to say I carried on inside regardless without breaking stride, because I'm dead cool as fuck 8) Wait....you mean to tell me you were actually socialising with a bloke called Sebastian? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10674 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 I know of a bloke called "Hez" a few Olivers, who insist on the full name and not Olly Sebastian.... who's a painfully pretentious cnut of the highest order. Actually refused to go into a pub cos there was a homeless guy sat on one of the benches OUTSIDE. safe to say I carried on inside regardless without breaking stride, because I'm dead cool as fuck 8) Wait....you mean to tell me you were actually socialising with a bloke called Sebastian? Out with Housemate who's girlfriend studies Art... her friends bloke who studies art... nuff said to be fair only way to make it worse would be if it was "History of Art" (can't paint for shit, but I know how old that Athena poster is.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44113 Posted November 9, 2006 Author Share Posted November 9, 2006 I know of a bloke called "Hez" a few Olivers, who insist on the full name and not Olly Sebastian.... who's a painfully pretentious cnut of the highest order. Actually refused to go into a pub cos there was a homeless guy sat on one of the benches OUTSIDE. safe to say I carried on inside regardless without breaking stride, because I'm dead cool as fuck 8) Wait....you mean to tell me you were actually socialising with a bloke called Sebastian? Out with Housemate who's girlfriend studies Art... her friends bloke who studies art... nuff said to be fair only way to make it worse would be if it was "History of Art" (can't paint for shit, but I know how old that Athena poster is.) Studying art!? Point out to him that they'll shorten it to Seb on his McDonalds name tag. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now