Smeeagain with the real one for today

[bobbyshinton 59]

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse, when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.

 

"I'm too young to die!", she wails.

Then she yells,

"Well,if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable. Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

 

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a man stands up in the rear of the plane.

 

"I can make you feel like a woman," he says.

 

He is gorgeous - tall, well built with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt,one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends his hand to the trembling woman and whispers .......

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.....

 

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.....

 

"Iron this." that's the real one?

[Jill 0]

Our survey says..... nah.

[Guest Patrokles]

Saw the punchline coming a mile off

[geordieshandy 0]

Old as the mould on me kecks that man.

[Gemmill 44173]

Aye, ancient that one, I'm afraid.

[Toonraider 0]

this is better.....

 

Two women in heaven

 

 

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

 

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

 

1st woman: I froze to death.

 

2nd woman: How horrible!

 

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the

cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful

death. What about you?

 

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that

my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the

act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching

TV.

 

1st woman: So, what happened?

 

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there

somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran

up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I

went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept

this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so

exhausted that I just kneeled over with a heart attack and died.

 

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer........

We'd both still be alive.

[bobbyshinton 59]

this is better.....

 

Two women in heaven

 

 

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

 

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

 

1st woman: I froze to death.

 

2nd woman: How horrible!

 

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the

cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful

death. What about you?

 

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that

my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the

act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching

TV.

 

1st woman: So, what happened?

 

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there

somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran

up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I

went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept

this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so

exhausted that I just kneeled over with a heart attack and died.

 

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer........

We'd both still be alive.