Taking A Dump At Work

[Brock Manson 0]

I've never felt the urge to drop a load at work. I remember I did it at school when I was 8 or so and a guy in my class was outside the cubicle making me laugh so I couldn't go. I missed assembly because of the fucker.

 

In fact on holiday I don't do it for about 3 days, I think it's my body accounting for the water change.

[Steve 0]

When you have guts that don't work properly like mine, you don't give a fuck whether you're at work or not, you shit when you need to shit. Now I know Mr Hog will know the feeling, but when your guts are like mine, when you have to go, you have to go now. I don't care anymore, I'll shit when I have to shit.

[wykikitoon 20714]

When you have guts that don't work properly like mine, you don't give a fuck whether you're at work or not, you shit when you need to shit. Now I know Mr Hog will know the feeling, but when your guts are like mine, when you have to go, you have to go now. I don't care anymore, I'll shit when I have to shit.

16620[/snapback]

 

Aye I wont do too much damage to my innerds but why all those noises and sickness! Not of you but others?

[Thompson 0]

Nowt better than getting paid for gan to the bog!

[Happy Face 29]

11AM every morning I have my daily dump. Uses up 20 minutes where I should be working.

 

I don't mind people making most noises (plops, guffs etc), it's only natural. What really annoys me is heavy breathing. It amazes me that people can need to gasp for air so audibly just because a stool is being produced. They sound like they've done a half marathon. Makes my skin crawl.

 

Edit: Any festival-going requires significant immodium intake though, must bung myself up completely for the duration.

Edited August 23, 2005 by Happy Face

[Papa Lazaru 0]

Nowt better than getting paid for gan to the bog!

16630[/snapback]

 

Exactly, do it on their time not yours

 

Seriously though, i don't see any problem with going at work at all unless they have hideous bogs or something.

[Jusoda Kid 1]

The 'no reaction' from the female members of the board says it all

16588[/snapback]

 

Here's a reaction from a lady (yes, I am one before any funny fecker starts!!)

 

Personally I prefer to not take a dump at work. I prefer the comfort of my own bathroom. Last week at work one of the cleaners discovered that someone had been shitting in the waste bin in the ladies changing room toilet. The waste bin was to the side of the toilet so we were all pretty disgusted and baffled as to why it was the case. The culprit has not been found and signs have had to be put up in the loo asking that people only put unsoiled waste paper in the waste bins. How ridiculous is that?

16599[/snapback]

 

Thats confirmed it. When it comes to dropping a teddy bears leg lasses have got dirtier habits than lads - fact

[Smooth Operator 10]

Where I used to work a bloke used to manage to get a perfect stripe of shit running from the top of the toilet rim all the way down into the bowl. Now, he would have had to lift the seat to do this and it was a fairly regular occurence (about once a week). Fucking tramp.

16537[/snapback]

 

While we're on the subject, what sort of tramp sits there, picks their nose and then proceeds to wipe their excavations all over the toilet cubicle walls when theres fucking toilet paper right next to them?!

16546[/snapback]

 

Civil Servants, thats what sort of tramps do that. When i worked up Longbenton the cleaner who used to do the cleaning on my floor would get the same bus as me in the morning. She told me that the state some of the toilets were left in, especially the woman's, were nothing short of a fucking disgrace and the majority of these snotty fuckas swan around the place like butter wouldn't melt, with their sharp suits on etc.

 

When if the truth be known there a bunch of dirty arse bastards, i dread to think what their houses are like.

 

Dirty arse civil servants!

16551[/snapback]

 

"When you worked"? - So does that mean your not coming back then from this lengthy sick absence then?

 

The shithouse where i work had faulty flushers and the stench of piss n shit would build up daily, just passing the bogs was a nightmare journey until someone complained and we got proper flushers put on - that's the government though, pick the cheapest contract for eveything.

 

When on my work experience years ago to Newburn Leisure Centre, part of my chores was to check the changing rooms every hour, so on one of my rounds i discovered a freshly laid dump on the floor of a cubicle right next to the actual bog.

 

So thinking i'd score a few "brownie" points for spotting this i wondered off to find my supervisor to see what would be done about it. He told me that the cleaner was off sick and that i'd had to clean it up myself.

 

I told the daft cunt that there was no way i was cleaning up shit when i'd come to get experience as a leisure assistant and if that what is expected of a leisure assistant then he could stick it up his arse, i then left the building and spent the rest of my weeks work experience getting fingers and tops off my then pre-pubescent girlfriend!

[Jusoda Kid 1]

"When you worked"? - So does that mean your not coming back then from this lengthy sick absence then?

 

16746[/snapback]

 

 

As you well know I'm not fit for a return to that hell hole you call work and thats doctors orders, but the fact of the matter is I'm becomingl terribly bored being off so i will decide upon my return from 10 days in the costa del sol whether or not another stint in the costa del shit is right for me.

 

Good day to you sir

[Holden McGroin 6783]

When I go to the gym on a Thursday morning there is always and old bloke in there who has the most stinkiest shits in the world then has a swim. Pollutes the whole changing rooms....

 

JUST HAVE A DUMP IN YOUR HOUSE BEFORE THE GYM !

 

rant over.

[Smooth Operator 10]

"When you worked"? - So does that mean your not coming back then from this lengthy sick absence then?

 

16746[/snapback]

 

 

As you well know I'm not fit for a return to that hell hole you call work and thats doctors orders, but the fact of the matter is I'm becomingl terribly bored being off so i will decide upon my return from 10 days in the costa del sol whether or not another stint in the costa del shit is right for me.

 

Good day to you sir

16996[/snapback]

 

Seems strangely fitting that your leaving the country just as the net closes in on you for the Corner House job!

[Jusoda Kid 1]

"When you worked"? - So does that mean your not coming back then from this lengthy sick absence then?

 

16746[/snapback]

 

 

As you well know I'm not fit for a return to that hell hole you call work and thats doctors orders, but the fact of the matter is I'm becomingl terribly bored being off so i will decide upon my return from 10 days in the costa del sol whether or not another stint in the costa del shit is right for me.

 

Good day to you sir

16996[/snapback]

 

Seems strangely fitting that your leaving the country just as the net closes in on you for the Corner House job!

17042[/snapback]

 

What corner house job?

[Smooth Operator 10]

"When you worked"? - So does that mean your not coming back then from this lengthy sick absence then?

 

16746[/snapback]

 

 

As you well know I'm not fit for a return to that hell hole you call work and thats doctors orders, but the fact of the matter is I'm becomingl terribly bored being off so i will decide upon my return from 10 days in the costa del sol whether or not another stint in the costa del shit is right for me.

 

Good day to you sir

16996[/snapback]

 

Seems strangely fitting that your leaving the country just as the net closes in on you for the Corner House job!

17042[/snapback]

 

What corner house job?

17045[/snapback]

 

You know as well as i.

 

Your lass manage to get the smell of parafin off your clothes yet?

[Jusoda Kid 1]

"When you worked"? - So does that mean your not coming back then from this lengthy sick absence then?

 

16746[/snapback]

 

 

As you well know I'm not fit for a return to that hell hole you call work and thats doctors orders, but the fact of the matter is I'm becomingl terribly bored being off so i will decide upon my return from 10 days in the costa del sol whether or not another stint in the costa del shit is right for me.

 

Good day to you sir

16996[/snapback]

 

Seems strangely fitting that your leaving the country just as the net closes in on you for the Corner House job!

17042[/snapback]

 

What corner house job?

17045[/snapback]

 

You know as well as i.

 

Your lass manage to get the smell of parafin off your clothes yet?

17046[/snapback]

 

It's a shit bar but i wouldn't go as far as setting it on fire. Apparently it had just had a £300,000 refit, what a pity. TBH i felt a bit sorry for the couple who were due to have their wedding do there and couldn't, fortunately they were found a new venue in one of the chains other pubs, the Anson in Wallsend, now thats what i call a sickener.