Injury Hit Toon in World Record Bid

[Craig 6700]

Newcastle United have made an audacious attempt to break a world record this week, as plans were revealed for the extension to their medical facilities. The new treatment centre, should the go-ahead be granted by Newcastle City Council, will be the biggest sports injury centre in the world.

 

Garry Poppins, chief architect behind the project explained, "When we're finished building here, not only will this be the biggest of its type in the world, we aim to be the only football injury clinic that is visible from space!".

 

Asked for the rationale behind the ambitious scheme, he simply added, "Newcastle United have a history of world class injuries which deserve a world class treatment facility".

 

The new centre will be managed by club physiotherapist Jack Hatchet, a particularly experienced healer of football injuries and ailments.

 

He told us:

 

"The passion for the game up here is tremendous, as the media never tire of pointing out to the rest of the country. It is our aim to keep the paying public hungry for more by permanently having at least five world class players on the brink of a return from injury at any one time.

 

"We're trying to keep to this regime at our current premises, but it's just too difficult. These new facilities will allow us to treat players faster, rush them back to the pitch even earlier and get them injured in a bigger and better way than ever before".

 

Hatchet concluded, "It is my vision to have the whole first team squad having intensive massage on the groin strains, staring at an inspirational picture of Michael Owen suffering from his knee injury at the world cup... But maybe that's just me".

 

Source: http://eatfootball.net/eat_football_opinio...190225,496.html

[bobbyshinton 59]

Newcastle United have made an audacious attempt to break a world record this week, as plans were revealed for the extension to their medical facilities. The new treatment centre, should the go-ahead be granted by Newcastle City Council, will be the biggest sports injury centre in the world.

 

Garry Poppins, chief architect behind the project explained, "When we're finished building here, not only will this be the biggest of its type in the world, we aim to be the only football injury clinic that is visible from space!".

 

Asked for the rationale behind the ambitious scheme, he simply added, "Newcastle United have a history of world class injuries which deserve a world class treatment facility".

 

The new centre will be managed by club physiotherapist Jack Hatchet, a particularly experienced healer of football injuries and ailments.

 

He told us:

 

"The passion for the game up here is tremendous, as the media never tire of pointing out to the rest of the country. It is our aim to keep the paying public hungry for more by permanently having at least five world class players on the brink of a return from injury at any one time.

 

"We're trying to keep to this regime at our current premises, but it's just too difficult. These new facilities will allow us to treat players faster, rush them back to the pitch even earlier and get them injured in a bigger and better way than ever before".

 

Hatchet concluded, "It is my vision to have the whole first team squad having intensive massage on the groin strains, staring at an inspirational picture of Michael Owen suffering from his knee injury at the world cup... But maybe that's just me".

 

Source: http://eatfootball.net/eat_football_opinio...190225,496.html

 

 

eh, what happens if only three are injured? They break a couple of legs

[Kid Dynamite 7207]

please tell me you are joking bobby!

[paddy 17]

i heard that we are in advanced talks to takeover the RVI and name it the NUFC Medical centre