Colonic Irrigation

[adios 717]

I got a very detailed email from a friend of a friend on the experience, anyone want me to dig it out?

[ChezGiven 0]

I got a very detailed email from a friend of a friend on the experience, anyone want me to dig it out?

 

Have just finished me choccy bar so aye get it sorted...

[Renton 21045]

I got a very detailed email from a friend of a friend on the experience, anyone want me to dig it out?

 

Yes.

 

Post his or her piccy while you're at it to give us a better "feel" for it.

[adios 717]

I'm looking, hope that's not a Snickers CG just finished. I can't post a pic as only the friend knows the true identity of the original author, I might have to have him resend if it was too long ago.

[ChezGiven 0]

I'm looking, hope that's not a Snickers CG just finished. I can't post a pic as only the friend knows the true identity of the original author, I might have to have him resend if it was too long ago.

 

 

No it was a mars. A Lion bar would have been the worse as they have that nobbled just been forced out of the lower colon look.....

 

Not sure why i thnk that tbh.

[adios 717]

DO NOT READ ON IF YOU'RE WEAK STOMACHED!!!

 

 

So a good while ago, myself and a couple of friends thought it might be interesting to get Sunday Hangover Colonics. We never actually got around to it but the idea stayed with me. As some of you know, I am currently on the Atkins Diet (affectionately dubbed Scatkins by our Chimpness). It's a lot of red meat, which sometimes remains in the intestines and bowels without being properly 'processed'. About two weeks ago I was having some stomach issues e.g. sharp pain and nasty anal gasses. Decided then that it was time to go for the highly touted(by whom you ask??) irrigation. I have a friend that works at a cosmetic surgery clinic and she was able to hook me up with a pretty sweet discount (normally 120... got it done for 60).

 

I have to admit that I was a little apprehensive about getting it done. The tube up the ass thing is a little disconcerting and the whole (have your way with me pun-masters) male machismo homophobe thing was having a field day in my withered brain. I pressed on. I met my hydrotherapist and she explains a few things about the procedure and what I should eat for the next couple of days following the anal intrusion.

 

*Cue The Ass Tube* - Insertion was a little uncomfortable. Gaydar was reading off the charts but the feeling subsided.

 

*Enter Warm Water Here: _ _ _* - This was a strange sensation. We have these solid, formulated conceptions, based on experience, of how things work. Stuff flows OUT. Not IN. Yet here I was, getting warm water pumped into me, waiting to tell the hydrotherapist that my stomach felt full. Despite flow reversal, I still felt like I had to shit (I also felt like puking on a couple of occasions... tis a good thing they make you wear an overgrown bib).

 

*"MY STOMACH IS FULL, MY STOMACH IS FULL"* - It only takes a couple of minutes before you feel full but at this point, all sorts of alarms were going off. Anxiety knows no bounds. I wasn't in any physical discomfort... I was just, you know, freaking. Bear in mind that this is all internal. Externally, I'm involved in chatty chat chat chat with the chatty but loveable hyrdrotherapist. In retrospect, this was possibly her way of keeping me distracted from what was happening but at the time?? I wanted to stick a cork in her. Once my stomach was full, she stopped pumping warm water in and let it all flush out. A relief you may never understand.

 

*REPEAT* (minus tube insertion) - This process lasts for 30 minutes. What countless variety of things can you do in 30 minutes?

 

After four or five pumping and flushings, she comments that there is normally more 'waste'. Then came the gurgle. I'm no rocket scientist, nor have I ever been subject to anything like this prior yet... YET... I knew what this gurgle signified. A tacit understanding. "Here it comes", vapidly stated by the lady with the tube. That gurgle is the only thing I heard for the next 15 minutes, apart from the hydrotherapist's startled 'OH' after one of the gurgles. What she saw is between her and God.

 

Once the process is finished, the tube is removed and she suggests you go to the bathroom. This should not be a suggestion. She should COMMAND you to do so. Needless to say, there's still a whole lot of water up there that isn't willing to stick around. What I saw should remain between me and God but I'm going to share it with you. Corn. By the bowlful. Ask me when I ate corn last, go on. No?? You don't care to know?? 8 months ago.

 

 

I'm not going to say that this sort of thing grows on you but I was definitely more comfortable with it after ten minutes or so. You kinda get crampy at times but like all things, it 'passes'. I felt remarkably empty afterwards, my belly had receded a little and oddly, the whites of my eyes were much brighter than they've been in years. I'm not sure I could do it again as that feeling of having to poo for 30 minutes is a little uncomfortable but overall, it wasn't as bad as you might expect it to be.

[GeordieMessiah 2]

Sounds fun actually.

[Guest Toplass-101]

didnt johnny knoxville have this done on an episode of jackass?

 

 

its minging to think that all those turds are stuck up there.

 

How longs a turd stay up there for then eh?

 

 

waste matter, which has accumulated over week, months and even years

 

Ridley Place is where this one hangs out

I watched a program a few months back and a few ppl were having this done, they said one lad found a marble in the muck that came out, this had been swallowed when he was a boy, it had been there over 25 years!

Edited September 11, 2006 by Toplass-101