Your favourite stand up comedians?

[PaddockLad 17257]

Nonsense.

 

The reason this policy came in is because places like the Stand found they lost no money by excluding the groups that ruin the night for everyone else. Acts hate playing Jongleurs and Hyena and their ilk because you may as well put a Roy Chubby Brown dvd on for all the attention the act gets. Mind, they pay well.

 

End of the day, if you want to go for a pint and talk to your mate, don't go to a comedy club. It's a retarded idea. You'd be better off going to, oh I dunno, a pub?

 

So you're not allowed to stump up on a whim then,as part of an evening out, and inadvertantly make a judgement?...look, I'm aware that you may be invloved somehow in this game but you're basically saying that comedy clubs are only for proper afficionado's such as yourself who enjoy a sweet sherry or two of an evening, and people turning up on spec are only welcome if theyre pretty sober too...not that these lads who were kicked out of the Hyena were pissed, far from it, they were just easier to pick on than a stag do in order to make a point which was, as you've pointed out, irrelevent in a place that lets parties like that in.

 

Thats not always been the case. The shite died in the clubs and went back down the pits in the old days, the rest became Les Dawson or similar. Natural selection as it were. Now its a cash fest, every jumped up prick wants in, thus we've to respect utter shit...or else. Tell me am wrong, am perfectly willing to listen, but you've not really made a case for us all to fall into line with how lot of clubs want their punters to behave. If you want paying for something, at least be half decent at it. And if you've got alcohol involved, as it always has been in this game, dont try it if you're lacking a bit of bottle.

[The Fish 10857]

So you're not allowed to stump up on a whim then,as part of an evening out, and inadvertantly make a judgement?...look, I'm aware that you may be invloved somehow in this game but you're basically saying that comedy clubs are only for proper afficionado's such as yourself who enjoy a sweet sherry or two of an evening, and people turning up on spec are only welcome if theyre pretty sober too...not that these lads who were kicked out of the Hyena were pissed, far from it, they were just easier to pick on than a stag do in order to make a point which was, as you've pointed out, irrelevent in a place that lets parties like that in.

 

Thats not always been the case. The shite died in the clubs and went back down the pits in the old days, the rest became Les Dawson or similar. Natural selection as it were. Now its a cash fest, every jumped up prick wants in, thus we've to respect utter shit...or else. Tell me am wrong, am perfectly willing to listen, but you've not really made a case for us all to fall into line with how lot of clubs want their punters to behave. If you want paying for something, at least be half decent at it. And if you've got alcohol involved, as it always has been in this game, dont try it if you're lacking a bit of bottle.

That's not what I'm saying at all, of course go on a whim, but go on a whim in the same way you'd go to a cinema on a whim or a music gig on a whim. In other words, you'd behave in those places differently than you would in a pub.

 

Speaking of which, if this was upstairs in a pub, I'd not be surprised if people weren't giving the comedy undivided attention. But you've paid a tenner to go into a dedicated comedy club; you know what you're getting into. After that, the P.A. will normally do, as part of the five minute call, a list of the clubs rules, one of which is normally "don't talk during the act". After that the compère will go through the rules as part of his warm up, s/he will reiterate that you shouldn't talk during the act. If, after all of that, you're still talking, then the club is well within their rights to chuck you out and call you a dick while doing it.

 

It's little to do with a need to be stone-cold sober. Personally I wouldn't go to a comedy club to get pissed, I'd go to a pub, but whatever. You're well within your rights to go and get drunk wherever you like, but you have to accept that your right to get drunk doesn't supersede the rights of the rest of the audience to have a good night out. So if you have a few beers and chat to your mate loudly enough to disrupt the show, you're a knob.

 

The comics who go to Jongleurs/Hyena and their like are getting a couple of grand for a weekend's work and have been through the cull and have got to a decent level as a professional stand-up (otherwise Jongleurs/Hyena wouldn't take them. Those that don't make the grade are weeded out at open-mic spots and upstairs in pubs and that kind of gig.

 

End of the day, if you want a chat and a pint with your mate, go to a pub. It's got fuck all to do with being an aficionado or not, it's just common courtesy. I wouldn't chat throughout a movie, or read a paper at the match, I wouldn't exercise in B&Q or shave my head in the library.

[PaddockLad 17257]

I hope the acts I saw in Hyena that night weren't on a couple of grand each; if they were they just prove my point that theres far too much cash swimming around in stand up and people are being paid for being mediocre at best

 

I see what you're saying and on a basic level it makes sense. But I saw a bill in Soho a few years back where the compare was Rufus Hound, Milton Jones, some other gadge off the box who's name escape's me and some other bloke plainly with huge personal issues and using his spot as some sort of public therapy session. 3 of them were funny, and 3 of them were pretty soon on tv. The last guy wasn't and got a bit of good natured stick from those still listening after 5 minutes. He pretty much died. don't tell me he was getting top dollar too, or that we had to show him some respect for just "giving it a go"?

[The Fish 10857]

I hope the acts I saw in Hyena that night weren't on a couple of grand each; if they were they just prove my point that theres far too much cash swimming around in stand up and people are being paid for being mediocre at best

 

I see what you're saying and on a basic level it makes sense. But I saw a bill in Soho a few years back where the compare was Rufus Hound, Milton Jones, some other gadge off the box who's name escape's me and some other bloke plainly with huge personal issues and using his spot as some sort of public therapy session. 3 of them were funny, and 3 of them were pretty soon on tv. The last guy wasn't and got a bit of good natured stick from those still listening after 5 minutes. He pretty much died. don't tell me he was getting top dollar too, or that we had to show him some respect for just "giving it a go"?

Depends where you were in Soho, the Amused Moose normally has a couple of fairly well known acts on and one or two who've done ok in the unpaid spots. Jongleurs and Hyena have to pay top dollar because a lot of acts don't like doing them.

 

Mind you, comedy is one of those performance-acts that you can't practise on your own, the only way you'll get any good is if you go and do it.

 

The over-riding point is that if you want a night out at the comedy, do that. Manage your expectations, if you're in Jongleurs or Hyena, the acts will be going through the motions, the crowd will generally be ignorant and confrontational and the beer will be over-priced. You go and watch comedy at The Stand and you'll get a polished act, a better back-and-forth between the act and the crowd, (oh and the food is good). If you go to a comedy night upstairs in a pub the acts are unlikely to be as polished (even if they're established comedians), there'll be much more chatting with the crowd and there'll be a more suck it and see approach to the night.

[PaddockLad 17257]

Depends where you were in Soho, the Amused Moose normally has a couple of fairly well known acts on and one or two who've done ok in the unpaid spots. Jongleurs and Hyena have to pay top dollar because a lot of acts don't like doing them.

 

Mind you, comedy is one of those performance-acts that you can't practise on your own, the only way you'll get any good is if you go and do it.

 

The over-riding point is that if you want a night out at the comedy, do that. Manage your expectations, if you're in Jongleurs or Hyena, the acts will be going through the motions, the crowd will generally be ignorant and confrontational and the beer will be over-priced. You go and watch comedy at The Stand and you'll get a polished act, a better back-and-forth between the act and the crowd, (oh and the food is good). If you go to a comedy night upstairs in a pub the acts are unlikely to be as polished (even if they're established comedians), there'll be much more chatting with the crowd and there'll be a more suck it and see approach to the night.

 

Thats the one, makes sense. The bloke who died on his arse had just come out the closet, poor fucker

[jonasjuice 0]

On an unrelated note, I saw Frank Skinner do a work in progress show recently in the Soho theatre - he was superb. Some really clever material and great interaction with the small room.

 

Going to see Stewart Lee later in the year at Leicester Square Theatre - never seen him live - anyone here been?

[Kevin Carr's Gloves 3894]

The simple rules of enjoying a night out at a comedy club.

1: choose wisely, have you seen, heard of the acts before if not be prepared you may not get the comedy on offer.

2: be courteous, comedy is subjective you may not like the act on but otgers might. So don't talk over an act because you don't like them other people also paid to get in.

3: respect the acts, the prople at the stand and the hyena did not just turn up and ask to go on, they will have worked at nights in pubs all over writing and discarding material until they are deemed acceptable for the jump up in class.

4: are tgey an open spot. Open spots are very new comedians who are being given a chance talking over them is a cunts trick.

5: don't get tanked up. If you do your chances of getting kicked out, into a fight, made to cry (seen it done) greatly increases.

6: dont go if you're easily offended my favourite gag I wrote was just after it was revealed Jordans kid was blind. I said "I knew she would have some fuckers eyes out with those" a woman got up and left as she was leaving I remarked brilliant the average IQ in here just increased I can do the clever stuff now.

7: comedy is not an audience participation event don't try and join in.

[Kevin Carr's Gloves 3894]

On an unrelated note, I saw Frank Skinner do a work in progress show recently in the Soho theatre - he was superb. Some really clever material and great interaction with the small room.

 

Going to see Stewart Lee later in the year at Leicester Square Theatre - never seen him live - anyone here been?

 

Saw him live at the Sage then met him after with Ross Noble for a drink very funny exceptionally clever still tries to push the boundaries of comedy. A true comedian as an art form guy.

[PaddockLad 17257]

The simple rules of enjoying a night out at a comedy club.

1: choose wisely, have you seen, heard of the acts before if not be prepared you may not get the comedy on offer.

2: be courteous, comedy is subjective you may not like the act on but otgers might. So don't talk over an act because you don't like them other people also paid to get in.

3: respect the acts, the prople at the stand and the hyena did not just turn up and ask to go on, they will have worked at nights in pubs all over writing and discarding material until they are deemed acceptable for the jump up in class.

4: are tgey an open spot. Open spots are very new comedians who are being given a chance talking over them is a cunts trick.

5: don't get tanked up. If you do your chances of getting kicked out, into a fight, made to cry (seen it done) greatly increases.

6: dont go if you're easily offended my favourite gag I wrote was just after it was revealed Jordans kid was blind. I said "I knew she would have some fuckers eyes out with those" a woman got up and left as she was leaving I remarked brilliant the average IQ in here just increased I can do the clever stuff now.

7: comedy is not an audience participation event don't try and join in.

 

This is where it all falls down...being over precious about your "craft", and then not being able to take stick yourselves, or getting a nark on when someone pulls you up for being offensive. You lot in comedy make these rules yourself and think you're protected by them, just because you say its that way? You all live in the real world normally, you can see that things work differently outside of your ivory towers, can't you?...

 

I dont heckle or catcall, or get that offended by anything really. But I dont really complain when others do it either. Dont see why those in the "trade" should either. I can see how a lot of work can be ruined by drunks, but you're working in an alcohol saturated enviroment which you have no real control over, unless you are very good. Putting your head above the parapet to be shot at and then coming over all a bit harry handbag when the going gets tough is fuckin laughable man.

[Kevin Carr's Gloves 3894]

 

 

This is where it all falls down...being over precious about your "craft", and then not being able to take stick yourselves, or getting a nark on when someone pulls you up for being offensive. You lot in comedy make these rules yourself and think you're protected by them, just because you say its that way? You all live in the real world normally, you can see that things work differently outside of your ivory towers, can't you?...

 

I dont heckle or catcall, or get that offended by anything really. But I dont really complain when others do it either. Dont see why those in the "trade" should either. I can see how a lot of work can be ruined by drunks, but you're working in an alcohol saturated enviroment which you have no real control over, unless you are very good. Putting your head above the parapet to be shot at and then coming over all a bit harry handbag when the going gets tough is fuckin laughable man.

 

Well if it's laughable then thats alright. If you don't like it don't go it's a fairly simple concept.

[ewerk 30610]

You're a stand up?

[PaddockLad 17257]

Well if it's laughable then thats alright. If you don't like it don't go it's a fairly simple concept.

 

I haven't said I dont like it either, I like and admire anyone who shows talent. Making a list of "do's" and "don'ts" is sort of going a long way towards saying I might have a point though, isnt it?... just get over yourselves a bit

[The Fish 10857]

This is where it all falls down...being over precious about your "craft", and then not being able to take stick yourselves, or getting a nark on when someone pulls you up for being offensive. You lot in comedy make these rules yourself and think you're protected by them, just because you say its that way? You all live in the real world normally, you can see that things work differently outside of your ivory towers, can't you?...

 

I dont heckle or catcall, or get that offended by anything really. But I dont really complain when others do it either. Dont see why those in the "trade" should either. I can see how a lot of work can be ruined by drunks, but you're working in an alcohol saturated enviroment which you have no real control over, unless you are very good. Putting your head above the parapet to be shot at and then coming over all a bit harry handbag when the going gets tough is fuckin laughable man.

Nonsense.

 

I'm repeating myself here, but if you want to watch a movie would you put up with some nobhead talking through the movie? Course you wouldn't, but it's ok to do that at a comedy club?

 

Put it this way, as a audience member, I don't want to sit next to people talking and I'll tell them to shut up or leave. I've paid to watch comedy, not to listen to some obnoxious bellend prattle on to his mate.

 

Hecklers can be brilliant, genuinely adding to the set, but more often than not it's just some drunk who won't shut up and hasn't got anything funny to say.

[PaddockLad 17257]

Nonsense.

 

I'm repeating myself here, but if you want to watch a movie would you put up with some nobhead talking through the movie? Course you wouldn't, but it's ok to do that at a comedy club?

 

Put it this way, as a audience member, I don't want to sit next to people talking and I'll tell them to shut up or leave. I've paid to watch comedy, not to listen to some obnoxious bellend prattle on to his mate.

 

Hecklers can be brilliant, genuinely adding to the set, but more often than not it's just some drunk who won't shut up and hasn't got anything funny to say.

 

How can you expect to control it though?...apart from getting intimidating goons to do it for you...

[The Fish 10857]

The simple rules of enjoying a night out at a music gig.

1: choose wisely, have you seen, heard of the acts before? If not, be prepared you may not like the music on offer.

2: be courteous, music is subjective you may not like the act on but others might. So don't talk loudly enough to be heard over an act because you don't like them, as other people also paid to get in.

3: respect the acts, the people at the dedicated music venue did not just turn up and ask to go on, they will have worked at nights in pubs all over writing and discarding music until they are deemed acceptable for the jump up in class.

4: are they an open spot. Open spots are very new musicians who are being given a chance, talking over them is a cunts trick.

5: don't get tanked up. If you do your chances of getting kicked out, into a fight, greatly increases.

6: dont go if you're easily bored

7: Music is not an audience participation event don't try and join in.

[Kevin Carr's Gloves 3894]

You're a stand up?

 

I used to be.

[The Fish 10857]

How can you expect to control it though?...apart from getting intimidating goons to do it for you...

Control what? a comedy gig? Piece of piss,

1. Don't let large parties of knobheads in
   
2. The isolated knobhead is harder to spot, but the support staff (normally barstaff or the organiser of the night) can easily eject one or two. (Especially as that one person is normally in the company of friends who are embarrassed and just want to leave when they realise the overwhelming majority of the audience think their mate is a cunt)
   
3. 90% of the people who are told to shut up by someone that isn't on stage do actually shut up.
   

[PaddockLad 17257]

Fish/KCG, in one of Mark Steele's books he describes performing "in front of 200 pissed Millwall fans at the Tunnel Club". He wasnt on 2k a weekend in the mid 80s either. Whats changed? at that level I'm talking, large-ish club gigs... what would the main differences be between then and now?...are aggresive audiences still out there, outside of the hen/stag circuit?...are there comics willing play to them for buttons as Steele wiouldve got, just to pay the rent? what would the security have been like for that gig?...and how do you impress 200 Millwall fans by being a member of the Socialist Workers Party ffs ?...and you're telling me that your evening turns all "frightful daahling" because theres a few daft comments from a drunk trying to be smart?!

[Gemmill 44872]

The only people I've ever seen get hoyed out of the Hyena were completely inconsiderate knobheads who either thought they were funnier than the main act and wanted everyone to know it, or just thought it was fine to continue their conversation as if they were in a pub. They were all warned before being booted.

 

I actually WAS funnier than the main act, but I kept my mouth shut about it.

[Kevin Carr's Gloves 3894]

Fish/KCG, in one of Mark Steele's books he describes performing "in front of 200 pissed Millwall fans at the Tunnel Club". He wasnt on 2k a weekend in the mid 80s either. Whats changed? at that level I'm talking, large-ish club gigs... what would the main differences be between then and now?...are aggresive audiences still out there, outside of the hen/stag circuit?...are there comics willing play to them for buttons as Steele wiouldve got, just to pay the rent? what would the security have been like for that gig?...and how do you impress 200 Millwall fans by being a member of the Socialist Workers Party ffs ?...and you're telling me that your evening turns all "frightful daahling" because theres a few daft comments from a drunk trying to be smart?!

 

I did a gig in Coatbridge to their loyal Flute Band and followers that was a horrendous gig but I knew it would be.

[PaddockLad 17257]

I did a gig in Coatbridge to their loyal Flute Band and followers that was a horrendous gig but I knew it would be.

 

did you issue them with your list beforehand?

[The Fish 10857]

Fish/KCG, in one of Mark Steele's books he describes performing "in front of 200 pissed Millwall fans at the Tunnel Club". He wasnt on 2k a weekend in the mid 80s either. Whats changed? at that level I'm talking, large-ish club gigs... what would the main differences be between then and now?...are aggresive audiences still out there, outside of the hen/stag circuit?...are there comics willing play to them for buttons as Steele wiouldve got, just to pay the rent? what would the security have been like for that gig?...and how do you impress 200 Millwall fans by being a member of the Socialist Workers Party ffs ?...and you're telling me that your evening turns all "frightful daahling" because theres a few daft comments from a drunk trying to be smart?!

That's a canny imagination you've got there. There's a chasm of difference between one knobhead being a prick and "frightful dahling".

I don't think you're getting it, it's not "sit silently and be grateful for the comedians' presence" It's simply, "don't be a nobhead". Heckle if you like, but be prepared for a rebuke. I'll reiterate, you wouldn't talk through a movie, why would you do it at a comedy gig? Would you talk over a play? No, course not.

 

The piece in the Independent that you've googled is about hecklers and how the comedians deal with them. We're not talking about hecklers, we're talking about people talking during the set. If you heckle, the comedian will generally sich you up. S/he does it for a living, s/he has a microphone and s/he has the benefit of not being a drunken arsehole. But there's nothing the comedian can do if two people just want to talk to each other. He can deliver brilliant one liners, expertly crafted stories, witty skits, it matters not a jot if the people who's attention he's try to get aren't listening.

[Kevin Carr's Gloves 3894]

 

 

did you issue them with your list beforehand?

 

You seem incapable of understanding that comedy is performed in different places to different rules

[PaddockLad 17257]

That's a canny imagination you've got there. There's a chasm of difference between one knobhead being a prick and "frightful dahling".

I don't think you're getting it, it's not "sit silently and be grateful for the comedians' presence" It's simply, "don't be a nobhead". Heckle if you like, but be prepared for a rebuke. I'll reiterate, you wouldn't talk through a movie, why would you do it at a comedy gig? Would you talk over a play? No, course not.

 

The piece in the Independent that you've googled is about hecklers and how the comedians deal with them. We're not talking about hecklers, we're talking about people talking during the set. If you heckle, the comedian will generally sich you up. S/he does it for a living, s/he has a microphone and s/he has the benefit of not being a drunken arsehole. But there's nothing the comedian can do if two people just want to talk to each other. He can deliver brilliant one liners, expertly crafted stories, witty skits, it matters not a jot if the people who's attention he's try to get aren't listening.

 

Why do you think I googled it?... its from his first book...reasons to be cheerful...

 

As for the rest, it does seem utterly pointless paying money and then not listening. But if s/he is good theres more chance of holding an audience's attention. If you get a lot of people talking among themselves at a gig, theres a problem. If its only a couple, for fucks sakes, man up. Ignore them, its their loss, dont get a thug to hoy them out.

[The Fish 10857]

Why do you think I googled it?... its from his first book...reasons to be cheerful...

 

As for the rest, it does seem utterly pointless paying money and then not listening. But if s/he is good theres more chance of holding an audience's attention. If you get a lot of people talking among themselves at a gig, theres a problem. If its only a couple, for fucks sakes, man up. Ignore them, its their loss, dont get a thug to hoy them out.

2 things.

1. You can't ignore them; try concentrating on a tv program while your missus is talking on the phone. It doesn't get easier when there's 100 people focussed on something and 2 people having a chat, it gets worse. Especially when one of the people who's getting distracted is the focus of the other 99 people's attention.

2. Where have all these thugs sprung from? I've kicked people out, I'm hardly a thug I think you've let one bad experience colour your opinion.