Gemmill 47774 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Nicked these off N-O where they were being used to describe Gary Neville (sacrilege!). Anyway, I'm sure people will have heard them a million times, but they're class. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris has two speeds, walk and kill. When the boogey man goes to sleep at night, he checks his wardrobe for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the reason that 'Wally' is hiding. When Chuck Norris does a push up, he aint lifting himself up, he's pushing the world down. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity, twice. The Great Wall of China was originally built to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in only 3 moves. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in Primary School. Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year. Chuck Norris has no doors, only walls he walks through. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they made him blink. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. Chuck Norris is so fast, that he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head! Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. It's a shame he has never cried. Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 As it was six months ago, I'll let you off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sima 0 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Or Jack Bauer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47774 Posted July 31, 2006 Author Share Posted July 31, 2006 As it was six months ago, I'll let you off. 167495[/snapback] Cheers, some good ones there too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14026 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11128 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya". favourite Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 There was Mr T Facts going round on an e-mail ages ago, think I deleted it though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 i thought they were Rob W facts....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizza 105 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down. Fact! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bizza 105 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted July 31, 2006 Share Posted July 31, 2006 Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in only 3 moves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zathras 296 Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 (edited) Bridge over Danube could be named after Chuck Norris A new bridge in Hungary could be named after the action film actor Chuck Norris after officials left the naming to an internet vote. Votes for the Chuck Norris Bridge have so far attracted 11 per cent, of the vote, organised by the Ministry for the Economy. That puts it just ahead of naming the bridge after Hungarian humorist Geza Hofi and three times more popular than naming it after state founder Szent Istvan. Votes can be cast until September 8 on the website www.m0hid.gov.hu There are more that 500 nominations, as well as names referring to delays, such as 'It Will Never Happen Bridge'. A government committee will review the three winning names, as well as other proposals put forward by local governments, cartographers, linguists and others. The bridge over the Danube is due to open in 2008. http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1938048.html?menu= Edited August 11, 2006 by Zathras Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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