Gemmill 47775 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Took my car in for its MOT today which meant putting myself through the torture that is using public transport. Anyway this lass gets on the metro, and sits opposite me.....very strange girl....short-haired, jam-jar glasses and a blink that makes her whole face scrunch up. Within about 5 minutes of getting on she starts rummaging in her bag and pulls out this tube of cream, squirts some onto her hand and starts rubbing it onto her shoulder. By this stage, I'm intrigued, so I casually glance at what she's rubbing this cream into. It's a fresh tattoo, the complexity of which has to be seen to be believed. Honestly, this must have been years in the design phase, and how she managed to find someone talented enough to turn her vision into reality, I'll never know. Scroll down to see what it said, but bear in mind that on a computer screen it's very difficult to convey just how good this thing was: M D A D M But in swirly font as well. Beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11128 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 I'm telling you, Metro, it's for pond life ande perverts only! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47775 Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 These two charver lads got on and after they'd finished beating one another with copies of Metro and shouting "FUCK OFF" really loud after every time they hit each other.....they started chatting her up and admiring her tattoo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thompson 0 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 I use the fucker nigh on every day, going to College or Work.. Got my driving test soon so fingers crossed i wont have to for much longer!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Very rare i use public transport but i did have the pleasure of paying £1.30 from Walkergate to Byker (2 stops) the other day and was amazed at the previously mentioned scum this electric wonder attracts, I swear it's some sort of magnet for the metal plates in their heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally 0 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 The Metro cracks me up, worth the money for the laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11128 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 I use the fucker nigh on every day, going to College or Work.. Got my driving test soon so fingers crossed i wont have to for much longer!! 158277[/snapback] just proved my previous point tbh (note to Mods, we need a chav smiley) rocks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 I use the fucker nigh on every day, going to College or Work.. Got my driving test soon so fingers crossed i wont have to for much longer!! 158277[/snapback] just proved my previous point tbh (note to Mods, we need a chav smiley) rocks 158292[/snapback] What's a chav Mr Fish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Very rare i use public transport but i did have the pleasure of paying £1.30 from Walkergate to Byker (2 stops) the other day and was amazed at the previously mentioned scum this electric wonder attracts, I swear it's some sort of magnet for the metal plates in their heads. 158282[/snapback] What the fuck were you doing down my way? My restraining order means you have to keep a mile away from me at all times and Walkergate metro is half a mile from my gaff! I'm calling the busies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill 0 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 I quite like the metro.. you get all sorts of characters. I was gutted when North Shields Court moved a while back so it was no longer easy to get the metro to - I used to love my mid-morning trips through Meadowell etc, some quality sights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 I recall a few years back getting the last metty from town back to 4 lane ends, it was packed. As the train pulled into Longbenton station a bloke had an epileptic fit. He was on his own and people helped him the best they could but after 5 minutes of waiting for an ambulance to arrive the pissed meatheads on the metty were shouting and swearing telling those looking after him to put him on the platform and leave him to wait for the ambulance on his own so that they could get home in time to catch the Kebab shop! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47775 Posted July 11, 2006 Author Share Posted July 11, 2006 Another thing from my metro journey yesterday: two lads got on in the scruffiest clothes you've ever seen. It was a pretty warm day yesterday, and yet they had jeans, shirts, wooly jumpers and scabby stained Berghaus jackets on and were sweating like pigs. They were both carrying rucksacks and went to sit down (thankfully not next to me), staggering all the way down the aisle. Straight away they produced cans of lager from their bags and set about drinking them. At 9 in the morning. What a pair of alcoholic Harry Ramps!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Drinking cans in public is charvtastic like. I think it's suppose to be a sign that you da man or something... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 I remember once on the metro this charvtastic lass started giving this French lad grief for no particular reason in front of all her mates, the filthy cow spat right in between his brows, so the lad proceeded to think fuck i've had enough of this, walked over and knocked her spark out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47775 Posted July 11, 2006 Author Share Posted July 11, 2006 I sat on the metro once and there was this gang of charvs sat in a four-ser ("FOUR-SER!" was the cry they let out as they got on the metro ). Anyway there was a bloke in his 50s sat with his back to them and one of the lasses in the group kept pulling bits of chewy out of her mouth and dropping them into this bloke's hair without him noticing. She must have dropped a canny bit in when he caught a glimpse of her reflection in the tunnel. He put his hand to his head, realised what she'd been doing, turned round and shouted "YOU LITTLE BITCH" in a dead high pitched posh voice, and slapped her across the face. She kept trying to look dead tough and pretending it didn't hurt, but she went bright red and pretty much kept her head down for the rest of the journey while her three charv mates pissed themselves laughing at her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Maybe that lass suffers from short term memory loss and the tattoo is to help her remember her parents' names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11128 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 I use the fucker nigh on every day, going to College or Work.. Got my driving test soon so fingers crossed i wont have to for much longer!! 158277[/snapback] just proved my previous point tbh (note to Mods, we need a chav smiley) rocks 158292[/snapback] What's a chav Mr Fish 158353[/snapback] a chav is "Council house and Vulnerable" Charva is an old Romany word for youth either is acceptable and you should admit that in front of everyone I am win Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15921 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 a chav is "Council house and Vulnerable" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 That Julie Burchill programme about 'Chavs' was on last night. JWTBQFH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11128 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 That Julie Burchill programme about 'Chavs' was on last night. JWTBQFH! 158463[/snapback] if ever there was a case for post-natal abortion.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sima Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 That Julie Burchill programme about 'Chavs' was on last night. JWTBQFH! 158463[/snapback] Julie Burchill should be melted tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Very rare i use public transport but i did have the pleasure of paying £1.30 from Walkergate to Byker (2 stops) the other day and was amazed at the previously mentioned scum this electric wonder attracts, I swear it's some sort of magnet for the metal plates in their heads. 158282[/snapback] What the fuck were you doing down my way? My restraining order means you have to keep a mile away from me at all times and Walkergate metro is half a mile from my gaff! I'm calling the busies. 158355[/snapback] The same as i was doing down there nine months ago before you got the restraining order, shagging your lass! P.S the bairns a ringer for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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