Ally 0 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I remember queing outside a pub in town about 6.45am before the Brazil game, was so strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I was at the wedding of one of my friends in Manchester and I can honestly say I've never cringed so much in my life at the best man's speech. To set the scene: this is a BIG Catholic wedding, and I mean big. There must have been 200 people at the reception and they included 2 local priests, some very straight-laced relatives, several old-fashioned grandparents and a lot of very Catholic types (including the bride's parents) The speech was okay to a point - the usual thanks and niceties and then, completely out of the blue came this.. "Well people say that you will go the extra mile for the one you love and in John's case it was several hundred. Let me take you back to a time a year or two... John was working in Plymouth and Emma was at medical school in Manchester. John hadn't seen Emma for a few weeks and he had fallen head-over-heels in love with her but he'd never quite been able to express his true feelings to her. He decided it was about time to put that right and he came to me one night and said that he had a plan. He'd bought an engagement ring and decided to travel up to Manchester to surprise her with it. He really went all out - buying flowers, chocolates and a bottle of champagne aswell. Now the only trouble was that his only mode of transport at the time was his moped, which I'm sure you'll all remember. So he sets off this afternoon to chug up the roads, not really realising just how long it was going to take him. He'd put the ring and all the goodies into his backpack and was really excited about it all knowing she'd be absolutely overwhelmed and delighted! Now I forget just how long it did take him, although I'm sure he could all tell us to the minute! Anyway, it must have been about midnight when he got to her house which she shared with some other students. When he arrived there, absolutely knackered and saddle-sore after his arduous moped journey, he was thrilled to find one of her housemates just coming back from the pub. The flatmate let him in saying that Emma was probably in bed but just to go on through. He stopped outside the door, nervous excitement etched on his face at the thought of the fantastic surprise he had planned. He took the engagement ring out of his bag, took a deep breath, flung the door open and shouted "Surprise!!!" And would you believe it?! There was Emma furiously shagging away with one of the blokes off her course!! How unlucky eh?!!! Anyway, as you can see, it didn't come in the way of true love so I wish you all the best on this special day! CHEERS!! " You could have heard a fucking pin drop.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mags 1 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I was at the wedding of one of my friends in Manchester and I can honestly say I've never cringed so much in my life at the best man's speech. To set the scene: this is a BIG Catholic wedding, and I mean big. There must have been 200 people at the reception and they included 2 local priests, some very straight-laced relatives, several old-fashioned grandparents and a lot of very Catholic types (including the bride's parents) The speech was okay to a point - the usual thanks and niceties and then, completely out of the blue came this.. "Well people say that you will go the extra mile for the one you love and in John's case it was several hundred. Let me take you back to a time a year or two... John was working in Plymouth and Emma was at medical school in Manchester. John hadn't seen Emma for a few weeks and he had fallen head-over-heels in love with her but he'd never quite been able to express his true feelings to her. He decided it was about time to put that right and he came to me one night and said that he had a plan. He'd bought an engagement ring and decided to travel up to Manchester to surprise her with it. He really went all out - buying flowers, chocolates and a bottle of champagne aswell. Now the only trouble was that his only mode of transport at the time was his moped, which I'm sure you'll all remember. So he sets off this afternoon to chug up the roads, not really realising just how long it was going to take him. He'd put the ring and all the goodies into his backpack and was really excited about it all knowing she'd be absolutely overwhelmed and delighted! Now I forget just how long it did take him, although I'm sure he could all tell us to the minute! Anyway, it must have been about midnight when he got to her house which she shared with some other students. When he arrived there, absolutely knackered and saddle-sore after his arduous moped journey, he was thrilled to find one of her housemates just coming back from the pub. The flatmate let him in saying that Emma was probably in bed but just to go on through. He stopped outside the door, nervous excitement etched on his face at the thought of the fantastic surprise he had planned. He took the engagement ring out of his bag, took a deep breath, flung the door open and shouted "Surprise!!!" And would you believe it?! There was Emma furiously shagging away with one of the blokes off her course!! How unlucky eh?!!! Anyway, as you can see, it didn't come in the way of true love so I wish you all the best on this special day! CHEERS!! " You could have heard a fucking pin drop.... 152106[/snapback] Oh. My. God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I was at the wedding of one of my friends in Manchester and I can honestly say I've never cringed so much in my life at the best man's speech. To set the scene: this is a BIG Catholic wedding, and I mean big. There must have been 200 people at the reception and they included 2 local priests, some very straight-laced relatives, several old-fashioned grandparents and a lot of very Catholic types (including the bride's parents) The speech was okay to a point - the usual thanks and niceties and then, completely out of the blue came this.. "Well people say that you will go the extra mile for the one you love and in John's case it was several hundred. Let me take you back to a time a year or two... John was working in Plymouth and Emma was at medical school in Manchester. John hadn't seen Emma for a few weeks and he had fallen head-over-heels in love with her but he'd never quite been able to express his true feelings to her. He decided it was about time to put that right and he came to me one night and said that he had a plan. He'd bought an engagement ring and decided to travel up to Manchester to surprise her with it. He really went all out - buying flowers, chocolates and a bottle of champagne aswell. Now the only trouble was that his only mode of transport at the time was his moped, which I'm sure you'll all remember. So he sets off this afternoon to chug up the roads, not really realising just how long it was going to take him. He'd put the ring and all the goodies into his backpack and was really excited about it all knowing she'd be absolutely overwhelmed and delighted! Now I forget just how long it did take him, although I'm sure he could all tell us to the minute! Anyway, it must have been about midnight when he got to her house which she shared with some other students. When he arrived there, absolutely knackered and saddle-sore after his arduous moped journey, he was thrilled to find one of her housemates just coming back from the pub. The flatmate let him in saying that Emma was probably in bed but just to go on through. He stopped outside the door, nervous excitement etched on his face at the thought of the fantastic surprise he had planned. He took the engagement ring out of his bag, took a deep breath, flung the door open and shouted "Surprise!!!" And would you believe it?! There was Emma furiously shagging away with one of the blokes off her course!! How unlucky eh?!!! Anyway, as you can see, it didn't come in the way of true love so I wish you all the best on this special day! CHEERS!! " You could have heard a fucking pin drop.... 152106[/snapback] Well, I would have laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 21038 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I was at the wedding of one of my friends in Manchester and I can honestly say I've never cringed so much in my life at the best man's speech. To set the scene: this is a BIG Catholic wedding, and I mean big. There must have been 200 people at the reception and they included 2 local priests, some very straight-laced relatives, several old-fashioned grandparents and a lot of very Catholic types (including the bride's parents) The speech was okay to a point - the usual thanks and niceties and then, completely out of the blue came this.. "Well people say that you will go the extra mile for the one you love and in John's case it was several hundred. Let me take you back to a time a year or two... John was working in Plymouth and Emma was at medical school in Manchester. John hadn't seen Emma for a few weeks and he had fallen head-over-heels in love with her but he'd never quite been able to express his true feelings to her. He decided it was about time to put that right and he came to me one night and said that he had a plan. He'd bought an engagement ring and decided to travel up to Manchester to surprise her with it. He really went all out - buying flowers, chocolates and a bottle of champagne aswell. Now the only trouble was that his only mode of transport at the time was his moped, which I'm sure you'll all remember. So he sets off this afternoon to chug up the roads, not really realising just how long it was going to take him. He'd put the ring and all the goodies into his backpack and was really excited about it all knowing she'd be absolutely overwhelmed and delighted! Now I forget just how long it did take him, although I'm sure he could all tell us to the minute! Anyway, it must have been about midnight when he got to her house which she shared with some other students. When he arrived there, absolutely knackered and saddle-sore after his arduous moped journey, he was thrilled to find one of her housemates just coming back from the pub. The flatmate let him in saying that Emma was probably in bed but just to go on through. He stopped outside the door, nervous excitement etched on his face at the thought of the fantastic surprise he had planned. He took the engagement ring out of his bag, took a deep breath, flung the door open and shouted "Surprise!!!" And would you believe it?! There was Emma furiously shagging away with one of the blokes off her course!! How unlucky eh?!!! Anyway, as you can see, it didn't come in the way of true love so I wish you all the best on this special day! CHEERS!! " You could have heard a fucking pin drop.... 152106[/snapback] Well, I would have laughed. 152129[/snapback] Pin drops, insane burst of laughter in the background...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Fucking genius! It's all the better as bride and groom must have been sat there squirming knowing what was coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10659 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 genius that's the kind of best man speech I love... but wouldn't wish on anyone I actuallly liked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 All doctors are slags tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10659 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 All doctors are slags tbh 152140[/snapback] quoted for it's trueness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 6961 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 shed have got a knuckle sandwich off me tbh. He must have been a bit of a desperado to still marry her after that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10659 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 maybe he was up for a little double decker action? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I was at the wedding of one of my friends in Manchester and I can honestly say I've never cringed so much in my life at the best man's speech. To set the scene: this is a BIG Catholic wedding, and I mean big. There must have been 200 people at the reception and they included 2 local priests, some very straight-laced relatives, several old-fashioned grandparents and a lot of very Catholic types (including the bride's parents) The speech was okay to a point - the usual thanks and niceties and then, completely out of the blue came this.. "Well people say that you will go the extra mile for the one you love and in John's case it was several hundred. Let me take you back to a time a year or two... John was working in Plymouth and Emma was at medical school in Manchester. John hadn't seen Emma for a few weeks and he had fallen head-over-heels in love with her but he'd never quite been able to express his true feelings to her. He decided it was about time to put that right and he came to me one night and said that he had a plan. He'd bought an engagement ring and decided to travel up to Manchester to surprise her with it. He really went all out - buying flowers, chocolates and a bottle of champagne aswell. Now the only trouble was that his only mode of transport at the time was his moped, which I'm sure you'll all remember. So he sets off this afternoon to chug up the roads, not really realising just how long it was going to take him. He'd put the ring and all the goodies into his backpack and was really excited about it all knowing she'd be absolutely overwhelmed and delighted! Now I forget just how long it did take him, although I'm sure he could all tell us to the minute! Anyway, it must have been about midnight when he got to her house which she shared with some other students. When he arrived there, absolutely knackered and saddle-sore after his arduous moped journey, he was thrilled to find one of her housemates just coming back from the pub. The flatmate let him in saying that Emma was probably in bed but just to go on through. He stopped outside the door, nervous excitement etched on his face at the thought of the fantastic surprise he had planned. He took the engagement ring out of his bag, took a deep breath, flung the door open and shouted "Surprise!!!" And would you believe it?! There was Emma furiously shagging away with one of the blokes off her course!! How unlucky eh?!!! Anyway, as you can see, it didn't come in the way of true love so I wish you all the best on this special day! CHEERS!! " You could have heard a fucking pin drop.... 152106[/snapback] You associate with this slut Cath? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Lazaru 0 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I was at the wedding of one of my friends in Manchester and I can honestly say I've never cringed so much in my life at the best man's speech. To set the scene: this is a BIG Catholic wedding, and I mean big. There must have been 200 people at the reception and they included 2 local priests, some very straight-laced relatives, several old-fashioned grandparents and a lot of very Catholic types (including the bride's parents) The speech was okay to a point - the usual thanks and niceties and then, completely out of the blue came this.. "Well people say that you will go the extra mile for the one you love and in John's case it was several hundred. Let me take you back to a time a year or two... John was working in Plymouth and Emma was at medical school in Manchester. John hadn't seen Emma for a few weeks and he had fallen head-over-heels in love with her but he'd never quite been able to express his true feelings to her. He decided it was about time to put that right and he came to me one night and said that he had a plan. He'd bought an engagement ring and decided to travel up to Manchester to surprise her with it. He really went all out - buying flowers, chocolates and a bottle of champagne aswell. Now the only trouble was that his only mode of transport at the time was his moped, which I'm sure you'll all remember. So he sets off this afternoon to chug up the roads, not really realising just how long it was going to take him. He'd put the ring and all the goodies into his backpack and was really excited about it all knowing she'd be absolutely overwhelmed and delighted! Now I forget just how long it did take him, although I'm sure he could all tell us to the minute! Anyway, it must have been about midnight when he got to her house which she shared with some other students. When he arrived there, absolutely knackered and saddle-sore after his arduous moped journey, he was thrilled to find one of her housemates just coming back from the pub. The flatmate let him in saying that Emma was probably in bed but just to go on through. He stopped outside the door, nervous excitement etched on his face at the thought of the fantastic surprise he had planned. He took the engagement ring out of his bag, took a deep breath, flung the door open and shouted "Surprise!!!" And would you believe it?! There was Emma furiously shagging away with one of the blokes off her course!! How unlucky eh?!!! Anyway, as you can see, it didn't come in the way of true love so I wish you all the best on this special day! CHEERS!! " You could have heard a fucking pin drop.... 152106[/snapback] Well, I would have laughed. 152129[/snapback] Me too, even if it was on my own! Mind you if the story is true and i was friends with the bloke in question i'd have long advised him against marrying somebody who does that to their partner! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Mighty Hog 498 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Dreading doing mine. Well I'm dreading even writing it. Not sure what the hell to write. Ex's are out of bounds apparently and there's not many drunken stories about him as he's on a tight leash these days. Oh, and guess when the wedding is: August 19th! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I was at the wedding of one of my friends in Manchester and I can honestly say I've never cringed so much in my life at the best man's speech. To set the scene: this is a BIG Catholic wedding, and I mean big. There must have been 200 people at the reception and they included 2 local priests, some very straight-laced relatives, several old-fashioned grandparents and a lot of very Catholic types (including the bride's parents) The speech was okay to a point - the usual thanks and niceties and then, completely out of the blue came this.. "Well people say that you will go the extra mile for the one you love and in John's case it was several hundred. Let me take you back to a time a year or two... John was working in Plymouth and Emma was at medical school in Manchester. John hadn't seen Emma for a few weeks and he had fallen head-over-heels in love with her but he'd never quite been able to express his true feelings to her. He decided it was about time to put that right and he came to me one night and said that he had a plan. He'd bought an engagement ring and decided to travel up to Manchester to surprise her with it. He really went all out - buying flowers, chocolates and a bottle of champagne aswell. Now the only trouble was that his only mode of transport at the time was his moped, which I'm sure you'll all remember. So he sets off this afternoon to chug up the roads, not really realising just how long it was going to take him. He'd put the ring and all the goodies into his backpack and was really excited about it all knowing she'd be absolutely overwhelmed and delighted! Now I forget just how long it did take him, although I'm sure he could all tell us to the minute! Anyway, it must have been about midnight when he got to her house which she shared with some other students. When he arrived there, absolutely knackered and saddle-sore after his arduous moped journey, he was thrilled to find one of her housemates just coming back from the pub. The flatmate let him in saying that Emma was probably in bed but just to go on through. He stopped outside the door, nervous excitement etched on his face at the thought of the fantastic surprise he had planned. He took the engagement ring out of his bag, took a deep breath, flung the door open and shouted "Surprise!!!" And would you believe it?! There was Emma furiously shagging away with one of the blokes off her course!! How unlucky eh?!!! Anyway, as you can see, it didn't come in the way of true love so I wish you all the best on this special day! CHEERS!! " You could have heard a fucking pin drop.... 152106[/snapback] What a corker! I would have pissed myself, as for her i would have just joined in and gave her a good spit roasting, left her face looking like a plasterers radio then told the slag to fuck off, then rode my moped around her front garden 'Quadrophenia style' shouting obscenities and headed off into the sunset Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted July 3, 2006 Author Share Posted July 3, 2006 Cheers everyone. especially Jimbo. Used a couple of them jokes. Went down a treat. Got the best line off me mother - "tell her a man is like a tiled floor, lay him right the first time and you can walk all over him for years!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodgate27 0 Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 I was at the wedding of one of my friends in Manchester and I can honestly say I've never cringed so much in my life at the best man's speech. To set the scene: this is a BIG Catholic wedding, and I mean big. There must have been 200 people at the reception and they included 2 local priests, some very straight-laced relatives, several old-fashioned grandparents and a lot of very Catholic types (including the bride's parents) The speech was okay to a point - the usual thanks and niceties and then, completely out of the blue came this.. "Well people say that you will go the extra mile for the one you love and in John's case it was several hundred. Let me take you back to a time a year or two... John was working in Plymouth and Emma was at medical school in Manchester. John hadn't seen Emma for a few weeks and he had fallen head-over-heels in love with her but he'd never quite been able to express his true feelings to her. He decided it was about time to put that right and he came to me one night and said that he had a plan. He'd bought an engagement ring and decided to travel up to Manchester to surprise her with it. He really went all out - buying flowers, chocolates and a bottle of champagne aswell. Now the only trouble was that his only mode of transport at the time was his moped, which I'm sure you'll all remember. So he sets off this afternoon to chug up the roads, not really realising just how long it was going to take him. He'd put the ring and all the goodies into his backpack and was really excited about it all knowing she'd be absolutely overwhelmed and delighted! Now I forget just how long it did take him, although I'm sure he could all tell us to the minute! Anyway, it must have been about midnight when he got to her house which she shared with some other students. When he arrived there, absolutely knackered and saddle-sore after his arduous moped journey, he was thrilled to find one of her housemates just coming back from the pub. The flatmate let him in saying that Emma was probably in bed but just to go on through. He stopped outside the door, nervous excitement etched on his face at the thought of the fantastic surprise he had planned. He took the engagement ring out of his bag, took a deep breath, flung the door open and shouted "Surprise!!!" And would you believe it?! There was Emma furiously shagging away with one of the blokes off her course!! How unlucky eh?!!! Anyway, as you can see, it didn't come in the way of true love so I wish you all the best on this special day! CHEERS!! " You could have heard a fucking pin drop.... 152106[/snapback] Call me an arse if you want but if something like that happened to one of my mates I'd use it in a best man speech. Absolutely sensational. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21757 Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 (edited) edited. didn't read the whole thread Edited July 3, 2006 by Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15345 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 *bouncy mcbounce* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally 0 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I'd never read that story from Cath, superb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 A ha! And to think I posted on this as well! *steals Jimbo's speech* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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