MTM - JJ

[peasepud 59]

Well here goes my 2nd attempt at standing in for Glasgow Mag.

 

So today we bring you the one, the only Mr JJ, the original top poster from Toontastics days.

 

Real first name: Jody

 

Nickname: Skoda, which came from Primary school (think I was 10 at the time) as when we played football, while I wasn't that bad, I was slower than a dead tortoise. icon_lol.gif

 

Age: 21

 

Occupation: Recently made redundant. Before you start I'm not on the dole. wink.gif

 

Location: Peebles

 

Language(s) spoken? English, but it's a struggle

 

Avatart - why? Ashley Giles, mainly because of the role I play in my cricket team. Left arm orthodox spinner, right handed batsmen. Bit of a rabbit when I bat but my bowling has come on a bit recently. So I tend to get called Ashley when I come to bowl. cool.gif

 

Previous avatarts? for ages I couldn't actually be arsed finding one, but I had the mental Santa one which was cool. George Bush and his hats. Eugene from Big Brother. My "Bambii on Ice" Shola one and a few others that don't spring to mind right now.

 

Tell us when you first joined the boards? When was it and how did you feel as a beginner? I joined the boards in about January 2003 I think it was. Sure it was when we got knocked out of the cup by bloody Wolves. Originally I joined as I saw the link on nufc.com and was originally trying to promote the Scottish Mags. Myself and Steven Carr (no not the player) had come across each other online as we both had the same idea, so I went whoring it around t'internet and ended up enjoying the craic so stuck around.

 

Board highlights? Medina/Beyonce night. Anyone who was there needs no introduction and to those who weren't then you missed out! Lots of other great laughs, but I've always been a fan of the one liners. Judas' one about the stupidest thing he'd done for a bet was that he'd bet 30 pieces of silver that he wouldn't drop his boss in the shit, and Jimbo's recent Gerraway comment that she'd been cocked more times that Davy Crockett's rifle tickled me big style!! Anything that I'm not expecting when the board is slow that makes me piss myself laughing is superb. The Australian World Cup Thread, Hughsie's abortion and many many more.

 

Although to sum up the biggest highlights were the first few board piss ups. Even when I went to Chelsea at the end of last season it was still class to meet the old guard and some new faces aswell. The first few were excellent though for many reasons, and I've made a few good mates from it all.

 

Board lowlights? Funnily enough from reading Boyo's comment to this question it reminded me of the time that me and Jill argued with him for 10 pages about deleting members who had zero posts! Silly when you look back, as Boyo is class. I think what makes me and him alike is that we'll argue when there's no real point in arguing, but all we're doing is trying to make our point heard. Whickhamloyal and his nonsense wasn't great either. To be honest my biggest lowlight though have been arseholes who've ruined it for everyone else by being wankers.

 

Pets? One dog, he's the laziest dog in the world. He can't even be arsed to lie down properly so he just goes where he wants to lie down and just falls. Wonder where he gets it from.......

 

I play a bit like.... Shay Given in goals, Grigoris Georgatos anywhere else.

 

Football heroes? I'll go non-NUFC and say Tony Mowbray. Mowbray is a great battler who never gave up on the field. He has his Hibernian side playing great football, and I was saddened for him when he married his girlfriend about 10 years ago, knowing she was dying. Great man, and even though Hibernian are a major threat to Aberdeen, I wish him all the best.

 

Football villains? Too many obvious ones to mention, but the top 3 NUFC villains for me would be Shola Ameobi, Andreas Andersson and Olivier Bernard. Bernard wasn't a bad player, but he was an arse as far as I'm concerned. He wanted to leave us when we were in the Champions League to play for West Ham, who were hopeless. Finally got away and got what he deserved. Relegation.

 

Best advice given? It's not totally advice per se, but something that always helps me is the serenity prayer. I'm not that religious, but the words mean a lot.

 

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change.

Courage to change the things I can.

And the wisdom to know the difference.

 

Trust me, it's a great help when things aren't going too well.

 

Ideal partner? Someone who's down to earth, trustworthy and good company.

 

Can you cook? I make quality toast. My cups of tea are quality aswell apparently. So good that I can bribe my mate to pay me a pound when I'm feeling like a dickhead. biggrin.gif In fairness though I never so it.

 

Current wheels? Can't drive

 

Biggest influence? In a weird way my father. I don't hate him, but he's the perfect role model for me. Anything he does, I know to make sure I don't end up like that. Role models don't always have to be for the positive.

 

TV programmes? Family Guy is the daddio. Takeshi's Castle is superb also. Normally only watch sports on TV apart from that. Oh, and Big Brother.

 

Burger and chips or fish and chips? Just chips and chips thank you. Fat bastard + vegetarian = plenty chips.

 

Chinese or indian? What do you order? Chinese.

 

Favourite tunes? I'm loving Jerk it Out by Caesar's Palace right now. Quality.

 

Abi Titmuss or Jodi Marsh? Abi.

 

George Clooney or Bradley Pitt? Brad Pitt. My hetrosexual mate fancies Brad Pitt. Or at least he says he's hetro. icon_razz.gif

 

Favourite film? I loved the Green Mile.

 

If I won a million pounds.... I'd probably invest it and lose it all.

 

Age first drunk alcohol? First drink? Can't remember my first drink, but the first time I was pissed was when I was 15.

 

Ever suspended/expelled from school? Why? Expelled in 5th year for just fucking around. Not so much expelled but a kind of "Well, we don't want you back after the summer. You're a nuisance." I'd say I regret it but if I got the chance to do it again I'd probably be the same. School wasn't for me.

 

Favourite insult? Dweeb has made a long awaited comeback recently.

 

Not a lot of people know that......... I'm dyslexic. I'm a recovering alcoholic. November 23rd this year will mark 2 years off the booze if I get there (can't be too cocky!). I had trials with the Mackems as a keeper when I was 12 or 13. I injured my knee when I was 15 to the extent that I couldn't play football on a Sunday anymore, never mind at a decent level. I've recently started shaving my head again to the extent that it's rather smooth. biggrin.gif For a day at least, then it starts coming back in. I once got asked by a mate of a mate if I fancied doing a bit of spotting for the Aberdeen Soccer Casuals (naturally I said no) I did a News of the World advert with Sir Bobby Robson, and later that week did a trophy presentation with Mattias from the Swedish Mage to Alan Shearer.

 

I once ripped the piss Lua-Lua quite badly at a friendly by mistake though! It was a Borders Select against Newcastle in the summer of 2003. I'd been ill with a stomach ulcer for 3 months (you might remember) and had only got back onto the booze the week before. So naturally 4 pints in and I was talking pish. Newcastle won 6-1 and Lua-Lua had been subbed at half time after a local amateur lad call Scott McKenzie had marked him out of the game. Scott is a mate of mine and Lua-Lua turned up at the bar. I went and had some craic with him and a nicer lad you could not meet. So his phone rang and he said "Where are you sitting? I'll come and see you when I've taken this." so while he's away I tell Scott to go up and have a blether. He's too starstruck but wants his autograph. He asks me to do it. So Lua-Lua comes back and Scott disappears all embarrased. I say to him "Can you sign this programme to Scott please?" "Sure yeah no problem!" he says. My next line is "It's for the number 4 who marked you tonight." but in my pissed state I accidently said "It's for the number 4 who marked you out of the game." Oops" Luckily he said "Aye, I couldn't get away from him!" or my chat with Lomana Lua-Lua might not have gone down to well!

 

Anyway after that ramble I thought I'd say a few things. I'm sure there's at least one of of those topics covered in that ramble all of you know at least. wink.gif

 

Most you've ever spent on an item of clothes? No idea. I spent 50 quid on a pair of jeans once, which is probably the most.

 

How many pairs of shoes do you own? 2. One pair of trainers and one pair of work shoes.

 

I'm obsessed with..... football and cricket

 

In 5 years time, I hope to be.... happy

 

Harrrumph and not even a mention for your fave ever flat mate

[The Fish 10849]

microphone headedness not making a come back then sassenach?