Gemmill 47111 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Remember the elastic band Apply too much tension, It snaps, Then it is useless. So humans, do Take care, do not Let this happen to you, Too much stress and tension You too may snap So take a break Have yourself a nap For the sake of your health Meditate and relax Establish that, `Easy does it' approach At all times, moderation And take control Of yourself, as No-one else will, It makes for common sense. Absolutely SHIT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 They're always awful like, as is the rest of the letters page. With the exception of 'Vent Your Spleen' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47111 Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 Have a look here. The old biddys are going MENTAL about the buses. http://icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk/evening...le/haveyoursay/ Listen to the cheek of this young whippersnapper! So what pensioners get free travel so what, we all get old incuding so you Silent Witness so what is your problem here and I'm not near pension age yet, but it comes to us all And in amongst all the talk of buses, Stuart from Newcastle asks: Are Christians so insecure about their own religion that they feel threatened by a piece of theatre? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47111 Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 Apparently the reason the buses are so busy is that there's a bingo session finishes AND a tea dance ending at the same time, so as you can imagine the buses get a bit rowdy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie 0 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 A shag is a great way to relieve stress!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47111 Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 A shag is a great way to relieve stress!! 123003[/snapback] Not on a packed bus though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Live life to full Apr 14 2006 By Anon, The Evening Chronicle Take pleasure, from the wonders of nature, It's all around us, Try to understand, Apologise when in the wrong Make love not war, Jesus fucking wept Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47111 Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 (edited) That's no more than a collection of completely unrelated sentences. No wonder they wanted to remain anon. Edited April 18, 2006 by Gemmill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie 0 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 where the fuck, do you keep on finding those? I haven't laughed so much in ages Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally 0 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 I'm as stressed as they come at the minute, and these poems aren't helping! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47111 Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 where the fuck, do you keep on finding those? I haven't laughed so much in ages 123014[/snapback] http://icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk/eveningchronicle/poems/ Poet Laureate nominees to a man. Ally, if you've got "exam stress" I don't even want to hear about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie 0 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 My exams start next week. Im fucked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Live life to full Apr 14 2006 By Anon, The Evening Chronicle Take pleasure, from the wonders of nature, It's all around us, Try to understand, Apologise when in the wrong Make love not war, Jesus fucking wept 123007[/snapback] Here's the rest of it: Seek out a faithful friend, Replace hate with trust Whenever possible, Make enemies into friends, Think and be kind To other people, And live you life To the full Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47111 Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 Here's one called "No thanks, I don't smoke" While writing this poem, My breathing sounds wheezy, The stuff I cough up, Makes me feel rather queasy. It has to be done For the sake of my health For the people around me And also my wealth Each ciggie I lit made my chest even worse So I made an appointment to see the tab nurse Inhaler and patches and leaflets to read To avoid the Grim Reaper I must ditch the weed I once tried cold turkey But that didn't work After only six days I was going berserk! Two weeks without smoking Nicorettes brought relief But so has the thought Of no more ginger teeth! A healthy white smile With a fresh breath to match I will keep it up With willpower and a patch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally 0 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 where the fuck, do you keep on finding those? I haven't laughed so much in ages 123014[/snapback] http://icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk/eveningchronicle/poems/ Poet Laureate nominees to a man. Ally, if you've got "exam stress" I don't even want to hear about it. 123016[/snapback] Not exam stress, fucking essay stress! Got 3 due a week today, haven't got a clue what i'm writing about, meant to write 3,500 words on this little bad boy: ‘European integration resulted from a series of rational choices made by national leaders’. Discuss with explicit reference to theories of European integration. I'm tearing my fucking hair out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47111 Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 "The tab nurse". Is that a medical accreditation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 A truly terrifying trip Apr 14 2006 I had a little accident when I was a lad, Fell off of my bicycle the pain was oh so bad I must of hit my head somehow as I fell from it As I couldn't recall what had happened no details could I submit The first thing I could remember was being back at home Two neighbours had carried me there, I woke hearing my mum's tone I sobbed most uncontrollably, something was wrong I could tell As when mum hugged to comfort me I released a booming yell So off to casualty we went in my father's car Bumps in the road caused discomfort, this short journey seemed too far The results from the taken X-rays forever did they take When the doctor finally spoke I'd got a collarbone break. I'd also been knocked unconscious as well as this broken bone So I'd be kept in overnight was not allowed to go back home I went into a petrified panic I'd never slept from my mum and dad Mum explained this to the nurses so was permitted to stay with her scared The time in hospital got worse as I became a worry My pupils kept changing in size so off for a brain scan I did hurry I was feeling so weak as food I was not allowed to eat Poor mum must have been worried sick sitting on that bedside seat Minutes seemed like hours and hours seemed like days As we waited for results our surroundings became a distant haze At last good news was given no further damage had I received I was free to go home - hooray at last I became at ease The night of my discharge I still remember after all this time gone by My mum cooked up my then favourite steak and kidney pie By Steve Hookway, Gateshead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Each ciggie I lit made my chest even worseSo I made an appointment to see the tab nurse That is classic, Eminem will be shitting himself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isegrim 10017 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 A truly terrifying trip Apr 14 2006 I had a little accident when I was a lad, Fell off of my bicycle the pain was oh so bad I must of hit my head somehow as I fell from it As I couldn't recall what had happened no details could I submit The first thing I could remember was being back at home Two neighbours had carried me there, I woke hearing my mum's tone I sobbed most uncontrollably, something was wrong I could tell As when mum hugged to comfort me I released a booming yell So off to casualty we went in my father's car Bumps in the road caused discomfort, this short journey seemed too far The results from the taken X-rays forever did they take When the doctor finally spoke I'd got a collarbone break. I'd also been knocked unconscious as well as this broken bone So I'd be kept in overnight was not allowed to go back home I went into a petrified panic I'd never slept from my mum and dad Mum explained this to the nurses so was permitted to stay with her scared The time in hospital got worse as I became a worry My pupils kept changing in size so off for a brain scan I did hurry I was feeling so weak as food I was not allowed to eat Poor mum must have been worried sick sitting on that bedside seat Minutes seemed like hours and hours seemed like days As we waited for results our surroundings became a distant haze At last good news was given no further damage had I received I was free to go home - hooray at last I became at ease The night of my discharge I still remember after all this time gone by My mum cooked up my then favourite steak and kidney pie By Steve Hookway, Gateshead 123023[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47111 Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 The results from the taken X-rays forever did they take When the doctor finally spoke I'd got a collarbone break. Getting the rhymes in with a shoe-horn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 The results from the taken X-rays forever did they take When the doctor finally spoke I'd got a collarbone break. 123023[/snapback] Yoda's sending poems to the chronicle now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie 0 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 i can make up rhymes about any topic off the top of my head. its my party piece Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 The best yet tbh: Golden Years Swimming Club The Golden Oldies Swimming Club is where we go today To meet friends old and new and pass the time of day Swimming and aerobics are the things we do Swimming up and down the pool trying to keep old bones new We have Easter Bonnet bash, with lots of fancy hats Black Forest gateau and lots and lots to eat Must go back next Monday to get rid of all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47111 Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 Fancy hats and fancy cakes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 The best yet tbh: Golden Years Swimming Club The Golden Oldies Swimming Club is where we go today To meet friends old and new and pass the time of day Swimming and aerobics are the things we do Swimming up and down the pool trying to keep old bones new We have Easter Bonnet bash, with lots of fancy hats Black Forest gateau and lots and lots to eat Must go back next Monday to get rid of all that. 123032[/snapback] If they couldn't be arsed to finish it properly why do they think we should read it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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