The Plan

[Craig 6700]

Old as feck, but still raises a smile....

 

In the beginning was the Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

 

And the Assumptions were without Form.

And the Plan was completely without Substance.

And darkness was upon the Face of the workers.

And they spoke amongst themselves, saying:

"It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."

 

And the workers went unto their supervisors and sayeth:

"It is a pail of dung and none may abide by the odor thereof."

The supervisors went unto their managers and sayeth unto:

"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong,

Such that none may abide by it."

 

And the managers went unto their directors and sayeth:

"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide by its strength."

And the directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another:

"It contains that which aids plant growth, and is very stong."

 

The directors went unto the vice-presidents to sayeth unto them:

"It promotes growth and is very powerful."

 

The vice-presidents went unto the president and sayeth to him:

"This new Plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency

of the company, and these areas in particular."

 

The president looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.

And the Plan became policy.

 

"This is how Shit happens"

[catmag 337]

A Prayer for the Stressed

 

Dear Lord..

 

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they pissed me off. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow. Help me to always give 100% at work... 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20 % on Thursday, and 5% on Friday. And help me to remember... when I'm having a really bad day and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 1 to extend my middle finger and tell them to feck off!!