Groundhog 0 Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 (edited) Sometimes when people get hurt its entirely correct. Example1. Mate at work's wife has to wear a wig ( medical condition so worthy of sympathy ). They're on holiday and spend the time by the pool, as you do. Bless her she takes her syrup off to gan have a dip. Puts it back on later . My mate notices a pair of German couples behind, sniggering in a very German way. 1 of the kraut blokes in particular is cracking jokes and gesticullating about the wig thing. His lass susses out straight away that he's angry about something so he tells her it's nowt & he's a bit tired, blah, blah. He lies there getting proper mad, trying to calm himself down with a few swallies then sees said Hun gan to the netty. " Time for a piss" he tells himself. Waits a bit then follows. As soon as he got in he turned & shut the door. German geezer turns round, knob in hand and instantly knows his time's up...........bang........sparkers.....!! My mate calmly walks out gets him & the wife a cocktail and tells her he loves her. ps German don't come out for 15 mins, then they all scarper. Example2 Another mate's wife has an encounter with a road rage bloke giving her total grief to the point where she's in bits. Weeks later they're driving round & she spots him & tells hubby " thats the bloke" etc, etc. He clocks the bloke and says nowt. Weeks later again, he's driving along & sees the same bloke @ the cashpoint. Parks the car gans over, when the bloke turns round......bang.....sparkers.....!! Discuss........or not Edited April 9, 2006 by Groundhog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooBoo 0 Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Sometimes when people get hurt its entirely correct. Example1. Mate at work's wife has to wear a wig ( medical condition so worthy of sympathy ). They're on holiday and spend the time by the pool, as you do. Bless her she takes her syrup off to gan have a dip. Puts it back on later . My mate notices a pair of German couples behind, sniggering in a very German way. 1 of the kraut blokes in particular is cracking jokes and gesticullating about the wig thing. His lass susses out straight away that he's angry about something so he tells her it's nowt & he's a bit tired, blah, blah. He lies there getting proper mad, trying to calm himself down with a few swallies then sees said Hun gan to the netty. " Time for a piss" he tells himself. Waits a bit then follows. As soon as he got in he turned & shut the door. German geezer turns round, knob in hand and instantly knows his time's up...........bang........sparkers.....!! My mate calmly walks out gets him & the wife a cocktail and tells her he loves her. ps German don't come out for 15 mins, then they all scarper. Example2 Another mate's wife has an encounter with a road rage bloke giving her total grief to the point where she's in bits. Weeks later they're driving round & she spots him & tells hubby " thats the bloke" etc, etc. He clocks the bloke and says nowt. Weeks later again, he's driving along & sees the same bloke @ the cashpoint. Parks the car gans over, when the bloke turns round......bang.....sparkers.....!! Discuss........or not 118354[/snapback] Thumping folk is old school tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lukas Ramsauer 0 Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 I have one for you - "I was once on holiday and this english bloke came into the toilets, felt me up and punched me, its ok though years later i decided to ruin him by stopping his football club getting a top manager" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groundhog 0 Posted April 9, 2006 Author Share Posted April 9, 2006 Sometimes when people get hurt its entirely correct. Example1. Mate at work's wife has to wear a wig ( medical condition so worthy of sympathy ). They're on holiday and spend the time by the pool, as you do. Bless her she takes her syrup off to gan have a dip. Puts it back on later . My mate notices a pair of German couples behind, sniggering in a very German way. 1 of the kraut blokes in particular is cracking jokes and gesticullating about the wig thing. His lass susses out straight away that he's angry about something so he tells her it's nowt & he's a bit tired, blah, blah. He lies there getting proper mad, trying to calm himself down with a few swallies then sees said Hun gan to the netty. " Time for a piss" he tells himself. Waits a bit then follows. As soon as he got in he turned & shut the door. German geezer turns round, knob in hand and instantly knows his time's up...........bang........sparkers.....!! My mate calmly walks out gets him & the wife a cocktail and tells her he loves her. ps German don't come out for 15 mins, then they all scarper. Example2 Another mate's wife has an encounter with a road rage bloke giving her total grief to the point where she's in bits. Weeks later they're driving round & she spots him & tells hubby " thats the bloke" etc, etc. He clocks the bloke and says nowt. Weeks later again, he's driving along & sees the same bloke @ the cashpoint. Parks the car gans over, when the bloke turns round......bang.....sparkers.....!! Discuss........or not 118354[/snapback] Thumping folk is old school tbh. 118358[/snapback] I know, of course in a civilised world we should engage in debate to right our wrongs but sometimes, just sometimes.......................................... ......you just have to smack the c**ts. Its a life lesson, you'll learn it someday, but I hope not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 I have one for you - "I was once on holiday and this english bloke came into the toilets, felt me up and punched me, its ok though years later i decided to ruin him by stopping his football club getting a top manager" 118361[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 I have one for you - "I was once on holiday and this english bloke came into the toilets, felt me up and punched me, its ok though years later i decided to ruin him by stopping his football club getting a top manager" 118361[/snapback] Yawn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattM4 0 Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 And then ............bang........sparkers.....!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Cook a sunday roast but use piss instead of water when doing the gravy. Then...*bang*....sparkers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Was on holiday with the lads in the Algarve, one of my mates was wearing white shorts to swim in and we noticed that they went totally see-through in the water. So I positioned myself with my camera for him getting out of the pool one morning, and snapped him in all his glory! So not happy I had this snap at my disposal my mate decided to seek revenge, I was in my room having just come out the shower and was preparing to meet these 2 gormans I'd pulled the night before, my mate stromed in while i'm there in my birthday suit and snaps me with his disposable! Then we went at it.......bang....bang.....starkers!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 (edited) When we were kids me and my mates used to get a load of grief from one of my mates' next door neighbours for playing music too loud from the house while we sat in the garden in the sunshine getting lashed. This neighbours kept a few budgies and when it was nice weather she used to move their cages out into the garden. So one day she put her budgies in the garden then went back indoors. One of my mates jumped over the fence and unlocked the door of the cage, the budgie flew out and into a nearby tree. Perfect position for another of my mates who was a dab-hand with his Black Widow catapult! He got the poor thing first shot and it landed on the neighbours path. We retreated to my mates bedroom to keep toot for when she came out to check on her beloved budgies. Half an hour passed then she made the grim discovery. Fuckin hilarious, wouldn't dream of doing owt like that these days but when your 16 it's funny as fuck! Edited April 10, 2006 by Smooth Operator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 47798 Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 On a similar note....not a revenge story....a mate of mine was staying at a hotel in Spain, and like some of these places do, the hotel had a sort of pet parrot that would sit and squawk in its cage and talk to people as they went past. Anyway, he came home one night mortal and decided in his pissed state, after a brief chat with the parrot, that he needed to set it free. He opened the cage and was swinging it around trying to convince the parrot to get out.....only he accidentally let go, threw it in the pool, and both cage and parrot sunk to the bottom. I shouldn't laugh, but. He didn't even dive in to try and save it. Anyway they had the police in the next day and he was questioned along with most of the people staying at the hotel, but he managed to keep a straight face and got away with parrot murder! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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