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if i was ever unfortunate enough to have this happen, i'm not sure i'd be running to sell the story to the papers :lol: 

 

and she called an ambulance for it. jesus wept

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Emma Phillips, a mother of one from Wallasey, Merseyside, first thought boyfriend Lee had hidden the vibrator under a pillow as a prank.

:lol:

So....she didn't realise she had a vibrating dildo crammed up her turd-cutter?

 

She must have a hoop like a whale sharks mouth.

 

 

 

Also, barbecue tongs :lol:

He's having a laugh there, it's nigh impossible to pick up a sausage with them in normal use, never mind retrieve a Mandingo from up the Tocky Locker.

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[emoji38]

So....she didn't realise she had a vibrating dildo crammed up her turd-cutter?

 

She must have a hoop like a whale sharks mouth.

 

 

 

Also, barbecue tongs [emoji38]

He's having a laugh there, it's nigh impossible to pick up a sausage with them in normal use, never mind retrieve a Mandingo from up the Tocky Locker.

:)

 

Where does "Tocky locker" come from?

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She'll have been paid for the story. Probably not by the Metro, but quite possibly by the assorted women's magazines that live for this stuff.

I know but still. Like Gemmill mentioned previously she might as well give up training to be a teacher now. You probably get about a grand max for selling your story to the likes of Take a Break (or Take a Dump, as my mate calls it).

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I know but still. Like Gemmill mentioned previously she might as well give up training to be a teacher now. You probably get about a grand max for selling your story to the likes of Take a Break (or Take a Dump, as my mate calls it).

A grand for the story, a couple of paid tv appearances to "put her story across". Also, she doesn't strike me as the sharpest knife in the drawer.

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I know but still. Like Gemmill mentioned previously she might as well give up training to be a teacher now. You probably get about a grand max for selling your story to the likes of Take a Break (or Take a Dump, as my mate calls it).

 

apt in this case

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And she's probably done the nation's youth a favour in forfeiting that career path.

 

Unless she was training to be a personal development/sex education/whateverthefuckit'scalledinengland teacher.

The future of English females will be sorely lacking without her backdoor wisdom and tribulations!

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