General Random Conversation..

[The Fish 10856]

the third one is pretty fugly to be brutally honest

 

speaking of Brutal I was watching Bruce Lee on 5 this weekend.. I'd love to see that guy work in a modern movie, with the angles and choreography possible it would be .. unfeasible.

 

no wirework though..

 

 

God help you if I find any wire work.

[Lou 0]

I meant the third one, when I said the second one. I didn't count the first one as being the first one, as she's old news. And that really is a marvellously terrible picture of her too.

 

So the second one (using the Fish technique of counting the first one as being the first one, which I didn't) doesn't seem fantastic.... but yeh, as I said, that last one.... what the hell is that???!!!

 

And anyways, he didn't bring anyone with him. He brought the ex back when she wasn't his ex. He's just a 24(ish?) damned hot multimillionaire racing driver....... it'd be kinda weird if he didnt' have a string of girls, surely??

 

Of course, I'm sure I'm the one that can make him settle down.

 

OH HEY!!!! I just kinda understood the phrase "tie the knot"........ that tends to (or should do!) stop the "string of girls"........ ROPE METAPHORS!!! Fantastic. It all makes sense.

 

Anyways, I love JB. Have I mentioned that yet??

[sammynb 3355]

But Lou he proposed to the ex, Louise Griffiths, only for her to dump him (bad in bed was the rumour allegedly) and now she's hooked up with Bruce Willis! He's damage goods girl and a ho!

[Lou 0]

Sammy, dear, in this thread I frequently find that I don't care about what you have to say.

 

In this case, I'm happy to report that that sentence still stands strong.

 

Incidently, yes, I'm aware that the feeling is often mutual.

 

PS - I still think Craig Bellamy is gods gift. I don't think you're gonna persuade me off Jenson *that* easily......

[sammynb 3355]

Sammy, dear, in this thread I frequently find that I don't care about what you have to say.

 

In this case, I'm happy to report that that sentence still stands strong.

 

Incidently, yes, I'm aware that the feeling is often mutual.

 

PS - I still think Craig Bellamy is gods gift.  I don't think you're gonna persuade me off Jenson *that* easily......

61793[/snapback]

 

That's it Lou, I'm hurt now!

I can't believe you don't care.

I'm only trying to save you from the indignity of falling for a motor racer, unless of course you're happy to be the one he comes home to after a big weekend with the "pit" chicks!

 

As a footballer I have to agree, as a conversationalist and general all round human being I think god may have turned his back on him a while ago.

[Gemmill 44853]

Sammy, dear, in this thread I frequently find that I don't care about what you have to say.

 

In this case, I'm happy to report that that sentence still stands strong.

 

Incidently, yes, I'm aware that the feeling is often mutual.

 

PS - I still think Craig Bellamy is gods gift. I don't think you're gonna persuade me off Jenson *that* easily......

61793[/snapback]

 

God's gift to whom exactly?

 

I reckon you're full of shit about all these conversations you have with famous people. You come out to the pub with us lot and you barely say two words all day, yet we're expected to believe that you are a proper gobshite when faced with celebrities. I'm not having it.

[Lou 0]

I know. I surprise myself too.

[Brock Manson 0]

Hockey gloves for crimbo please Santa

[Meenzer 15524]

Palms chafing? Ask Jimbo for some tips...

[Lou 0]

Gareth of How 2's self portrait...

 

 

Then he pulled the face that he reckons look like that pic, and it was uncanny!!

 

He loved that I made him draw

[The Fish 10856]

Why does he have a Beak, a Plane wing on his right and a Giant's Penis on his left?

 

I'm a bit disappointed the 24hr automated videostore round the corner from mine is broken.. I was going to rent Goodfellas* but because them fangled fancy machines are bust I have to settle for a dvd I already have... and I've watched all of them. Which I suppose is obvious as I'm the owner, but I've watched them all too recently to have a second sitting so soon.

 

I know I could download Goodfellas* and watch it, but that might take too long...

 

I could of course simply go to sleep, but I'm far too pleased with myself for getting my report in ahead of schedule. This of courese means I've got a fortnight or so, with no actual work to do for Uni, but that's better than the Medics in my house who have to memorise the muscles in your arm and the bones in your hand.. they've made up rhymes to help them, but when I was listening it sounds more like they're just reading a couple of pages from the FPA thread.

 

anyway I've wittered on long enough for the kettle to have boiled so I'm going to the kitchen.

 

P.s. I used tot hink I shouldn't keep a blog cos IU'd have nothing to write most days... and yet I fill this thread with enough shit to keep farmers in potatos for years!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Madagascar

[The Fish 10856]

An Email from a very bored friend...

 

 

We know that women need two things, your time and your money, so we could say they are time and money

 

Therefore

women = time x money

 

now we know that time is money (or time= money), so women = money x money

 

ok now we also know that Money is the root of all evil, so money = square root of evil

 

By squaring both sides of the equation,

money squared = evil

Now go back to the 2nd equation women = money x money

 

 

therefore? women = money squared = evil

 

Now a problem with this "proof" occurred to me recently: Since evil is negative, the square root of evil must be imaginary, which would mean that money is imaginary, and therefore, by definition, so is time.

 

Then I realized that, in my life at least, that's pretty much true.

 

I know the first bit is old, but the second bit made me chuckle.

[sammynb 3355]

An Email from a very bored friend...

 

 

We know that women need two things, your time and your money, so we could say they are time and money

 

Therefore

women = time x money

 

now we know that time is money (or time= money), so women = money x money

 

ok now we also know that Money is the root of all evil, so money = square root of evil

 

By squaring both sides of the equation,

money squared = evil

Now go back to the 2nd equation women = money x money

 

 

therefore? women = money squared = evil

 

Now a problem with this "proof" occurred to me recently: Since evil is negative, the square root of evil must be imaginary, which would mean that money is imaginary, and therefore, by definition, so is time.

 

Then I realized that, in my life at least, that's pretty much true.

 

I know the first bit is old, but the second bit made me chuckle.

62306[/snapback]

 

Alternatively:

 

The Accident

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So.... you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God

that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God."

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...."

 

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Women are evil. Don't mess with them.

[The Fish 10856]

don't trust anything that changes the set rules of language at whim.

 

"I'm off to the pub for a few beers, dunno when I'll be back, is that cool?"

-I'm going to go and get quite drunk, come home smelling of kebab and smoke, then try to cop a feel with you in bed-

"Yes"

-=Translation unclear, there follows a sample from the infinite permutations possible=-:

Yes

No

I hate you for taking my leniency for granted

I am truly ok with this and will not be too disgusted with your amorous advances later on

You bastard, you slept with a friend(who I don't really like but I will imply that we are like sisters so as to further your punishment.) five years ago when we were having one of our break up fortnights

I am going to fuck....you.....up

I'm not really listening because some talentless shite is on tv making a million off saps like me who are content to perpetuate reality tv because it keeps my dream of shaking my wobbly arse on tv gaining the love and respect of all the famous people who I try to live my life through.

I'm not really listening because I want an excuse to be mad at you later to cover the fact I'm actually just a stroppy mare

I'm sleeping with your dad and he's better in bed than you

I'm sleeping with your sister and she's better in bed with you

I'm sleeping with the dog

As soon as you leave I'm going to let this fart out, I swear my guts are screwed up tighter than your wallet

You forgot our anniversary again you feckless prick

Did I leave the gas on..... no

The sooner you leave the sooner you come home to me sweety

Yeah that's fine, I'm going onto the internet to talk to people I've more in common with

Jumanji is on later

Shoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoesshoes

Do rednecks really have Rednecks and if not why are they called rednecks

 

-=list incomplete=-

 

[Lou 0]

I really wanted to see Madagascar, but I never did. I remember seeing a trailer for it at the beginning of the Shrek 2 dvd that was SO DAMN FUNNY I had to rewind it and insist my friend came back from the kitchen so that she could appreciate it.

 

I have no idea what happened that was so funny though.

 

Also, I dislike Shrek. A lot. Although I queued for a couple of hours in sweltering heat to go on the Shrek ride thingy at Universal Studios in LA, and (here's the BIG surprise), it was worth it.

 

Good god I have to do my accounting assignment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's in for Friday. *shudder*

[Lou 0]

Fishie, am I right in thinking you're in Leeds?

 

Silky's got gigs on there again this week methinks. www.killforaseat.com

[The Fish 10856]

yeah I'm going to watch him at the Library, £5 entry, lagers pretty cheap and the totty quota is satisfactory for a lecherous old man like me.

 

it's always been a career I'd love to have the ability to do well. There's nowt better than making people laugh

 

well... making people from mud and clay like god did... that's be pretty sweet, but I think he cheated a bit with women, it's easy to make lumps and bumps with clay, much harder to make a square shaped bloke

 

and yes before people ask I do hang around with the Mr Men.

 

except mr Tickle, he has a restraining order and a curfew

[Lou 0]

it's always been a career I'd love to have the ability to do well. There's nowt better than making people laugh

62501[/snapback]

100% agreed

 

Say hi to Silky for me. Or, alternatively, don't. Both work. Do enjoy though. He's back up here at the Hyena in a week or so, I'll have to try and persuade some friends to come with. It's sucky having to go alone.

[The Fish 10856]

I think he'd be confused if I said "Hey, Lou says hi"

I think he'd probably look at me as if I was just caught rummaging through his trash sporting an erection

[Brock Manson 0]

Was looking at potential unies today and came up with a classic:

 

"Hey is this Queens in Belfast?"

"No this is Fife"

"...fuck"

 

...probably had to be there

[Lou 0]

I think he'd be confused if I said "Hey, Lou says hi"

I think he'd probably look at me as if I was just caught rummaging through his trash sporting an erection

62536[/snapback]

If you didn't do it so often, maybe he wouldn't look atcha like that.

 

Maybe if you said Lou from Newcastle, to narrow it slightly, he'd be less confused. He'd probably still look atcha like that, but he'd be less confused.

[Isegrim 9772]

I think he'd be confused if I said "Hey, Lou says hi"

I think he'd probably look at me as if I was just caught rummaging through his trash sporting an erection

62536[/snapback]

If you didn't do it so often, maybe he wouldn't look atcha like that.

 

Maybe if you said Lou from Newcastle, to narrow it slightly, he'd be less confused. He'd probably still look atcha like that, but he'd be less confused.

62549[/snapback]

 

No, it that case he would look terrified...

[Lou 0]

I'm not that bad

[Isegrim 9772]

I'm not that bad

62551[/snapback]

 

No, you are just weird ... in a ... err .... positive way ... err ... YAY.

[Lou 0]