catmag 336 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 My mam and dads cat brought my dad a live frog once and dropped it at dad's feet. He thought it was dead til he bent down to pick it up and it did a giant hop. My dad nearly shit himself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14011 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Cat, what is the origin of your signature? It has puzzled me for years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 My mam and dads cat brought my dad a live frog once and dropped it at dad's feet. He thought it was dead til he bent down to pick it up and it did a giant hop. My dad nearly shit himself Had that a while ago. Although it was dead, but I just hovered around it and prodded it with kitchen tongs for about 10 minutes to make sure. Also, the most horrendous noise I've ever heard is a frog squeal. Sounds like a Xenomorph. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42190 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 SportsDirect.com UK's number one.... Good News. Dive into our 'back 2 skool' mega sale where we have SONDICO football boots and formal KANGOL footwear from as little as £10. Hurry whilst stock lasts *Subject to availability* Can we give this cunt his Mackem badge now please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Cat, what is the origin of your signature? It has puzzled me for years! When I was pregnant we decided not to find out what sex the baby was. With me doing anaesthetics at work, I would do caesarians a lot and would randomly text names to Marc when we had new babies to see if he liked the names or not. This particular day the mam and dad had chosen the name 'Charlotte' for their little girl so I just sent a text out of the blue late one night that said "What about Charlotte?" I think he'd had a couple of beers, was watching the footy and obviously didn't have a clue what I was talking about and the text I got in reply said "Do you mean shallots? They're like little onions. Other than that I've no idea what you mean babe..." It just amused me at the time, although it's now completely out of date Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 My mam and dads cat brought my dad a live frog once and dropped it at dad's feet. He thought it was dead til he bent down to pick it up and it did a giant hop. My dad nearly shit himself Had that a while ago. Although it was dead, but I just hovered around it and prodded it with kitchen tongs for about 10 minutes to make sure. Also, the most horrendous noise I've ever heard is a frog squeal. Sounds like a Xenomorph. I don't like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42190 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14011 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Cat, what is the origin of your signature? It has puzzled me for years! When I was pregnant we decided not to find out what sex the baby was. With me doing anaesthetics at work, I would do caesarians a lot and would randomly text names to Marc when we had new babies to see if he liked the names or not. This particular day the mam and dad had chosen the name 'Charlotte' for their little girl so I just sent a text out of the blue late one night that said "What about Charlotte?" I think he'd had a couple of beers, was watching the footy and obviously didn't have a clue what I was talking about and the text I got in reply said "Do you mean shallots? They're like little onions. Other than that I've no idea what you mean babe..." It just amused me at the time, although it's now completely out of date PSML! Class! B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 My mam and dads cat brought my dad a live frog once and dropped it at dad's feet. He thought it was dead til he bent down to pick it up and it did a giant hop. My dad nearly shit himself Had that a while ago. Although it was dead, but I just hovered around it and prodded it with kitchen tongs for about 10 minutes to make sure. Also, the most horrendous noise I've ever heard is a frog squeal. Sounds like a Xenomorph. that sounds like a baby or a cat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10814 Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 My mam and dads cat brought my dad a live frog once and dropped it at dad's feet. He thought it was dead til he bent down to pick it up and it did a giant hop. My dad nearly shit himself Had that a while ago. Although it was dead, but I just hovered around it and prodded it with kitchen tongs for about 10 minutes to make sure. Also, the most horrendous noise I've ever heard is a frog squeal. Sounds like a Xenomorph. that sounds like a baby or a cat The fuck are you doing to your babies and your cats? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2204 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Here we go Bloody September and right on time we've had FOUR huge garden spiders in already. And of course I've been the one to find ALL of them! I nearly fell down the stairs yesterday to avoid touching one with my sandals on. Its like the house of horrors here I have a massive phobia so I mean it when I say my life is a misery right now Have the conkers starting falling off the trees yet? Apparantely Spiders don't like the smell of conkers. I've even ordered some expensive Spiderex horse chestnut spider repellent spray. I hope it arrives tomorrow. And I thought I was one step ahead of the game by ordering early, but those spiders knew and caught me out Why don't you just use the hoover them up with the extension thingy (with no fitting on the end)? You'll find they make a very satisfying 'thock' noise as they hurtle to their deaths, and you can do it from a distance. I used to pick up spiders and chuck 'em out the window (because I'm nails) but my missus would hoover the buggers to death if I wasn't in......which is just as well as I'm not sure I'd have survived the shock of seeing her with a hoover in her hand...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 My mam and dads cat brought my dad a live frog once and dropped it at dad's feet. He thought it was dead til he bent down to pick it up and it did a giant hop. My dad nearly shit himself Had that a while ago. Although it was dead, but I just hovered around it and prodded it with kitchen tongs for about 10 minutes to make sure. Also, the most horrendous noise I've ever heard is a frog squeal. Sounds like a Xenomorph. that sounds like a baby or a cat The fuck are you doing to your babies and your cats? Tbh I did have Iron Maiden going on in my ears at the same time, I will listen again in a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Here we go Bloody September and right on time we've had FOUR huge garden spiders in already. And of course I've been the one to find ALL of them! I nearly fell down the stairs yesterday to avoid touching one with my sandals on. Its like the house of horrors here I have a massive phobia so I mean it when I say my life is a misery right now Have the conkers starting falling off the trees yet? Apparantely Spiders don't like the smell of conkers. I've even ordered some expensive Spiderex horse chestnut spider repellent spray. I hope it arrives tomorrow. And I thought I was one step ahead of the game by ordering early, but those spiders knew and caught me out Why don't you just use the hoover them up with the extension thingy (with no fitting on the end)? You'll find they make a very satisfying 'thock' noise as they hurtle to their deaths, and you can do it from a distance. I used to pick up spiders and chuck 'em out the window (because I'm nails) but my missus would hoover the buggers to death if I wasn't in......which is just as well as I'm not sure I'd have survived the shock of seeing her with a hoover in her hand...... ...... Hubby keeps telling me to hoover them up. But I am just in too much in a state when i see a those huge ones (spiders) Also I have a Dyson pull along hoover where you can see inside whizzing around, and I have this theory that those really big spiders are strong and would survive being sucked up the pipe and then live on the dust and bugs in the cylinder. OR I'd see it wriggling around in there I am getting the shivers just thinking of it. I'm pathetic I know. I'd rather deal with a rat in the house. That wouldnt bother me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 These fellas are alreet, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 These fellas are alreet, They look like they have sunnies on! I'd still freak if I saw one though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 These fellas are alreet, They look like they have sunnies on! I'd still freak if I saw one though. My lass made me catch a huntsman spider and remove it from the rainforest hut we were staying in in Oz. Fucking nails me like. Lucky I was half-cut or I'd have been even more scared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McFaul 35 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Going to "The Welly" tomorrow night at Riding Mill, probably is my favourite pub in the North East now, been loads of times this year since spring. Perfect place to take your lass, or a family occasion, nice and chilled, beautifully decorated the foods fantastic, if you haven't been go honestly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 These fellas are alreet, They look like they have sunnies on! I'd still freak if I saw one though. My lass made me catch a huntsman spider and remove it from the rainforest hut we were staying in in Oz. Fucking nails me like. Lucky I was half-cut or I'd have been even more scared. Anyone who can get rid of a spider for me is my hero!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Dont quite know how to tell this story. I was taking the train from Paris to Bordeaux in August with the family and we got talking to 2 blokes who were sitting across the train from our table. One of them was in his 60s, immaculately dressed (in a North American way), french-canadian and the other was youngish, flip-flops, bearded, cool trousers etc. Anyway, i was having a quick tab before the train left and these two dudes get on and i overhear the word 'plutonium' in their conversation. Not a word you hear everyday on public transport so it caught my attention. Anyway, when i got back on the train they were talking to our lass and cooing over the little un (who is cute as a button). The young lad is obviously a bit of a 'crazeee' character as he had little children's toys in his bags which he gave to C. All fine and well but a bit odd because they were both really chatty and basically really nice but full on. We chatted for the whole 3 hours about all sorts but the conversation veered towards ancient European history and the young lad offered to send me a book. More of which in a bit. So, being a nebby get, i'd picked up pretty much straightaway that they were on their way to do a deal for a load of Lithium with a supplier in the south. I was asking about their backgrounds and providing mine and worked out that the older Canadian was a raw materials dealer and that the younger lad (i say young, i know he is 42) was some sort of consultant with a security background. They were both really interesting and friendly and we were all getting on so well, other passengers began to complain about the noise (fucking moody frogs). We switched into English when they realised thats where i was from which was then i first noticed Pierre's (thats the younger one) has an Israeli accent. Hmm. Then came the moment which many of you will think 'wtf?'. We'd been discussing politics and history (and it was evident both were very well connected and educated) and Pierre offered to send me a book and to give him my address. I checked with our lass and said that would be great and wrote it down. Now, at this point they could have been anyone but i'm thinking i've seen that con show on BBC3 and it didnt seem worth the train fares and charade just to get an address of a potentially empty flat in the capital. So i gave him it. He gave me his card, i checked him out online and he was who he seemed to be. The bit that made me curious though was when Pierre went off to get sandwiches, the old Canadian lad says very matter of factly 'he's ex secret service and was in the anti-terrorist branch'. Now, i was sceptical as you would think that that sort of person wouldnt reveal this sort of information. Wrong! So, we get back from holiday last week and lo and behold the flat is fine and there is a note from the post office of a package delivered a couple of days after that journey. Because its been nearly 3 weeks, by the time our lass pops down on weds, its been returned to sender. So last night i emailed him to say thanks but didnt get it etc. Then i went online and had a look at his background again. To my very large surprise there was an article on him on google.fr news from yesterday. He is ex secret service and he is involved in one of the big scandals going on with a Franco-Lebanese businessman called Ziad Takieddine who has close ties to the President. Mediapart.fr have been investigating the relationship between Sarkozy and Takieddine and on their website yesterday revealed that Pierre had threatened to kill the journalist. His profile is described as ex-secret service and industrial fixer. So, in the middle of all this, yours truly here has sent him an email last night thanking him for the 'package' that 'i didnt manage to pick up' and asking to arrange a 'meet up' some time. Shit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 (edited) You're dead, basically Edited September 2, 2011 by alex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 I'd be lying if i said the motivation to write that post wasnt a case of trying to provide background evidence to my innocence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 19991 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 HOLY SHIT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42190 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Chez has walked into Ronin. Fucking Hell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4711 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Bloody Hell Chez B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 19991 Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Anyways Chez, its been nice knowing you fella. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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