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Scottish Mag

By Scottish Mag,
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Renton
Renton

An update. I feel so fortunate. Back at home with the family, had a very long and frank discussion with Mrs Rents. She'll continue supporting me as long as I don't drink, which is obviously fair enoug

Alex
Alex

Had a couple a nights away in Keswick, got back yesterday morning. As is often the case I usually wake up at daft o’clock when I’m not at home in my own bed. Preoccupied with thoughts of today’s match

trophyshy
trophyshy

Last night I was sitting in the lounge minding my own business after the kids were put to bed.  I had the big light on.  Wor lass walked into the room and turned the big light off, fuck knows why.   S

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Howmanheyman

Howmanheyman 36556

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, LongTimeAdmirer said:

this dickhead that looks jsut like the chook started farking working at the same place as me today,

 

couldnt stop giving him the Angry Season 9 GIF by Shameless

 

 

then he winked at me🤦‍♀️, dumbass probably thinks i like him, fuck

 

 

 

My MiL reminds me of Steve Bruce for some weird/vague reason but I don't hold it against her.

 

Be better LTA. :good:

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Dazzler

Dazzler 11755

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

My MiL reminds me of Steve Bruce for some weird/vague reason (who was no farken John Carver and this winds me up for reasons unknown) but all I do is criticise her every move and question her motives for literally everything on the internet despite no one else giving a shit. Crikey and bloody oath.

 

 

Be better LTA. :good:

 

1 hour ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

LTAdMP 

 

Properly LTAdYP

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Monkeys Fist

Monkeys Fist 45126

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Sonatine said:

Captain Tom’s family personally benefited from charity they founded, report finds

 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/nov/21/captain-tom-family-personally-benefited-from-charity-they-founded-report-finds?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=bluesky&CMP=bsky_gu

 

Shocked GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

                           Evergreen
    Shrub        Shrub        Shrub      Shrub

 

                           Water Feature

 

      Hardy Annual    Statue    Raised Bed

 

                   Fire Pit 

                                        Pergola

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Toonpack

Toonpack 11347

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

                           Evergreen
    Shrub        Shrub        Shrub      Shrub

 

                           Water Feature

 

      Hardy Annual    Statue    Raised Bed

 

                   Fire Pit 

                                        Pergola

 

Bet it turns out the cunt wasn't even a Captain and he was only a privet

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The Fish

The Fish 11313

Posted
Posted

Was carrying the little'un to the pram on the drive, my ankle gave way and I and just fucking earthsong-knee-dropped onto the concrete off the bottom step. Knees are fucked. :lol: 

 

 

 

The wife called me a dickhead, the baby thought it was a right laugh, hastily deleted the scene from the Ring doorbell. 

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Howmanheyman

Howmanheyman 36556

Posted
Posted
33 minutes ago, The Fish said:

Was carrying the little'un to the pram on the drive, my ankle gave way and I and just fucking earthsong-knee-dropped onto the concrete off the bottom step. Knees are fucked. :lol: 

 

 

 

The wife called me a dickhead, the baby thought it was a right laugh, hastily deleted the scene from the Ring doorbell. 

 

Fish: "Aaaaarghhhh! Aaaaarghhhh!!"

 

Mrs Fish: "Are you alright?"

 

Fish: Aaaaarghhhh!!..... Aaaaarghhhh!!......The pain!!!!.......Aaaaarghhhh!!!!...... I'll tell you in a minute darling, I'm just hastily deleting the scene from our poncey ring bell......Aaaaarghhhh!! ...... Aaaaarghhhh!!...... Nearly done it.......Aaaaarghhhh!! Aaaaarghhhh!!.....there you go...... Deleted....... Aaaaarghhhh!!!!"

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Renton

Renton 23625

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

Fish: "Aaaaarghhhh! Aaaaarghhhh!!"

 

Mrs Fish: "Are you alright?"

 

Fish: Aaaaarghhhh!!..... Aaaaarghhhh!!......The pain!!!!.......Aaaaarghhhh!!!!...... I'll tell you in a minute darling, I'm just hastily deleting the scene from our poncey ring bell......Aaaaarghhhh!! ...... Aaaaarghhhh!!...... Nearly done it.......Aaaaarghhhh!! Aaaaarghhhh!!.....there you go...... Deleted....... Aaaaarghhhh!!!!"

 

" Aarrrghhhh! The pain, the fucking pain. Aarrrghhhh! Aarrrghhhh! Must.... Aarrrghhhh!... Must... Just one minute! Aarrrghhhh! Must now get this little funny anecdote posted on Toontastic. Aarrrghhhh!..... "

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Howmanheyman

Howmanheyman 36556

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, ewerk said:

All while doing the Steven Taylor fall to his knees in slow motion.

 

The fish nearly into the house after the accident, nearly, so close but couldn't quite get over the threshold before the agony finally proved too much.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tenor.gif?itemid=3397185

"I..... I can't make it darling.....aaaarrrghhhh!!!...

..... delete the ring bell video and the money's in the biscuit tin......aaaarrrgghhhhh!! Farewell my love!"

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Alex

Alex 36695

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, The Fish said:

Was carrying the little'un to the pram on the drive, my ankle gave way and I and just fucking earthsong-knee-dropped onto the concrete off the bottom step. Knees are fucked. :lol: 

 

 

 

The wife called me a dickhead, the baby thought it was a right laugh, hastily deleted the scene from the Ring doorbell. 

U ok, hun? 

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Renton

Renton 23625

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

The fish nearly into the house after the accident, nearly, so close but couldn't quite get over the threshold before the agony finally proved too much.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tenor.gif?itemid=3397185

"I..... I can't make it darling.....aaaarrrghhhh!!!...

..... delete the ring bell video and the money's in the biscuit tin......aaaarrrgghhhhh!! Farewell my love!"

 

"My love" [weak voice, croak] "My sweet, sweet love, promise me one thing?" 

 

"Ffs, yes Dave?" [derisive sigh] 

 

"Before I pass into the unknown, arghhhh, will you do one thing for me?" 

 

"Ffs, what, I've got aerobics in half an hour" 

 

" Will you press that button on my phone for me......." Last breath, fades to black. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Screenshot_20241121_181410_Chrome.jpg.b898fd3689f19ae891169fdec0700949.jpg

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Toonpack

Toonpack 11347

Posted
Posted
39 minutes ago, Isegrim said:

I have been staying at home for over a week now with torn muscle in my right calf. It’s actually annoying as fuck and I am thinking of changing my name to Elena or Kieron.

House arrest, how very Gestapo

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