General Random Conversation..

[Tom 14011]

I was always bad for it but I think the pandemic fucked my relationship with it. 
 

At the moment I’m arriving at a lot of free bars, getting riders and stuff and it’s just not sustainable. I can’t do it 

[Kid Dynamite 7031]

Some of us were visionaries, clearly 

 

[strawb 4268]

Good luck Tom

[strawb 4268]

And anyone else thinking about it/doing it

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

I used to be an proper beer monster. 

 

Realised one day what an absolute shit show it is, and, whilst I still enjoy a drink, it’s very much in the sensible bracket now.

 

Proper Two Pint Percy. 
 

Don’t miss it, at all. 

[Tom 14011]

Ultimately I’ve made the decision to be a musician rather than a drinker, that was what was on the table basically.

 

 

[Blastronaut 1333]

46 minutes ago, Tom said:

Ultimately I’ve made the decision to be a musician rather than a drinker, that was what was on the table basically.

 

 

 

Good on you Tom. A (debatably) wise man once said alcohol can be a good servant but is a terrible master. 

 

My drinking hit a higher gear when I stopped smoking weed and then ramped up further during the pandemic lockdown. Toned it down a little since quitting the ciggies but it's still probably excessive. That said, it's been a good seven or eight years since I was so pissed I did something incredibly stupid and out of character.

 

On that note, since nobody else has asked: what the fuck did you do?

[Tom 14011]

I put my Les Paul through the walls of Jack white’s venue. 
 

jokes  
 

 

I didn’t actually do anything bizarrely, but we played a perfect show and I had one of the best nights of my life. I upset the other members of my band cause i was paralytic after the show, they were worried about the optics. 
 

So it came to a head…and ultimately I had to do some digging and realise I’m in the wrong. We’ve got about 30 more gigs this year…and they’ll all be free bars…am I gonna get mortal every time? 
 

I can’t just have one. So I best have none,

[Blastronaut 1333]

Thats fair. Makes sense about the optics. All round a wise decision whatever the reason too.

 

Was only joking with the "fuck, what have you done?". Parroting my neighbours shite patter that last time I got home carrying flowers. 

[Tom 14011]

Ultimately we want to do this as a job and we got invited to my favourite record label to play a show, it’s also my sisters favourite growing up & owned by one of her idols. 
 

She plays bass in the group, said she couldn’t enjoy her night because she was worried about me and that’s absolutely rock bottom for me. It absolutely broke me. 

[Andrew 4770]

You're making the right call Tom, difficult as it will be to enact I'm sure you've got it in you!

I haven't been properly drunk since a bit before the pandemic, couple of nuclear level hangovers stuck me firmly down on the 'not worth the grief' side and I've not looked back.

 

Same boat as MF from the looks of it, have a couple and I'm done.

[Meenzer 15538]

Good man, Tom. You've got a heck of an opportunity in your hands and it'd be a real shame to blow it over this kind of thing. You know where to find me if you're having a wobble and want to chat.

 

But aye, the TT support group is pretty well established by now.

[Dr Gloom 21924]

4 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

I used to be an proper beer monster. 

 

Realised one day what an absolute shit show it is, and, whilst I still enjoy a drink, it’s very much in the sensible bracket now.

 

Proper Two Pint Percy. 
 

Don’t miss it, at all. 

Takes some discipline to learn when to stop. How did you learn control?

[Blastronaut 1333]

 

5 hours ago, Kid Dynamite said:

Some of us were visionaries, clearly 

 

 

Oh good god, I can't stand Embrace. If I ever jump on the wagon and they're the soundtrack I'm jumping straight back off, even in moving traffic. 

[Dr Gloom 21924]

Good luck with the band Tom. Sounds exciting. You got any links to your live shows?

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

30 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

Takes some discipline to learn when to stop. How did you learn control?

For me it’s not so much a matter of control as saying to myself, after a couple of drinks, do I need another? 
More often than not, the answer is “no, you’ve had enough to enjoy it.”
 

I was very much, like you said earlier, of the attitude that if a bottle of wine was opened, the cork went in the bin 

Now, a couple of glasses and enjoy the buzz.

Contrary to what most have said on here, I found the lockdown was a great help in cutting right down. 
Spending so much time with the family I couldn’t be getting befuddled all the time,

 

All that being said, cooking a Sunday lunch I can still turn in to Keith Floyd and cane a bottle or two, but even then I stop before the messiness kicks in. 

[RobinRobin 11282]

5 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

Takes some discipline to learn when to stop. How did you learn control?

Took up another hobby once the licence came through.  Can't be too careful with forensic evidence. 

[Ayatollah Hermione 13873]

My relationship with drinking is firmly in the “if I have a big session on the horizon, I’m fully worried about the morning after” category which is probably a sign I should limit those. I have anyway like. Considering how I drank 5/6 years ago, it’s nowt like that. Meeting my lass seemed to help so Tom have you considered that and stripping what remains of the fun out of your life?

 

Good luck with it, brother. It can’t be easy when 95% of social events revolve around having a few pints, especially where men are involved 

Edited June 16, 2023 by Ayatollah Hermione

[Monkeys Fist 42459]

2 hours ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

stripping what remains of the fun out of your life

[wykikitoon 20165]

18 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

i still firmly believe alcohol is the worst drug out there. mainly because it's omnipresent and socially acceptable pretty much everywhere. there's no escape from it and most people don't judge you for getting shitfaced.

 

i have a weird love-hate relationship with the stuff and have also flirted with the idea of giving it up. 

 

i love a drink so much that one pretty much always turns into a pissup. even when it's just the wife and i sat home watching telly on a friday night. she's fine with a couple of glasses of wine, i'll sink a bottle then a few drams after she goes to bed. 

 

hate it enough to regularly go a week or more without touching the stuff. 

 

so i'm not an alcoholic in the sense that i have a physical dependency, but i definitely have an unhealthy relationship with it, find it quite a self destructive drug and frequently ask myself if life would be better without it. 

 

to anyone on here who has given up, does this sound like you? 

 

Just look at British TV.  All the soaps revolve around pubs.  Then you have stuff like Men Behaving Badly etc.  All about getting smashed.

 

Then you have Grealish lauded about getting wankered for 3 days.

 

@Tomas everyone has said, I hope you the best.  You'll get there, that first step is the biggest and you've done that.

[Gemmill 44900]

Aye good luck Tom.

 

I'm blessed to suffer from completely brutal hangovers off even a small amount of booze, which means that drinking any more than 2 for me is categorically not worth it.

 

Worked this out when I was 25, living in San Francisco, and spending all weekend indoors cos Friday nights killed me for 2 full days.

 

You / your mates get used to it eventually, although if they're owt like mine they'll be complete fucking bellends about it for years.
 

[Renton 21627]

18 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

i still firmly believe alcohol is the worst drug out there. mainly because it's omnipresent and socially acceptable pretty much everywhere. there's no escape from it and most people don't judge you for getting shitfaced.

 

i have a weird love-hate relationship with the stuff and have also flirted with the idea of giving it up. 

 

i love a drink so much that one pretty much always turns into a pissup. even when it's just the wife and i sat home watching telly on a friday night. she's fine with a couple of glasses of wine, i'll sink a bottle then a few drams after she goes to bed. 

 

hate it enough to regularly go a week or more without touching the stuff. 

 

so i'm not an alcoholic in the sense that i have a physical dependency, but i definitely have an unhealthy relationship with it, find it quite a self destructive drug and frequently ask myself if life would be better without it. 

 

to anyone on here who has given up, does this sound like you? 

 

This sounds like me a while back. As you know and I certainly don't want to revisit, things came to a head for me last summer but I think it has turned out for me alcohol was more the symptom, not the cause. Head absolutely fucked by a combination of life events and terrible mismanagement of anti-depresssants, and the resultant alochol withdrawal nearly killed me. But my relationship with alcohol was already unhealthy which was a huge factor for what happened.

Since then I gave up completely for 6 months, including totally in "high risk" situations like holidays and flights abroad, christmas, work events etc. Completely broke my relationship with the drug and in the mean time got the all clear no physical damage was done, liver is healthy etc. 

Now I occasionally partake socially, like MF does. I enjoy the odd beer garden drink in the sun, the odd glass of wine with a meal out. Never have a desire to get drunk, never suffer a significant hang over. I don't obsess about not drinking either which I did when I was totally abstinent. I'm happy driving to social events so I can't drink, or I'm happy letting someone else do it and have a couple. I can navigate free bars easily enough (a lot of this at my work). It's lost any hold over me it has but I admit deep down it's the knowledge of what happened to me that is a huge deterrent. Any of the old feeling and habits come back in my head, I am stopping completely again.

One thing that has really helped is that I don't drink at all in the house at all. Drinking at home whilst you're watching TV or whatever is just pointless, like smoking tobacco. Ask yourself what are you getting from it? Is it worth the money, the calories, falling asleep on the sofa, forgetting plot lines in films or parts of the match, the groginess the next day? For me it isn't, and I'm happier for it. So my advice gloom is maybe try to cut out the drinking which isn't directly sociable. Frankly it's not a healthy habit and there's a risk it could escalate. I think you know this otherwise you wouldn't have posted. 

And good luck Tom. I would really recommend a period of complete abstinence and see how you go. Set yourself a target and when you reach it reappraise. Reach out for all the help you can whilst doing this. You've recognised you've got issues, you don't need to hit rock bottom which is kind of inevitable trajectory for many of us. Act now. 

[Dr Gloom 21924]

18 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

This sounds like me a while back. As you know and I certainly don't want to revisit, things came to a head for me last summer but I think it has turned out for me alcohol was more the symptom, not the cause. Head absolutely fucked by a combination of life events and terrible mismanagement of anti-depresssants, and the resultant alochol withdrawal nearly killed me. But my relationship with alcohol was already unhealthy which was a huge factor for what happened.

Since then I gave up completely for 6 months, including totally in "high risk" situations like holidays and flights abroad, christmas, work events etc. Completely broke my relationship with the drug and in the mean time got the all clear no physical damage was done, liver is healthy etc. 

Now I occasionally partake socially, like MF does. I enjoy the odd beer garden drink in the sun, the odd glass of wine with a meal out. Never have a desire to get drunk, never suffer a significant hang over. I don't obsess about not drinking either which I did when I was totally abstinent. I'm happy driving to social events so I can't drink, or I'm happy letting someone else do it and have a couple. I can navigate free bars easily enough (a lot of this at my work). It's lost any hold over me it has but I admit deep down it's the knowledge of what happened to me that is a huge deterrent. Any of the old feeling and habits come back in my head, I am stopping completely again.

One thing that has really helped is that I don't drink at all in the house at all. Drinking at home whilst you're watching TV or whatever is just pointless, like smoking tobacco. Ask yourself what are you getting from it? Is it worth the money, the calories, falling asleep on the sofa, forgetting plot lines in films or parts of the match, the groginess the next day? For me it isn't, and I'm happier for it. So my advice gloom is maybe try to cut out the drinking which isn't directly sociable. Frankly it's not a healthy habit and there's a risk it could escalate. I think you know this otherwise you wouldn't have posted. 

And good luck Tom. I would really recommend a period of complete abstinence and see how you go. Set yourself a target and when you reach it reappraise. Reach out for all the help you can whilst doing this. You've recognised you've got issues, you don't need to hit rock bottom which is kind of inevitable trajectory for many of us. Act now. 

 

completely agree about the pointless midweek drinking. i regularly go sunday-thursday without touching a drop. last night was a rare exception. shared a bottle and a half of wine with the wife, sat in the garden (i blame the heatwave), then forced myself to stop just as i was getting the taste for it. still regretted it this morning - no hangover or owt but i just never sleep as well if i've been drinking. 

[Alex 35095]

This country has a fucking terrible relationship with alcohol like. I’m not really sure how you fix it either. In real terms it must be cheaper and more available now than at any point in my life. I was in the supermarket the other day. With Father’s Day coming up I usually get my dad a few beers amongst other things. He doesn’t really drink much but likes the occasional ale. But I noticed you could get 12 cans of (not even shit but decent lager) for £10. That’s ridiculous really. Then when you look at the proper plonks stuff like supermarket vodka and then the stuff like Sourz and Blue Wkd (which I didn’t even know you could still get) aimed at the teen drinker. And it’s so fucking cheap, man. 

[wykikitoon 20165]

This free bar thing seems to screw us over as a nation.

 

My wifes company does quarterly business updates where they will put on a free bar and nailed on every time there's something that goes off.  It's got to the point now where the board are discussing the removal of it, which fucks it up for those that can have a pint or two.  

My wife is pretty much T total.  We regularly go away and not drink.  I can open a bottle of wine at home and we can have a glass each and then leave it.  But it's a waste of a bottle so we usually don't bother until we have friends around