General Random Conversation..

[Andrew 4882]

11 hours ago, strawb said:

How much can youse get away with tossing it off at work and how much do you do it?

 

I basically created my own roles as it is now, so nobody except my boss knows the specifics of what I do and he seems happy as a pig in shit and doing even less than me tbh. This week so far I have sent 3 emails and read through some things while sat in the garden for work.

 

I used to feel guilt for stuff like this but since my dad died I’ve not given a fuck, the essential work gets done to the same level it was previously but the above and beyond bits can wait until I fancy doing them, if ever.

 

Can shift week to week for me depending on what I have on my plate.

 

The main thing though is that now my "performance" at work is all measured on what gets done, rather than how hard I "appear" to work. I'm somehow more productive and feel like I work less hard. Its class.

[The Fish 10978]

20 hours ago, strawb said:

How much can youse get away with tossing it off at work and how much do you do it?

 

I basically created my own roles as it is now, so nobody except my boss knows the specifics of what I do and he seems happy as a pig in shit and doing even less than me tbh. This week so far I have sent 3 emails and read through some things while sat in the garden for work.

 

I used to feel guilt for stuff like this but since my dad died I’ve not given a fuck, the essential work gets done to the same level it was previously but the above and beyond bits can wait until I fancy doing them, if ever.

 

My entire working life is proof that you can toss it off at work way more than you think. Under promise then 'over deliver', never agree to the first timeline suggested, block out chunks of you diary so people believe you're busy, schedule an email to send after hours (and respond to any reply that generates immediately with "I'll have a look in the morning" kind of thing. I'm lucky that I can automate a lot of my work if I spend a little time and effort at the beginning. 

 

This morning, I've listened to a podcast, I've fucked about with my football stats excel thing for the coming season for a bit, I've done some exercise in the garden,  back indoors to send a few emails with work that was completed by a macro and do a bit of studying of coding that will make my job even easier.

 

Despite this pisstaking, I'm getting a bonus and a payrise. And once I complete this study I should be able to negotiate a paybump or move to another company.

 

Used to work on shifts with the Met police. Honestly, night shifts and weekends were mostly playing football manager,  or watching tv. For years I did this for good money.

[Renton 22064]

6 minutes ago, The Fish said:

 

My entire working life is proof that you can toss it off at work way more than you think. Under promise then 'over deliver', never agree to the first timeline suggested, block out chunks of you diary so people believe you're busy, schedule an email to send after hours (and respond to any reply that generates immediately with "I'll have a look in the morning" kind of thing. I'm lucky that I can automate a lot of my work if I spend a little time and effort at the beginning. 

 

This morning, I've listened to a podcast, I've fucked about with my football stats excel thing for the coming season for a bit, I've done some exercise in the garden,  back indoors to send a few emails with work that was completed by a macro and do a bit of studying of coding that will make my job even easier.

 

Despite this pisstaking, I'm getting a bonus and a payrise. And once I complete this study I should be able to negotiate a paybump or move to another company.

 

Used to work on shifts with the Met police. Honestly, night shifts and weekends were mostly playing football manager,  or watching tv. For years I did this for good money.

 

That is first class loafing. 

 

[Christmas Tree 4866]

@renton in the papers tonight  

 

 

[The Fish 10978]

23 hours ago, Renton said:

 

That is first class loafing. 

 

Currently a group-wide conference call that I've spoken about to the team beforehand, talked it up, recommend people join it. You know, that kind of thing. 

 

That's me in the back garden, reading the kindle, drinking a bottle of coke for the next hour and 45 minutes then.

[Blastronaut 1344]

On 22/06/2022 at 22:54, Christmas Tree said:

@renton in the papers tonight  

 

 

 

I don't get the Renton reference and thought the Star was no more but that front page is an absolute work of art. Sunday Sport eat your heart out.

[sammynb 3539]

3 hours ago, Blastronaut said:

 

I don't get the Renton reference and thought the Star was no more but that front page is an absolute work of art. Sunday Sport eat your heart out.

 

FYI @BlastronautWor Renton, like Hitchcock has a bit of a seagull phobia.

[Renton 22064]

Definition of phobia: "an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something."

 

There is nothing extreme or irrational in my extreme wariness around and prejudice against these flying vermin. 

[Monkeys Fist 43241]

Morning all! 
 

Wnat a beautiful da.…aaaayyyyyyyyyy! 
 

[Craig 6700]

3 hours ago, Renton said:

Definition of phobia: "an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something."

 

There is nothing extreme or irrational in my extreme wariness around and prejudice against these flying vermin. 

Seagulls are utter cunts, mind. Although the one who tried to nick my son's burger a few years ago ended up being slapped around the face by him! Was quite impressed

[Renton 22064]

Actually, since I moved I haven't had any issues with seagulls, despite being next to the sea now. Think the garden is too small for the fuckers to land in and there's a cage over the chimneys so they can't nest. They still target shit me though. 

 

My new nemesis though is carrion crows. Vile creatures, but brilliantly intelligent and utter psycopaths. I set up a bird feeder in the garden which has attracted a large community of birds (sparrows, blue tits, bull finches, golden finches, robins, black birds, wood pigeons) and some other wildlife (field mice and grey sqirrels). But these fuckers wait in ambush for them and kill them, for no reason I can tell other than fun. So I have to pick up the dead, still warm carcasses up and bin them. Three birds and two field mice so far. 

[Alex 35670]

I think we’ve found the epicentre of that bird ‘flu outbreak anyway 

[Craig 6700]

13 minutes ago, Renton said:

Actually, since I moved I haven't had any issues with seagulls, despite being next to the sea now. Think the garden is too small for the fuckers to land in and there's a cage over the chimneys so they can't nest. They still target shit me though. 

 

My new nemesis though is carrion crows. Vile creatures, but brilliantly intelligent and utter psycopaths. I set up a bird feeder in the garden which has attracted a large community of birds (sparrows, blue tits, bull finches, golden finches, robins, black birds, wood pigeons) and some other wildlife (field mice and grey sqirrels). But these fuckers wait in ambush for them and kill them, for no reason I can tell other than fun. So I have to pick up the dead, still warm carcasses up and bin them. Three birds and two field mice so far. 

So basically you're providing them with a smörgåsbord?

Here's a thought Renton, if you don't want to play the role of 'avian undertaker' for the conquests of you feathered nemesis, perhaps dispense with the bird feeder?

[Alex 35670]

30 minutes ago, Renton said:

Actually, since I moved I haven't had any issues with seagulls, despite being next to the sea now. Think the garden is too small for the fuckers to land in and there's a cage over the chimneys so they can't nest. They still target shit me though. 

 

My new nemesis though is carrion crows. Vile creatures, but brilliantly intelligent and utter psycopaths. I set up a bird feeder in the garden which has attracted a large community of birds (sparrows, blue tits, bull finches, golden finches, robins, black birds, wood pigeons) and some other wildlife (field mice and grey sqirrels). But these fuckers wait in ambush for them and kill them, for no reason I can tell other than fun. So I have to pick up the dead, still warm carcasses up and bin them. Three birds and two field mice so far. 

Bird racist 

[Gemmill 46232]

The cage over the chimney is cos you're a wereseagull. 

[strawb 4415]

Do we have a thread for famous lasses that straddle the boiler/fit confusion zone? Tried searching but no luck

[Ayatollah Hermione 14094]

Borderline Boilers is what you’re after, I believe 

[Kid Dynamite 7204]

Calling CT

 

https://www.wayfair.co.uk/garden/pdp/dakota-fields-chopin-complete-garden-decking-kit-u001792137.html?piid=24385251

[Renton 22064]

WTAF am I looking at here? 3 and a half grand for an old pallet and some "pea - gravel - to fill the ground reinforcement grids and suppress the attraction of worms to concrete". Never even knew worms were attracted to concrete. 

 

I saw one of these in John Lewis the other day and want one. Unfortunately my garden is too small and I haven't got a spare 9k.

 

 

[scoobos 298]

Well, to buck the trend, I work like a bastard and feel sorry for the Full Timers I sometimes work with, who clearly hate their jobs and do fuck all. 

Everyone's different, but I couldn't hold self esteem or self worth if I just turned up all the time.

And also, it proves the current cunts in charge, right. In Britannia Unchained "The British are among the worst idlers in the world. We work among the lowest hours, we retire early and our productivity is poor. Whereas Indian children aspire to be doctors or businessmen, the British are more interested in football and pop music."

 

 

[Meenzer 15754]

1 minute ago, scoobos said:

Whereas Indian children aspire to be doctors or businessmen, the British are more interested in football and pop music.

 

 

Sounds good tbh

 

[Craig 6700]

ChezGiven?

[Blastronaut 1344]

1 hour ago, scoobos said:

Everyone's different, but I couldn't hold self esteem or self worth if I just turned up all the time.

 

 

I'm pretty much like this, like to be kept busy and be useful. I hate having to go to work as much as anyone but once I'm there it's a case of "fuck it I'm here now, what needs done?". Tbh though that might largely down to never really having been in a position where I've felt trapped in a job I hate. Anytime I've felt jaded with work I'm far more likely to just quit and look for something else than turn up and just fuck about. If ever felt trapped in a job I hated and saw no way out Im pretty sure I'd end up finding ways to do as little as possible.

[Blastronaut 1344]

 

@Renton

[Gemmill 46232]

3 hours ago, Renton said:

WTAF am I looking at here? 3 and a half grand for an old pallet and some "pea - gravel - to fill the ground reinforcement grids and suppress the attraction of worms to concrete". Never even knew worms were attracted to concrete. 

 

I saw one of these in John Lewis the other day and want one. Unfortunately my garden is too small and I haven't got a spare 9k.

 

 

 

"Mammy where's daddy?" 

 

"He's hiding from the seagulls in his fucking garden bauble again."