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Scottish Mag

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Renton
Renton

An update. I feel so fortunate. Back at home with the family, had a very long and frank discussion with Mrs Rents. She'll continue supporting me as long as I don't drink, which is obviously fair enoug

Alex
Alex

Had a couple a nights away in Keswick, got back yesterday morning. As is often the case I usually wake up at daft o’clock when I’m not at home in my own bed. Preoccupied with thoughts of today’s match

trophyshy
trophyshy

Last night I was sitting in the lounge minding my own business after the kids were put to bed.  I had the big light on.  Wor lass walked into the room and turned the big light off, fuck knows why.   S

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Gemmill

Gemmill 44896

Posted
Posted
On 09/12/2021 at 14:54, Renton said:

I think tubs is right on this one, it's just not worth the hassle setting this shit up and dealing with the inevitable maintenance and software issues. I had my my house rewired a couple of years ago and have hardly any pendant fittings, but most my lights have dimmer switches. Got the central heating done and got 2 nest controllers, one for upstairs and one for downstairs (believe you have to have a dual system nowadays).It's okay, but when you're wfh all day I don't think it saves you money. Nest can't control individual radiators although I believe Hive can?

I fucking hate Bezos and Amazon too so Alexa can fuck herself. Having said that I'm so embedded with Google now I might consider getting a Google hub to serve as an electronic picture frame and music system, if nowt else. 

 

Took all of 2 minutes to set up smart lightbulbs and less than half an hour to set the Ring alarm system up. 

Nest thermostats going in on Thursday (got someone else doing them though).

But aye, setting this shit up is not a bother. 

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Christmas Tree

Christmas Tree 4725

Posted
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15 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

 

Took all of 2 minutes to set up smart lightbulbs and less than half an hour to set the Ring alarm system up. 

Nest thermostats going in on Thursday (got someone else doing them though).

But aye, setting this shit up is not a bother. 


All afternoon strutting up and down :lol: 

 

 

8BF3A334-BDBF-431F-80D5-8F1C87A0E9C1.gif

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wykikitoon

wykikitoon 20155

Posted
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Could do with a bit of advice.


 A lad who I've known for close to 20 years is getting a bit much.  He has never been a full schilling and I don't really know his upbringing much apart from his dad sounded like he pushed his mother about.  He has always enjoyed the beer a bit too much at times, and never really had a long term relationship.  At heart the kid is a sound lad.  I have needed help at times with stuff and he has always been decent on that side.

 

A few weeks ago he was invited out by some mutual mates and he said he couldn't make it.  He then posted a message in the WhatsApp group with a beer at home. One lad asked why he didn't come out and he said he was busy, fine.  As the night wore on it was clear he was just getting mortal at home.  He was spamming the group and people just ignored it as they were out (I'm in the group but wasn't out). When nobody responded this kid sent the lad who organised it pissed up messages calling him a fat cunt etc but with a message saying just kidding.  I got similar about how he has got a few issues and his old lady has the start of dementia.  I responded a few days later saying he needs to seek help and get off the booze.  He has high blood pressure and liver issues anyways!

Roll onto Saturday, I am at a function and I get a WhatsApp.  This kid with a random message.  It was only 20:00 and I thought he had messaged me wrongly.  So ignored it.  Sunday Morning I get up and I have another message from 2am, clearly pissed up random fucking shite.  About lunch time he messages me apologising and saying he is struggling.

What the actual fuck more can I do?  I have asked if he fancies going for a walk in the hills, which he loves but get a 'Yeh ill try'  I pretty much think he is a functioning alcho.  I and others have told him he needs to seek help and he clearly hasnt.  I feel a cunt because I haven't replied to his last message.

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Renton

Renton 21627

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, wykikitoon said:

Could do with a bit of advice.


 A lad who I've known for close to 20 years is getting a bit much.  He has never been a full schilling and I don't really know his upbringing much apart from his dad sounded like he pushed his mother about.  He has always enjoyed the beer a bit too much at times, and never really had a long term relationship.  At heart the kid is a sound lad.  I have needed help at times with stuff and he has always been decent on that side.

 

A few weeks ago he was invited out by some mutual mates and he said he couldn't make it.  He then posted a message in the WhatsApp group with a beer at home. One lad asked why he didn't come out and he said he was busy, fine.  As the night wore on it was clear he was just getting mortal at home.  He was spamming the group and people just ignored it as they were out (I'm in the group but wasn't out). When nobody responded this kid sent the lad who organised it pissed up messages calling him a fat cunt etc but with a message saying just kidding.  I got similar about how he has got a few issues and his old lady has the start of dementia.  I responded a few days later saying he needs to seek help and get off the booze.  He has high blood pressure and liver issues anyways!

Roll onto Saturday, I am at a function and I get a WhatsApp.  This kid with a random message.  It was only 20:00 and I thought he had messaged me wrongly.  So ignored it.  Sunday Morning I get up and I have another message from 2am, clearly pissed up random fucking shite.  About lunch time he messages me apologising and saying he is struggling.

What the actual fuck more can I do?  I have asked if he fancies going for a walk in the hills, which he loves but get a 'Yeh ill try'  I pretty much think he is a functioning alcho.  I and others have told him he needs to seek help and he clearly hasnt.  I feel a cunt because I haven't replied to his last message.

 

Just talk to him I guess, in a non-judgemental way. How old is he? From what you've said it sounds like he's having a shit time and binge drinking, but not alcohol dependent yet. You need to intervene before it gets worse. Mind I lost a mate once to alcoholism and I never even realised he had a problem. Split up with his fiance and drank himself to death in 3 months. Was quite a shock. Happened to an inlaw too, he was dead for several days before anyone realised. 

 

Talking of which, I feel shit today after drinking yesterday, first time for a few months. It's only slowly dawned on me that its just not worth it, probably 36 to 48 hours of feeling shit just  for a few hours relaxation. I'll get back to just not drinking in the house again, which was working well for the last few months until I relented yesterday during the match. Some people, me and your mate included, probably just shouldn't drink. I really admire people like Meenzer who have sussed this out. Maybe I will one day (although it is  boring like). 

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Monkeys Fist

Monkeys Fist 42458

Posted
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If he’s not going out, hitting the sauce, and sleeping late/rising late, sounds like he could be suffering from depression. 
 

Other than what Renton said above, there’s ultimately not much you can do unless he decides for himself he needs help. 
 

It’s a bit of a Catch 22- if he gets some help/meds, he’ll probably cut down the drinking, but he’ll not get that help if he’s drinking too much and leaving the MH untreated. 
 

Some people respond to the arm round the shoulder, some people need to be told to “sort your fucking life out”. 
You probably know which type he is better than us. 

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Renton

Renton 21627

Posted
Posted

Yeah, the mental health issues could be key here. And it's hard. I know I suffer from anxiety and depression, but have never really sought help for it, as I don't want to be stigmatised or be on medication (and is referral for counselling even possible nowadays)? Not wanting to take drugs makes me a complete hypocrite too considering what I do for a living. The pandemic may also be a factor here for him. Just talk to him and as MF says, kick him in the nuts or not as appropriate. 

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Monkeys Fist

Monkeys Fist 42458

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I was the lowest I’ve ever been a few months back, and had a chat with my GP who put me on Happy Pills and I was offered counselling. 
I took the pills but didn’t bother with the tree-hugging and over the course of a week or two the difference was very noticeable. 
Give it a try, for a month or two, and if it’s not for you, no harm done, but if it works like it did for me, fuck me- what a difference you’ll see. 
I wasn’t having highs or lows, I was just flat- typically northern, I “felt nowt”:lol:, nothing, no joy, no sadness, no interest, nowt. 
 

Now, I’m like a teenage lass, bursting out into song at the sight of a kitten. :lol:

 

 

But, aye, give it a try Renton man. 

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Renton

Renton 21627

Posted
Posted (edited)
33 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

I was the lowest I’ve ever been a few months back, and had a chat with my GP who put me on Happy Pills and I was offered counselling. 
I took the pills but didn’t bother with the tree-hugging and over the course of a week or two the difference was very noticeable. 
Give it a try, for a month or two, and if it’s not for you, no harm done, but if it works like it did for me, fuck me- what a difference you’ll see. 
I wasn’t having highs or lows, I was just flat- typically northern, I “felt nowt”:lol:, nothing, no joy, no sadness, no interest, nowt. 
 

Now, I’m like a teenage lass, bursting out into song at the sight of a kitten. :lol:

 

 

But, aye, give it a try Renton man. 

 

I had no idea, you hide it well. You know what, I will definitely see the GP in the new year, thanks for sharing this. If antidepressants can get me back on course without making my penis drop off then why  not I guess. Got to be better than sporadically self-medicating with alcohol and me feeling so low as fuck the next day that I end up posting shit on a message board :lol:. I can also ask for grief counselling from my work as a freebie, hopefully in confidence. I still have terrible feelings of sadness and guilt I just can't shake (and I know the latter is completely irrational but I can't help it). 2022 has to be a better year for me than this cunt of a year. :thumbsup:

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Dr Gloom

Dr Gloom 21924

Posted
Posted (edited)
43 minutes ago, Renton said:

Yeah, the mental health issues could be key here. And it's hard. I know I suffer from anxiety and depression, but have never really sought help for it, as I don't want to be stigmatised or be on medication (and is referral for counselling even possible nowadays)? Not wanting to take drugs makes me a complete hypocrite too considering what I do for a living. The pandemic may also be a factor here for him. Just talk to him and as MF says, kick him in the nuts or not as appropriate. 

i don't think there is as much of a stigma now. and you don't have to tell anyone ultimately, so give it a whirl. if it works, great. if they don't agree with you, no harm done. or try something like CBD oil. may not work for you but won't hurt to give it a bash. i know people who suffer with anxiety who swear by it and are now sleeping well again. 

regular exercise is the thing that keeps my mental health and wellbeing in check. that and the occasional bender to let off some steam. 

Edited by Dr Gloom
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Tom

Tom 14011

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Posted

They’ll definitely help you if you’re struggling with the day to day stuff. I think without them I spent a lot of time waking up and saying “ahhh man, fuck this” pretty much every day. 
 

Exercise has helped me massively this year but Im still prone to bouts of depression/anxiety and I never really know when to expect them, sometimes I only notice when everything’s gone wrong so I try to maintain the meds so as not to slip. Obviously during the pandemic they’ve helped too - as I live alone so it’s been a hell of a battle.

 

Obviously your year has been considerably more difficult with losing family in the circumstances. 
 

Counselling will almost certainly help because figuring stuff out can get you a little closer to closure and you tend to think about stuff differently. A fresh pair of eyes can certainly help that. I think it’s really hard to get on

the NHS mind.

 

But yeh, don’t write off medication. Your brain is short of serotonin, it’s science and nothing to be ashamed off. Modern life is fucking hard. 

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Monkeys Fist

Monkeys Fist 42458

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

I had no idea, you hide it well. You know what, I will definitely see the GP in the new year, thanks for sharing this. If antidepressants can get me back on course without making my penis drop off then why  not I guess. Got to be better than sporadically self-medicating with alcohol and me feeling so low as fuck the next day that I end up posting shit on a message board :lol:. I can also ask for grief counselling from my work as a freebie, hopefully in confidence. I still have terrible feelings of sadness and guilt I just can't shake (and I know the latter is completely irrational but I can't help it). 2022 has to be a better year for me than this cunt of a year. :thumbsup:

Go for it mate, but, why wait- that’s just putting things off, which was what I used to do, and then never actually doing them.


Ring your GP tomorrow and you’ll be rocking around the Christmas tree and giving it Fa-La-La-La on the 25th. 
 

Do this, if not for your sake, then for ours, please :lol:


( you could try Gloom’s idea of having a bender, but you’d have to go to Time Square and look sexy, so maybe try that in summer… yes, reported myself). 

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wykikitoon

wykikitoon 20155

Posted
Posted

I was on them a few years back for 6 months.  Helped me get equilibrium like Tom said.  Gave me clarity and at the same time had counselling.

 

Thanks for the advice lads, I have messaged the lad and told him we shall chat tonight to which I got a thumbs up which is good.

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Monkeys Fist

Monkeys Fist 42458

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

I was on them a few years back for 6 months.  Helped me get equilibrium like Tom said.  Gave me clarity and at the same time had counselling.

 

Thanks for the advice lads, I have messaged the lad and told him we shall chat tonight to which I got a thumbs up which is good.

Nice one, if you get to raise the subject and he shuts you down, drop it for tonight but don’t give up, keep mentioning it and he’ll get the message- sounds like he knows he needs to do something anyway, so fingers crossed. 👍

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