Gemmill 44849 Posted August 27, 2021 Share Posted August 27, 2021 Just now, Christmas Tree said: Why not. Much better to plan your own send off Come on then. I fucking GUARANTEE you've got Rocket Man lined up for yours. Club Tropicana on arrival. The Pina Colada song as the curtains close on the coffin. And then Rocket Man as people file out. That's your funeral 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44849 Posted August 27, 2021 Share Posted August 27, 2021 14 minutes ago, Gemmill said: Come on then. I fucking GUARANTEE you've got Rocket Man lined up for yours. Club Tropicana on arrival. The Pina Colada song as the curtains close on the coffin. And then Rocket Man as people file out. That's your funeral One of your kids doing a reading, but it's just the lyrics from Cotton Eye Joe. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42408 Posted August 27, 2021 Share Posted August 27, 2021 6 months later, his “mates” from Metector Club will dig him up again. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44849 Posted August 27, 2021 Share Posted August 27, 2021 "I've found a dinosaur egg!...... Ah no it's Andy's head." 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42408 Posted August 27, 2021 Share Posted August 27, 2021 “Today, on Mysteries of the Soil, how was this Inca skull found in a Boldon churchyard?…” 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30595 Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 On 27/08/2021 at 15:06, The Fish said: Was up home for a funeral on Wednesday. Are there always someone at a wake that nobody has a fucking clue about? There was this woman, a good 25yrs younger than my late Godfather, so not a friend. According to the neighbours, she's not a local. Wasn't from St Oswalds. No idea who the fuck she was. But she sat at the service, got her free drink at the wake, ate from the buffet, spoke to a few people, gave her condolences and all that. Proper weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42408 Posted August 28, 2021 Share Posted August 28, 2021 L’Oooof! Hon hon hon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10856 Posted August 31, 2021 Share Posted August 31, 2021 On 27/08/2021 at 16:11, strawb said: Bit on the side? Sorry for your loss Unlikely, Jim was lucky to find Iris, I doubt anyone else could put up with his curmudgeon-ness. Used to go to the match with his sons and him on occasion. He was at Milan, at the Man Utd and Barcelona games, when we smashed Leicester around, and all that. Never seemed happy. Didn't like Ginola, Asprilla, Robert. I think the biggest smile I ever saw was when I came back from London for a weekend with my head shaved bald. He was a really good bloke and a really good husband/dad by all accounts, but fucking hell, he could make Jack Dee seem chipper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42408 Posted August 31, 2021 Share Posted August 31, 2021 2 hours ago, The Fish said: when I came back from London for a weekend with my head shaved bald. How could he tell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33165 Posted August 31, 2021 Share Posted August 31, 2021 What I'm getting from this is, is every time he saw the fish he looked pissed off. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10856 Posted August 31, 2021 Share Posted August 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said: How could he tell? I didn't have the McClaren island any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10856 Posted August 31, 2021 Share Posted August 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Howmanheyman said: What I'm getting from this is, is every time he saw the fish he looked pissed off. I'm like modern art, nobody really gets me but I brighten every room I'm in. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42408 Posted August 31, 2021 Share Posted August 31, 2021 2 hours ago, The Fish said: I'm like modern art… shit Fished YP 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10856 Posted August 31, 2021 Share Posted August 31, 2021 25 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said: Fished YP Fuck did I do to you? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted September 2, 2021 Share Posted September 2, 2021 https://www.thesun.co.uk/health/16025167/viagra-could-protect-heart-sex-life-study/ Pm me @Monkeys Fist @Gemmill 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 Paddy's, @ewerk @Ant... if someone posted a first class letter to me from NI this morning would it be unreasonable to expect it tomorrow or no chance? Google throws up some contradictions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30595 Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 First class generally means next day to any part of our beloved United Kingdom so I'd expect it tomorrow. Then again the lazy workshy posties will probably claim long covid and not get it to you on time. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44849 Posted September 3, 2021 Share Posted September 3, 2021 New batch of NIagra incoming? Yer wee man'll be hard as a rock sure. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 9398 Posted September 4, 2021 Share Posted September 4, 2021 21 hours ago, Gemmill said: New batch of NIagra incoming? Yer wee man'll be hard as a rock sure. Pebble surely ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGingerQuiff 2412 Posted September 4, 2021 Share Posted September 4, 2021 Harder than playing basketball on crack withdrawal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42408 Posted September 5, 2021 Share Posted September 5, 2021 On 04/09/2021 at 21:14, TheGingerQuiff said: Harder than playing basketball on crack withdrawal When did you move to Stoke, btw? https://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/thief-who-stole-viagra-keep-5869313 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10856 Posted September 6, 2021 Share Posted September 6, 2021 When your little'un starts speaking, it's amazing. Watching them start putting sounds together to make words, then words together to make phrases. Just amazing. The downside is being woken at 05:20 with "POO POO. Daddy? WHERE ARE YOU? DAAAADDEEEE, POOPOO!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42408 Posted September 6, 2021 Share Posted September 6, 2021 Wait another 12 years or so and they lose most of their vocabulary again. “ Hey Fistlet, want to do something other than stare at a screen?” ” Uhhhh! “ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10856 Posted September 6, 2021 Share Posted September 6, 2021 I'm excited for the days where instead of zero sleep, I need a crowbar to get him out of his pit. Honestly, we do all we can to knacker him out. Little fucker takes ages to go off, then wakes at the crack of dawn, full of beans. Sleeps for maybe 8 hours? I thought they were supposed to sleep 10-12?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42408 Posted September 6, 2021 Share Posted September 6, 2021 Put him to bed later 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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