General Random Conversation..

[ewerk 30569]

Toontastic: Officially not the place to come for sympathy 

[Ayatollah Hermione 13861]

I’m picturing Fish falling down as fast as Peter Griffin 

[Alex 35064]

1 hour ago, The Fish said:

Was carrying the little'un to the pram on the drive, my ankle gave way and I and just fucking earthsong-knee-dropped onto the concrete off the bottom step. Knees are fucked.  

 

 

 

The wife called me a dickhead, the baby thought it was a right laugh, hastily deleted the scene from the Ring doorbell. 

U ok, hun? 

[Gemmill 44814]

There's nothing funny about a sprained ankle, lads. NOTHING. 

[Renton 21592]

1 hour ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

The fish nearly into the house after the accident, nearly, so close but couldn't quite get over the threshold before the agony finally proved too much.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I..... I can't make it darling.....aaaarrrghhhh!!!...

..... delete the ring bell video and the money's in the biscuit tin......aaaarrrgghhhhh!! Farewell my love!"

 

"My love" [weak voice, croak] "My sweet, sweet love, promise me one thing?" 

 

"Ffs, yes Dave?" [derisive sigh] 

 

"Before I pass into the unknown, arghhhh, will you do one thing for me?" 

 

"Ffs, what, I've got aerobics in half an hour" 

 

" Will you press that button on my phone for me......." Last breath, fades to black. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Isegrim 9762]

I have been staying at home for over a week now with torn muscle in my right calf. It’s actually annoying as fuck and I am thinking of changing my name to Elena or Kieron.

[Toonpack 9390]

39 minutes ago, Isegrim said:

I have been staying at home for over a week now with torn muscle in my right calf. It’s actually annoying as fuck and I am thinking of changing my name to Elena or Kieron.

House arrest, how very Gestapo

[Gemmill 44814]

There's been another TT faller. Out for a headtorch run at 5 this morning. Caught my foot on a rock sticking out of the path. Skinned my hands, knee, and smacked my head so a nice little egg on that too.

 

Most annoyingly scratched fuck out of my new Garmin. 

 

Still no broken bones though, @thebrokendoll. 48 and never broken a bone. 

[thebrokendoll 9193]

brace yourselves gentlemen, this is another epic in the making.

[wykikitoon 20117]

12 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

There's been another TT faller. Out for a headtorch run at 5 this morning. Caught my foot on a rock sticking out of the path. Skinned my hands, knee, and smacked my head so a nice little egg on that too.

 

Most annoyingly scratched fuck out of my new Garmin. 

 

Still no broken bones though, @thebrokendoll. 48 and never broken a bone. 

 

Praying for you and yours 

[Gemmill 44814]

9 minutes ago, thebrokendoll said:

 

 

 

[Monkeys Fist 42388]

So, there’s construction work going on within 20 yards of my back garden at the minute, aside from the dust and noise, one of the other pleasantries this has caused is fucking rats. 
 

Caught about 8-10 of the fucking things over the last month or so, all in the back garden. 
 

Neighbours all along the back lane are having the same trouble. 
 

Yesterday, to add to the joy, our erstwhile mutt went in to “prey sighted” mode, in our kitchen, pointing and growling like fuck at the baseboard of our kitchen units. 
 

Pulled the cooker and dishwasher out…

 

… fuck’s sake, the bastards have moved inside with the cold weather. 
 

Down to Screwfix for more traps, filled any hole more than 1mm I could find in the house walls, then waited. 
 

06:07 this morning, dog starts going apeshit, Mrs. F. ran in to the kitchen, heard squeaking from behind the dishwasher, and promptly had a full blown panic attack. 
 

Trouble is, at 06:07 this morning, I was parked up just north of Bristol, waiting to get in to a yard to tip. 
 

Phone goes, screaming and blubbering, panicky breathing, she’s about to run out of the house… what a fuck on man 

 

I rang my bro-in-law who lives round the corner, he went round and pulled the baseboards out, saw two of the hairy little fuckers, set the traps and calmed my gibbering Mrs. down. 
He reckons they’re coming up from the drain somehow. 

Waiting now on the council pest control to come and do their thing. 
 

Mrs. will be in full “disinfect the entire fucking house and every single item in it” mode, and I’m not back until Saturday morning. 
 

 

 

 

 

Anyone posting the UB-fucking-40 song can …

 

As you were gents. 

[wykikitoon 20117]

Fuck me, that sounds rank man.  Dump the dead ones at the gate of the construction site.

[Monkeys Fist 42388]

1 minute ago, wykikitoon said:

Fuck me, that sounds rank man.  Dump the dead ones at the gate of the construction site.

Any of these little cunts from inside are getting fucking hoyed straight at the diggers, no bag, nowt.