Gemmill 42580 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 The lad shit his pants in the office. He needs to wipe his bum and take his medicine. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 20413 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 2 hours ago, trophyshy said: Fruit can do a lot of heavy lifting with kids. Christ it is a pain though. I understand why parents just fucking give up. I know a lad who lived on cheese and mash his entire childhood (which was a very complex one), turned out 6ft 2 and right as rain. Don't underestimate the power of the apex omnivore to make do. Mrs Rents was a freak with food when I first met her. She had a limited number of dishes she would eat, and she would only eat these, absolutely nothing else. This was chips, chips with curry sauce, spaghetti hoops on toast, ripple bars (no other confectionary) and omelette which she had to ask to get made up if she went out. She wouldn't even eat pizza or pasta. She then went inter-railing and was basically forced to eat food like pizza or starve to death. She's still a fussy vegetarian (won't eat anything resembling meat in texture or taste except bizarrely beef crisps) but much better now. C'est la vie. It's a pain but honestly tyhe human body can healthily adapt to mono-diets. The kids, they are another matter. It's not so much they are fussy that gets me, it's just they change what they like on a daily basis. Eat it or starve is the correct response. The not so little shits now. Oh, and ewerk, the lettuce in a burger is for appearance and texture you animal. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 20413 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 We've all done it, followed through. But what nobody normal would do is tell the boss they have followed through. ESPECIALLY if that boss is wykiki. This lad needs referring to a head doctor. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7055 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 On a whim, I just allowed Amazon music to present me "my" playlist and I should probably be arrested, the fucking state of it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 29474 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 6 minutes ago, Renton said: We've all done it, followed through. No WE fucking haven't, Mr. Incontinent. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 8680 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 37 minutes ago, Gemmill said: I'm gonna need to bring the dates of the workshop forward. Will there be a buffet ?? Us poor pensioners need all the help we can get. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 20413 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 24 minutes ago, ewerk said: No WE fucking haven't, Mr. Incontinent. You've never played Russian roulette with a wet fart and lost? Amateur. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10422 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 33 minutes ago, Renton said: We've all done it, followed through. But what nobody normal would do is tell the boss they have followed through. ESPECIALLY if that boss is wykiki. This lad needs referring to a head doctor. The fuck we have! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 42580 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 Never done it either. A very confident and very costly declaration from Renton. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 29474 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15111 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 Mind, he'll be furious he's the one on the left. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 29474 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 Oh that was no accident. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10422 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 Clipboard strikes again. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 6227 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 Let me take you back to 2009. I used to live about 7 mins walk from work so I’d go home for lunch. On one fine Summers day I’d had a dicky stomach all morning. I’d just polished off my lunch and watched some TV then on the way down the stairs of my flat I let rip an almighty “bumsen burner”. Low and behold I followed through rather impressively. I rang my boss and told him id be late because I’d shit myself. He was absolutely fine about it. I then told the office when I got back. Wear it loud and proud people. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 19293 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 35 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said: Let me take you back to 2009. I used to live about 7 mins walk from work so I’d go home for lunch. On one fine Summers day I’d had a dicky stomach all morning. I’d just polished off my lunch and watched some TV then on the way down the stairs of my flat I let rip an almighty “bumsen burner”. Low and behold I followed through rather impressively. I rang my boss and told him id be late because I’d shit myself. He was absolutely fine about it. I then told the office when I got back. Wear it loud and proud people. At least you were honest 😂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 34060 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 (edited) I did it once but I was bad in bed with the flu. The actual proper flu, not a cold. I was that ill I was more bothered about the fact I’d have to get out of bed. I thought I’d done it once at a Hawkwind gig in Middlesbrough. But it was just a combination of paranoia, coming up on lsd, the sensation of sweat trickling down my leg being accentuated by that and (I think) someone doing an absolutely rancid fart directly behind me. Unless they’d followed through. Imagine my relief when I found a cubicle in the gents and realised it was a false alarm Edited September 11 by Alex 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 8680 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 39 minutes ago, Alex said: I did it once but I was bad in bed with the flu. The actual proper flu, not a cold. I was that ill I was more bothered about the fact I’d have to get out of bed. I thought I’d done it once at a Hawkwind gig in Middlesbrough. But it was just a combination of paranoia, coming up on lsd, the sensation of sweat trickling down my leg being accentuated by that and (I think) someone doing an absolutely rancid fart directly behind me. Unless they’d followed through. Imagine my relief when I found a cubicle in the gents and realised it was a false alarm Be honest, you jizzed yourself at Stasia 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 34060 Posted September 11 Share Posted September 11 10 minutes ago, Toonpack said: Be honest, you jizzed yourself at Stasia I think she left before I was born, let alone this gig 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 10672 Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 8 hours ago, Alex said: I think she left before I was born, let alone this gig Quite impressive then, on that basis. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4433 Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 Had a very vivid dream last night that I was getting the Worlds Best Ever Blowjob. No idea who was providing the service other than they had a dark perm (Could of been Keegan) Unfortunately it’s left me quite depressed this morning as I now feel I’ve been missing out. My previous best blowjob was a girl in a local bar who demonstrated her technique (which she was extremely proud of), on my middle finger. It was an eye opening experience at the time, but still I sadly feel that nothing will ever compare to this vivid dream 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 42580 Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 Can I just check: are you counting a lass with your finger in her gob as your best ever blowjob? 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 8680 Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 1 hour ago, Christmas Tree said: Had a very vivid dream last night that I was getting the Worlds Best Ever Blowjob. No idea who was providing the service other than they had a dark perm (Could of been Keegan) Unfortunately it’s left me quite depressed this morning as I woke up with my middle finger up the dogs arse. FYP 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 19293 Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 1 hour ago, Christmas Tree said: Had a very vivid dream last night that I was getting the Worlds Best Ever Blowjob. No idea who was providing the service other than they had a dark perm (Could of been Keegan) Unfortunately it’s left me quite depressed this morning as I now feel I’ve been missing out. My previous best blowjob was a girl in a local bar who demonstrated her technique (which she was extremely proud of), on my middle finger. It was an eye opening experience at the time, but still I sadly feel that nothing will ever compare to this vivid dream I fucking love CT 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 20413 Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 1 hour ago, Christmas Tree said: Had a very vivid dream last night that I was getting the Worlds Best Ever Blowjob. No idea who was providing the service other than they had a dark perm (Could of been Keegan) Unfortunately it’s left me quite depressed this morning as I now feel I’ve been missing out. My previous best blowjob was a girl in a local bar who demonstrated her technique (which she was extremely proud of), on my middle finger. It was an eye opening experience at the time, but still I sadly feel that nothing will ever compare to this vivid dream Kevin or Michelle? Jesus Christ on a bike, what a way to start the day this imagery is. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21280 Posted September 12 Share Posted September 12 (edited) i'm sure someone on here once said BJs are overrated poor soul - obviously never had one performed by someone who knows what they're doing Edited September 12 by Dr Gloom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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