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32 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

What is it? 
 

 

 

(Other than fucked)

 

Top of the range Audi A3, black edition. Tinted glass, black logos, sporty. I joked to the dealer it was a drug dealer car. Then I remembered he was black. He laughed, I am officially David Brent. 

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22 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

Top of the range Audi A3, black edition. Tinted glass, black logos, sporty. I joked to the dealer it was a drug dealer car. Then I remembered he was black. He laughed, I am officially David Brent. 

Bison GIF

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34 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

Top of the range Audi A3, black edition. Tinted glass, black logos, sporty. I joked to the dealer it was a drug dealer car. Then I remembered he was black. He laughed, I am officially David Brent. 

What’s wrong with it? 
 

I had an A3 , brand new, fucked. 
 

Took ages to pinpoint the trouble

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2 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

What’s wrong with it? 
 

I had an A3 , brand new, fucked. 
 

Took ages to pinpoint the trouble

 

Looks like Ralph forgot to tighten a screw on the coolant line. 

I've got a replacement hire car which is electric. I love it and now wish I'd gone for an electric. :lol:

I'm fucking tapped like. Audis are not a reliable brand, and the thing I most value is reliability. So I buy another fucking Audi. :lol:

 

Tap Dance GIF

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2 minutes ago, Renton said:

Audis are not a reliable brand

Mine would intermittently, but often enough to be a problem, lose power momentarily, but only whilst accelerating, never whilst cruising at a steady speed. 
Put it in to the dealer numerous times, and they didn’t have a fucking clue, to the point where I think they thought I was trying it on ( which made no sense?)

 

6 months after I bought it, I a took it to them and said “ fix the fucking thing or give me my money back, plus interest “

I was fairly agitated tbh :lol:

 

I told them to give me an exact replacement and keep mine until it was fixed, which they did, tbf. 
 

Two weeks after I put it in, I got a call from a mechanic who’d been tasked with the problem- it was a tiny hole in one of the pistons. 
 

Fixed it and I kept it for 3 years without another issue. 

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18 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Speaking of shagging accountants…

 

… this is fucking insane 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/surfing/68856022

 

28m is just over 93ft. ( The road deck of the Tyne Bridge is 84ft above the river, for comparison). 

 

The size of him compared to the wave, man. That place is meant to regularly have the biggest waves in the world, isn’t it? Whenever I’ve seen footage (probably because the winter / spring storm season is the best time for huge waves) the water looks almost black. Scary as fuck 

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Aye, it’s fucking terrifying tbh. 
 

The drone footage at the end of the clip shows him being engulfed at the end of the run, with what appears to be a jet ski emerging from the mess to pick him up. 
 

Insane. 

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37 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Aye, it’s fucking terrifying tbh. 
 

The drone footage at the end of the clip shows him being engulfed at the end of the run, with what appears to be a jet ski emerging from the mess to pick him up. 
 

Insane. 

Big wave riders are fucking mental.

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2 hours ago, Renton said:

 

Top of the range Audi A3, black edition. Tinted glass, black logos, sporty. I joked to the dealer it was a drug dealer car. Then I remembered he was black. He laughed, I am officially David Brent. 

 

"Top of the range" :lol:

 

jeremy-clarkson-the-farm.gif

 

What a fucking CUNT! 

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30 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

Fuck off 0.9 litre mondeo man. 

 

S-Line Vignale, or "top of the range" as it happens, but you'll notice that I've never announced it as such, cos I'm not a giant cunt. :lol:

 

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Just now, Gemmill said:

 

S-Line Vignale, or "top of the range" as it happens, but you'll notice that I've never announced it as such, cos I'm not a giant cunt. :lol:

 

Hoy man, MF literally asked me what car it was. I needed to hoy in it was the black edition for my anecdote to work you absolute spenk. :whistle:

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Just looked for the Harry Enfield sketch of the two boring twats at the party saying “Soooo…. What are we driving at the moment??”… couldn’t find it but that’s this thread at the moment :cuppa:

Edited by PaddockLad
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Rents imagination as he's about to go out for a drive in his new, top of the range car.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ass_bent_over_women_car_vehicle_women_wi

"Stick it in my arse, rents babe, I love your new, top of the range car and it's making me horny for you."

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Tbf, you have to look the part when you’re cruising round the Whitley Bay one-way system with the stereo cranked up 

Edited by Alex
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Im not into cars.

 

When I worked for a massive house builder in London I got a company car. Brand new, like 0 miles, Mazda 6 just after they released. 
 

I left because fuck London. Moved to Manchester, bought a cheap Kia and ran it into the ground.

 

Couple of years ago, cos I was up and down to boro more to help with my brother and doing loads of motorway miles. I bought an Audi Q5 S-Line (old shape). Took my time, researched the dealer, the car and it had a full Audi service history. 
 

Brought it home, week after it need a new gearbox. Which being automatic cost me £3k. Cars are fucking scam, insurance went up by 35% this year with no changes. 

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