General Random Conversation..

[Christmas Tree 4725]

1 hour ago, Gemmill said:

Heating on for the first time since the winter here.

Soft shite  

[wykikitoon 20129]

The ground workers we're superb!

 

To be sure

[Christmas Tree 4725]

1 hour ago, Renton said:

 

I'm pondering whether to set the underfloor heating in the bathroom on a timer for the first time. Amazing.

 

On a slightly more interesting note, we had EDF come out for the NINTH time trying to fix the gas smart meter yesterday. Couldn't fix it again, the bloke just shrugged and said he'd be out again next month to not fix it. Its common place apparently, about 50% of smart meters don't work. 

soft posh shite

[spongebob toonpants 3995]

1 hour ago, Alex said:

@Gemmill @Holden McGroin Manc-mag is alive and well. I haven’t seen him in ages but Cat-Mag saw him quite recently when she was visiting Manchester. Not sure re: Happy Face but didn’t he still tweet a lot after no longer posting on here?

Happy Face never recovered front Assange turning out to be a wrong'un as I remember it.

Shame - top notch football poster

[Gemmill 44853]

ITT:

 

Renton and wykiki have underfloor heating.

 

Wykiki has a KITCHEN GUY.

[wykikitoon 20129]

Aye Happy Face was sound.  He was a stats man before the Spreadsheet Twins were on it. #leader 

[RobinRobin 11263]

1 hour ago, Christmas Tree said:

Soft shite  

 

1 hour ago, Christmas Tree said:

soft posh shite

You know things are bad when CT ridicules you. 🙂 

[Dr Gloom 21915]

2 hours ago, Holden McGroin said:

Rob W disappeared as well. I recall he was quite old back in the day.

 

RIP

[Dr Gloom 21915]

46 minutes ago, RobinRobin said:

 

You know things are bad when CT ridicules you. 🙂 

 

[Alex 35077]

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/jimmy-savile-janet-street-porter-steve-coogan-b2428320.html?utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=Feed
At least she now knows how everyone else feels 

[Holden McGroin 6583]

My little boy (4) started school in September. He is very shy and struggles to communicate with kids of the same age. He seems to be better with older children and adults (although occasionally will go into his shell with new people ). He often comes across as rude (eg will turn away when another kid tries to talk to him). He is okay when he gets to know people and never shuts up in the house. Perversely he just gets stuck into stuff (like football training) and isn't shy all in that respect.

 

He has started saying he doesn't want to go to school as no-one will play with him, which is breaking my heart.  When we try to encourage him to talk to other kids he just says he doesn't know what to say. When we try to introduce him to kids out of school he doesn't show much interest in them (although I secretly think he wants to or takes him an age to start building up rapport)

 

Anyone experienced this or have any advice?

[The Fish 10856]

26 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said:

My little boy (4) started school in September. He is very shy and struggles to communicate with kids of the same age. He seems to be better with older children and adults (although occasionally will go into his shell with new people ). He often comes across as rude (eg will turn away when another kid tries to talk to him). He is okay when he gets to know people and never shuts up in the house. Perversely he just gets stuck into stuff (like football training) and isn't shy all in that respect.

 

He has started saying he doesn't want to go to school as no-one will play with him, which is breaking my heart.  When we try to encourage him to talk to other kids he just says he doesn't know what to say. When we try to introduce him to kids out of school he doesn't show much interest in them (although I secretly think he wants to or takes him an age to start building up rapport)

 

Anyone experienced this or have any advice?

 

If you've got him in football training, if you keep him hanging out with kids away from school and all that, he'll be grand. He might just need a little time to warm up. 

 

You got him in any other groups outside of school? Maybe try some martial arts?

[RobinRobin 11263]

Perhaps try to find out which outside school activities his classmates do and sign him up. He might be able to take that back to school which will enable him to join in with their friends there. 

Or you could take Fish's advice. At least he could kick the shit out of anyone who annoyed him. 😉 

Edited October 17, 2023 by RobinRobin

[Holden McGroin 6583]

8 minutes ago, The Fish said:

 

If you've got him in football training, if you keep him hanging out with kids away from school and all that, he'll be grand. He might just need a little time to warm up. 

 

You got him in any other groups outside of school? Maybe try some martial arts?

Aye. I’m hoping it’s just going to take him time to warm up but I am assuming a lot of the other kids are forming friendship groups now so hoping he won’t be left behind.

 

 

 

 

[Holden McGroin 6583]

4 minutes ago, RobinRobin said:

Perhaps try to find out which outside school activities his classmates do and sign him up. He might be able to take that back to school which will enable him to join in with their friends there. 

 

Good idea.

[Renton 21614]

35 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said:

My little boy (4) started school in September. He is very shy and struggles to communicate with kids of the same age. He seems to be better with older children and adults (although occasionally will go into his shell with new people ). He often comes across as rude (eg will turn away when another kid tries to talk to him). He is okay when he gets to know people and never shuts up in the house. Perversely he just gets stuck into stuff (like football training) and isn't shy all in that respect.

 

He has started saying he doesn't want to go to school as no-one will play with him, which is breaking my heart.  When we try to encourage him to talk to other kids he just says he doesn't know what to say. When we try to introduce him to kids out of school he doesn't show much interest in them (although I secretly think he wants to or takes him an age to start building up rapport)

 

Anyone experienced this or have any advice?

 

Not really advice, just empathy, I have similar issues with one of mine, although she is a fair bit older. It's really one of the things you can't control, especially at school. Let the teachers know your concerns and I am sure they will be on the lookout and help where they can.

 

See, this is the thing about having kids. One of the characters on bad sisters said "you're only as happy as your unhappiest child" and I was just knocked over by how true and profound this was. I mean I'm socially awkward as fuck as an adult but after a while you really stop giving a fuck. But now you have to worry about how your kids socialise, and what's worse, it hurts much more than anything that directly affects you and you have little control over it. Parenthood sucks in many ways. 

[The Fish 10856]

Just now, Holden McGroin said:

Aye. I’m hoping it’s just going to take him time to warm up but I am assuming a lot of the other kids are forming friendship groups now so hoping he won’t be left behind.

 

The other kids might be, but honestly, they'll change who they play with on a weekly basis. If he enjoys playing football he'll sharp make friends. He'll not be left behind or owt. 

[Rayvin 5219]

56 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said:

My little boy (4) started school in September. He is very shy and struggles to communicate with kids of the same age. He seems to be better with older children and adults (although occasionally will go into his shell with new people ). He often comes across as rude (eg will turn away when another kid tries to talk to him). He is okay when he gets to know people and never shuts up in the house. Perversely he just gets stuck into stuff (like football training) and isn't shy all in that respect.

 

He has started saying he doesn't want to go to school as no-one will play with him, which is breaking my heart.  When we try to encourage him to talk to other kids he just says he doesn't know what to say. When we try to introduce him to kids out of school he doesn't show much interest in them (although I secretly think he wants to or takes him an age to start building up rapport)

 

Anyone experienced this or have any advice?

 

I don't have kids so I can't talk to this from a position of any experience, but I am very close to someone who grew up with a condition called selective mutism - sort of a social anxiety driven condition that makes it very difficult for children to communicate in situations where they are not comfortable. I'm not saying that's what this is, but there are some parallels in what you've described versus what this person has explained to me.

 

I would suggest at the very least bringing a child therapist into the conversation just to rule out this being anything other than a phase. It could be that it's nothing of the sort, but from what I have seen of the damage these sort of social limitation issues can cause, it might be worth just getting a view from someone in the know.

[Holden McGroin 6583]

17 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

Not really advice, just empathy, I have similar issues with one of mine, although she is a fair bit older. It's really one of the things you can't control, especially at school. Let the teachers know your concerns and I am sure they will be on the lookout and help where they can.

 

See, this is the thing about having kids. One of the characters on bad sisters said "you're only as happy as your unhappiest child" and I was just knocked over by how true and profound this was. I mean I'm socially awkward as fuck as an adult but after a while you really stop giving a fuck. But now you have to worry about how your kids socialise, and what's worse, it hurts much more than anything that directly affects you and you have little control over it. Parenthood sucks in many ways. 

Oddly, his older brother is socially amazing. He is like a celebrity at school although he is academically struggling, as he has severe dyslexia so he has his different challenges. 
 

I was horrifically shy when I was young so I guess it’s from me.  I was lucky enough to be good a football so I think I was by default popular at school. Hoping for something similar for him. 
 

Like Renton, I don’t really care these days and could easily hold a room or do a presentation. That’s definitely a learnt emotion/skill. 

[Renton 21614]

20 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

I would suggest at the very least bringing a child therapist into the conversation

 

This would be great but in practice access to these services just isn't there except for themost severe conditions.

Like Holden, my other kid is also incredibly popular. This just makes it harder for the less popular one of course, because siblings don't really have empathy until they are older. 

[Alex 35077]

It’s hard because when you’re socially awkward you kind of build up the difficulty in overcoming that into some big emotional obstacle. Then you’re only 4 so you don’t really understand it and the other kids are only four too so they don’t really get it either. It’s brilliant they like football because stuff like that can be a great way of forming social bonds. I like Robin’s advice and also what Renton said about making the teachers aware of your concerns. I don’t know of you / your lass are mates with any parents but, if so, maybe do some stuff out of school where they can make friends by doing stuff in smaller groups. Even if it’s just come round for sone pizza and to watch a film. Anyway, best of luck with it all, mate 

Edited October 17, 2023 by Alex

[Gemmill 44853]

I can't offer any useful help, but I hope you get sorted because I imagine it's really difficult to hear/have on your mind.

[Dazzler 9742]

28 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said:

Oddly, his older brother is socially amazing. He is like a celebrity at school although he is academically struggling, as he has severe dyslexia so he has his different challenges. 
 

I was horrifically shy when I was young so I guess it’s from me.  I was lucky enough to be good a football so I think I was by default popular at school. Hoping for something similar for him. 
 

Like Renton, I don’t really care these days and could easily hold a room or do a presentation. That’s definitely a learnt emotion/skill. 

This rings true with me too.

 

Eldest is very bright but very shy / socially awkward. My youngest is poor academically but very sociable.

 

It could just work itself out - a more confident kid in his class will talk about something they both like and boom, they become friends and share the love of that shared activity. With my son it was computer games, and suddenly he has a strong friendship group. Keep him doing group activities like football so he's always around other kids and gets his confidence up as it will definitely help.

[ewerk 30598]

43 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said:

Oddly, his older brother is socially amazing. He is like a celebrity at school although he is academically struggling, as he has severe dyslexia so he has his different challenges. 

 

Based on absolutely nothing then maybe that's part of reason? Has he spent most of his life being overshadowed by his brother in social situations? If so then it's maybe something he'll get past as he becomes more independent in school.

 

Has he socialised much with other kids before school? I know why nephews didn't go to kids groups, creches or anything like that and all of them took time adapting to other kids of the same age when they went to school but they got there eventually, it was just something totally alien to them.

[The Fish 10856]

We were worried about our little'un starting school. He can be shy at times. The concern was that the school has a nursery attached that he didn't go to, so half the kids in his class would already know each other and he'd know no one.  It soon sorted itself out.