ewerk 33651 Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 Well I’ve been blessed with the delights of food poisoning or norovirus for the long weekend. Woke up at 4.30am about to puke and nearly made it to the bathroom in time but instead ended up trying to aim my projectile stream of puke into the toilet from about ten feet away resulting in covering nearly the entire back wall in vomit. I’ve since been sick about five times resulting in burst blood vessels all round my eyes and been on the shitter about 15 times today. Unable to keep any liquids down, genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt worse. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 51221 Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 Got any Easter eggs going spare? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 37287 Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 On 08/04/2023 at 13:17, ewerk said: Well I’ve been blessed with the delights of food poisoning or norovirus for the long weekend. Woke up at 4.30am about to puke and nearly made it to the bathroom in time but instead ended up trying to aim my projectile stream of puke into the toilet from about ten feet away resulting in covering nearly the entire back wall in vomit. I’ve since been sick about five times resulting in burst blood vessels all round my eyes and been on the shitter about 15 times today. Unable to keep any liquids down, genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt worse. Expand Fucking hell. I hope you’re over it soon 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45838 Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 On 08/04/2023 at 13:17, ewerk said: Well I’ve been blessed with the delights of food poisoning or norovirus for the long weekend. Woke up at 4.30am about to puke and nearly made it to the bathroom in time but instead ended up trying to aim my projectile stream of puke into the toilet from about ten feet away resulting in covering nearly the entire back wall in vomit. I’ve since been sick about five times resulting in burst blood vessels all round my eyes and been on the shitter about 15 times today. Unable to keep any liquids down, genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt worse. Expand Did you stand up to wipe though? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 33651 Posted April 8, 2023 Share Posted April 8, 2023 On 08/04/2023 at 13:41, Alex said: Fucking hell. I hope you’re over it soon Expand Well I haven’t wretched for an hour so maybe over the worst of it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11344 Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 Great way to lose weight, the norovirus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 4296 Posted April 9, 2023 Share Posted April 9, 2023 On 08/04/2023 at 13:52, ewerk said: Well I haven’t wretched for an hour so maybe over the worst of it. Expand I was going to make a joke about the difference between wretch and retch but then realised your lack of education isn’t a laughing matter. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 11811 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 😂 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 23962 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 On 08/04/2023 at 13:17, ewerk said: Well I’ve been blessed with the delights of food poisoning or norovirus for the long weekend. Woke up at 4.30am about to puke and nearly made it to the bathroom in time but instead ended up trying to aim my projectile stream of puke into the toilet from about ten feet away resulting in covering nearly the entire back wall in vomit. I’ve since been sick about five times resulting in burst blood vessels all round my eyes and been on the shitter about 15 times today. Unable to keep any liquids down, genuinely don’t think I’ve ever felt worse. Expand shit the bed! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7822 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 On 10/04/2023 at 08:16, Toonpack said: 😂 Expand Am I missing something? (Or are other people not seeing the huge video camera filming the scene?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 33651 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 On 09/04/2023 at 22:23, Kevin Carr's Gloves said: I was going to make a joke about the difference between wretch and retch but then realised your lack of education isn’t a laughing matter. Expand ‘PLEASE SIR, HELP ME, I’M DIEING’ ’No, young man. I think you’ll find you’re DYING. Now please find your way off this mortal coil’ 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 4296 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 On 10/04/2023 at 21:35, ewerk said: ‘PLEASE SIR, HELP ME, I’M DIEING’ ’No, young man. I think you’ll find you’re DYING. Now please find your way off this mortal coil’ Expand A wretched man might retch but retching does not make you a wretch. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strawb 4671 Posted April 10, 2023 Share Posted April 10, 2023 On unrelated boring semantic news. I’m off to Northcote Manor tomorrow night for a feed and a sleep. Never had sweetbreads before but fuck me im going to give it a good go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 11344 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 On 10/04/2023 at 19:29, Kid Dynamite said: Am I missing something? (Or are other people not seeing the huge video camera filming the scene?) Expand I didn't clock that on the first watch, but I did clock the exaggerated pause, dramatic turn, zero resistance from the woman. 100% for a movie or tv show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 23335 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 They've recently got a wireless in the office. Put greatest hits on. It's at a quiet level where it's nice bit of background noise. Then Ken BASTARD Bruce joined the station. His patter is fucking wank. Yet mad cunts were in uproar of him leaving Radio 2. Says everything about their listener base. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 16620 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 On 11/04/2023 at 10:14, wykikitoon said: They've recently got a wireless in the office. Put greatest hits on. It's at a quiet level where it's nice bit of background noise. Then Ken BASTARD Bruce joined the station. His patter is fucking wank. Yet mad cunts were in uproar of him leaving Radio 2. Says everything about their listener base. Expand 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 5316 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 On 11/04/2023 at 10:14, wykikitoon said: They've recently got a wireless in the office. Put greatest hits on. It's at a quiet level where it's nice bit of background noise. Then Ken BASTARD Bruce joined the station. His patter is fucking wank. Yet mad cunts were in uproar of him leaving Radio 2. Says everything about their listener base. Expand There's something about you wyki, youre both the most predictable person in the world and yet I can never begin to guess what youre going to be really mad about next. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 16620 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 Acorns? Let me tell you a thing or two about FUCKING acorns... 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12671 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 On 11/04/2023 at 10:52, Andrew said: There's something about you wyki, youre both the most predictable person in the world and yet I can never begin to guess what youre going to be really mad about next. Expand 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 37157 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 On 11/04/2023 at 10:14, wykikitoon said: They've recently got a wireless in the office. Put greatest hits on. It's at a quiet level where it's nice bit of background noise. Then Ken BASTARD Bruce joined the station. His patter is fucking wank. Yet mad cunts were in uproar of him leaving Radio 2. Says everything about their listener base. Expand @PaddockLad quite likes Ken Bruce, I'm sure? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 19331 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 On 11/04/2023 at 11:15, Howmanheyman said: @PaddockLad quite likes Ken Bruce, I'm sure? Expand Ken Bruce is the go to mild mannered easy going mid morning broadcaster. Wykiki obviously doesn’t want his perusal of Ferret Fanciers Weekly spoiled by KB’s polished brogue whilst sipping a small skip sized cup of Yorkshire tea and nibbling on a Pontefract cake 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 23335 Posted April 11, 2023 Share Posted April 11, 2023 On 11/04/2023 at 11:37, PaddockLad said: Ken Bruce is the go to mild mannered easy going mid morning broadcaster. Wykiki obviously doesn’t want his perusal of Ferret Fanciers Weekly spoiled by KB’s polished brogue whilst sipping a small skip sized cup of Yorkshire tea and nibbling on a Pontefract cake Expand You two share the same 'register?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonpack 11811 Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 On 11/04/2023 at 12:15, wykikitoon said: You two share the same 'register?' Expand Whilst you are on a rageister. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex 37287 Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 I think the only time Ken Bruce would get an airing is on the occasional long car journey. As a bit of a ‘neutral’ option. I can’t quite see how he’d piss anyone off that much though. Even wyki 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinRobin 12671 Posted April 12, 2023 Share Posted April 12, 2023 On 12/04/2023 at 09:52, Alex said: I think the only time Ken Bruce would get an airing is on the occasional long car journey. As a bit of a ‘neutral’ option. I can’t quite see how he’d piss anyone off that much though. Even wyki Expand I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous response 🙂 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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