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Feel like I'm going a bit mad right now so want opinions.

 

My Dad is ill in hospital and quite likely he will die there. The system in Northumbria is shit imo, only one nominated visitor allowed because of covid which is my mum, so I can't see him. I talk on the phone but he is usually quite confused, not ideal. It's an improvement on my sister's time admittedly, when they wouldn't let anyone in and she died alone. 

 

Anyhow, my brother comes up occasionally to help out. This morning I saw my mum and she was complaining of general lethargy, and couldn't taste things properly. My brother took her for a walk in covid test. Then later drove her to the hospital to see my Dad, before the results were known (still aren't).

 

I fucking lost it. Anybody whose had a test knows they have to stay at home until you get the result. But to literally go to a geriatric ward and risk spreading the virus? I'm still fucking livid, and now during an incredibly stressful time my parents support have fallen down cos we can't talk to each other. The level of covidiocy is unreal but he's unrepentant and now I can't face talking to him. Not what I need now. 

 

Am I overreacting? I honestly don't know. 

 

 

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You've a good right to be foaming but you'll have to work around each other it's that simple. If your mam has covid and was the only one designated to see your Dad then does let one of you take her place whilst she's isolating?

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4 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

You've a good right to be foaming but you'll have to work around each other it's that simple. If your mam has covid and was the only one designated to see your Dad then does let one of you take her place whilst she's isolating?

 

I don't know. My presumption is she's negative. If she proves to be positive, I will have to tell the ward what's happened. Honestly I think in that situation I'll have to replace her as the contact. My Dad would be happy with that in all honesty.

 

But visiting a geriatric ward when you might have covid? I seriously can't get my head around it. Insane levels of selfishness. From mum (I'm posh) and brother. 

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Loads of people including some of my own family seem to think the rules should apply to everyone apart from when it inconveniences them. I’m past being outraged it now. Not that I think it makes it alright. Can fully appreciate why this would make you feel the way it does though, Renton 

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On 24/09/2021 at 20:17, Dr Gloom said:

Definitely feels like mask compliance has slipped in London this past month.  I have been out and about more and more and have forgotten to put my mask on once or twice in busy places myself where as a few months ago that would never have happened. Partially COVID fatigue but also just that feeling that normal life is resuming - people heading back to work, hospitality fully functioning again. 

Most people down here are carrying on like the pandemic is over, which I think it is, kind of. It’s endemic now, no longer spreading exponentially. Just a massive inconvenience/threat hanging over us indefinitely. 

The difference in mask wearing between London and NI was stark although it's still mandatory over here. There's seemed to be decent compliance on the trains but absolutely no one in the shops I was in was wearing it. Even in Gatwick where it's a requirement I'd say there was about 20% of people not bothering, one of which was that Scottish bellend off GB News (no not that one, the other one).

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14 minutes ago, ewerk said:

Aye that was him with his stupid looking scarf. You can bet he was masked up getting on the plane.

Always quite liked the stuff he did on tv like Coast etc but you have to question the beliefs of anyone signing up to GB News. 

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42 minutes ago, ewerk said:

The difference in mask wearing between London and NI was stark although it's still mandatory over here. There's seemed to be decent compliance on the trains but absolutely no one in the shops I was in was wearing it. Even in Gatwick where it's a requirement I'd say there was about 20% of people not bothering, one of which was that Scottish bellend off GB News (no not that one, the other one).

the train and buses aren't so bad because at least there is some ventilation but i made the mistake of getting a tube when it was busy the other day and i'd estimate probably 80% of passengers weren't wearing masks - some bloke was stood practically face to face, breathing all over me. absolutely grim. 

 

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1 hour ago, ewerk said:

It's weapons grade stupidity but it's done now. There's no point in adding more bad feeling at what is already an incredibly stressful time for you and your family.

 

You're right of course but the thing is this isn't something that happened behind my back. I argued with my brother, told him my mum was breaking the law and putting lots of people's lives ar unnecessary risk, practically begged him, but he just ignored me and did it anyway. 

 

The nominated person set up is also shit. If you're the nominated person you can enter even if you're not vaccinated. But I can't,  even though he may be in hospital for weeks. Not until his prognosis is less then 24 hours. He was begging me on the phone to.come and see him last night but I can't. Also I have had to put a DNR on him and need to work out how to get power of attorney. Life really is unbearably shit at the moment, what a cunt of a year its been. 

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20 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

You're right of course but the thing is this isn't something that happened behind my back. I argued with my brother, told him my mum was breaking the law and putting lots of people's lives ar unnecessary risk, practically begged him, but he just ignored me and did it anyway. 

 

The nominated person set up is also shit. If you're the nominated person you can enter even if you're not vaccinated. But I can't,  even though he may be in hospital for weeks. Not until his prognosis is less then 24 hours. He was begging me on the phone to.come and see him last night but I can't. Also I have had to put a DNR on him and need to work out how to get power of attorney. Life really is unbearably shit at the moment, what a cunt of a year its been. 

Sorry to hear that mate it sounds an  awful situation your in 

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Cheers lads, not looking for sympathy, honestly, I do find venting on this place therapeutic though. We all have to face our parents demise at some point, and I'm lucky to have had mine for so long. Just covid makes it so much harder, even if you're not directly affected by it. Families make it harder too. ;)

 

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a bloke i work with just lost his father-in-law to covid. he's greek and they were out there visiting as they knew he was on his last legs, but they weren't allowed to see him once he was admitted to hospital and he had to die alone. his mrs is understandably distraught. 

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On 27/09/2021 at 10:13, Renton said:

 

You're right of course but the thing is this isn't something that happened behind my back. I argued with my brother, told him my mum was breaking the law and putting lots of people's lives ar unnecessary risk, practically begged him, but he just ignored me and did it anyway. 

 

The nominated person set up is also shit. If you're the nominated person you can enter even if you're not vaccinated. But I can't,  even though he may be in hospital for weeks. Not until his prognosis is less then 24 hours. He was begging me on the phone to.come and see him last night but I can't. Also I have had to put a DNR on him and need to work out how to get power of attorney. Life really is unbearably shit at the moment, what a cunt of a year its been. 

Sorry to hear this mate. My dad was able to swap nominated person between himself and my Godfather's two sons for weeks before Jim died, is that not possible for your Dad?

 

The Office of the Public Guardian might be able to give you advice on Power of Attorney? That said it's a civil service department, so I'm not sure how efficient they'll be.

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On 27/09/2021 at 15:11, Renton said:

Cheers lads, not looking for sympathy, honestly, I do find venting on this place therapeutic though. We all have to face our parents demise at some point, and I'm lucky to have had mine for so long. Just covid makes it so much harder, even if you're not directly affected by it. Families make it harder too. ;)

 

 

Sorry to hear of this Rents. And for arguing about pointless shite with you in the politics thread.

 

I'd be furious too, but as everyone has said really, I think for the sake of your dad you should park it for now and try to get on. Hopefully your mum is negative anyway.

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7 minutes ago, Rayvin said:

 

Sorry to hear of this Rents. And for arguing about pointless shite with you in the politics thread.

 

I'd be furious too, but as everyone has said really, I think for the sake of your dad you should park it for now and try to get on. Hopefully your mum is negative anyway.

 

 Cheers mate. Again, arguing about pointless shit on the internet is therapeutic! This board anyway (admittedly somewhat an echo chamber), wouldn't fancy some of the nastier places on Gemmill's browser history though. 

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