Brock Manson 0 Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Sewing myself a pair of (faux) fur gauntlets for next week's viking metal gig. Pretty fucking metal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15531 Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 http://ikeaordeath.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4725 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 Just had to take a blind chap shopping at Asda. Very strange experience having to describe various items and other stuff you just take for granted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44894 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 CT basically treating this bloke like he's just thawed him out of a piece of prehistoric ice. "This is a banana. Can you say that? BA-NA-NA. We eat these. You probably don't understand eating, here feel my face as I chew it." I hope you took the opportunity to get your weekly shop for free btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33234 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 You just know CT told him how much he loved the video of 'hello' by Lional Richie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42458 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 CT basically treating this bloke like he's just thawed him out of a piece of prehistoric ice. "This is a banana. Can you say that? BA-NA-NA. We eat these. You probably don't understand eating, here feel my face as I chew it." I hope you took the opportunity to get your weekly shop for free btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14011 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 I work with a blind lass - she's got a dog to take her about - and funnily enough an obese (clinically but not morbidly) taxi driver takes her to and from work. She's pretty sound with it and it's amazing how she gets around without any bother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4725 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 CT basically treating this bloke like he's just thawed him out of a piece of prehistoric ice. "This is a banana. Can you say that? BA-NA-NA. We eat these. You probably don't understand eating, here feel my face as I chew it." I hope you took the opportunity to get your weekly shop for free btw. Tears Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 You just know CT told him how much he loved the video of 'hello' by Lional Richie. Definitely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33234 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 CT: "Is it true your other four senses make up for the loss of sight?" Blind Gadgie: "Aye, in a way." CT: "Wowwww! How good must a bacon sandwich smell?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10857 Posted October 11, 2013 Share Posted October 11, 2013 CT basically treating this bloke like he's just thawed him out of a piece of prehistoric ice. "This is a banana. Can you say that? BA-NA-NA. We eat these. You probably don't understand eating, here feel my face as I chew it." I hope you took the opportunity to get your weekly shop for free btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33234 Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 Was supposed to be taking my folks to the airport in the last hour but my Mam has been bad again, she was in hospital about 6 weeks ago and it's something where nerves don't help. Feel sorry for them as this would probably have been their last foreign holiday after having none at all until about ten years ago, (they're in their late sixties). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 33234 Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 And now for something completely different.......... ......Who is BillyTray and why does he/she never post? Post something, anything, or you don't exist!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonGoodwyn 1 Posted October 12, 2013 Share Posted October 12, 2013 http://ikeaordeath.com/ 18/20 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 So, apparently a penis beaker is a thing. Fot those who have not heard of it, it's a small beaker of water you leave on the bed side table to dip your knob in after sex to clean it, whilst the lass is in the bog obviously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7030 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 A dip isn't going to get it very clean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Yeah I saw that, although the description I read used the word 'dunk'. I find it amusing, the idea of standing with your legs apart then ceremoniously bending then straightening your knees to plunge your chap in and out of this beaker as if it were a chocolate digestive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30616 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Far too much chance that I could reach over during the night and confuse it with my drinking water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desmondTUTU 0 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 the social sector of my life has developed stunning likenesses to the mackem boom/bust cycle. it goes something like this: Sunday: wake up feeling like death and spend the afternoon contemplating not doing it again monday/tuesday: still feel shit/paranoid delusional panic attack watching over my shoulder wednesday: realise i have finally turned the corner and given things up thursday: plan a relaxing weekend with a nice meal and a film to watch on saturday night. friday: end the working week feeling that i deserve a drink or two on saturday afternoon. saturday: have the deserved drink or two on saturday afternoon as the afternoon spirals into the evening and 5am hits in no time. this can be magnified if the toon win Sunday: wake up feeling like death and spend the afternoon contemplating not doing it again and so on. i probably need some kind of professional help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44894 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 You just need your hangovers to get worse, and it'll become a no brainer to change your ways. Depending on your age, this could be just around the corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desmondTUTU 0 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 the only thing that will stop it is when i have a son or daughter. ive tried everything, hiding bank cards, deleting phone numbers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44894 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 I've got a mate who was in a similar boat, except he was always the wanker on nights out cos of the state he got in. He would go to weddings and cause grief for the bride and groom by offending people etc. Anyway he went for hypnotherapy cos everyone was falling out with him, and that sorted him out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desmondTUTU 0 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 its not that bad, cant be doing my health any favours though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 7030 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 I've got a mate who was in a similar boat, except he was always the wanker on nights out cos of the state he got in. He would go to weddings and cause grief for the bride and groom by offending people etc. Anyway he went for hypnotherapy cos everyone was falling out with him, and that sorted him out. Hypnotherapy!? Why didn't he just stop getting smashed. Would have been cheaper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmill 44894 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Ah he's loaded. His family have always had cash so that wasn't an issue. Getting someone to fix something that he was too weak willed to fix himself was the best option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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