Matt 0 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Work have packed me off to Leeds this week and I was sitting in the bar watching Andy Gray's last word bit before heading on to the restaurant for a spot of 'table for one' loser food. As if from nowhere some skanky drunk bint sits just across from me. "Are you going to buy me a drink?" "No." "Why not" "Because I'm watching the football" "If you buy me a drink I'll leave you along forever" "Get lost" So she gets up and goes. Now I figure something isn't up as she clearly ain't a guest in the hotel and I start wondering about the quality of doormanship going on at the entrance. Sure enough, 5 minutes later she's back, and it looks like she's successfully wangled a drink out of some poor bastard. "Will you talk for me for two minutes" "No." "Go on" "No. Look, you can have one. One minute" "No, Two." "Look just clear off, I'm just having a drink now do one" So this time I head off towards the restaurant and give my room number etc and sure as hell, she follows a minute later. "Look I've told you to get get lost" (at this point I am aware of the potential of causing a scene and i'm trying very hard not to unleash a sweary tirade). The waiting staff at the booking desk didn't seem to know what to do. Thankfully the head waiter was on and says 'come this way sir' and I quickly explain what's going on. Eventually she fucks off. She seemed upset at the dirty looks I was giving- and I really was being a horrible bastard- but what else can I do- I wouldn't even want to be in the same postcode as the daft drunk cow never mind sat near her. It's really pissed me off. I was pretty freaked out at the time (first was wondering if the hotel staff had been as so careless as to let 'street workers' in). I must have looked a right tool. I might just stay clear of there for the remainder of my trip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nufc4ever 0 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Which hotel was it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt 0 Posted April 2, 2006 Author Share Posted April 2, 2006 Which hotel was it? 113681[/snapback] The Hilton! Should have followed some advice I got and booked the Metropole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howaythetoon 0 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Should have nobbed her tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Raging bender tbh, you could've been in there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howaythetoon 0 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 While she was eyeing a nobbing, you were telling all this to your dictaphone. Raving hermo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottish Mag 3 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Raging bender tbh, you could've been in there 113687[/snapback] Listen to the stud after his escapades in Jormany! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Sounds like a call girl to me. The often hang around the bars in big city hotels trying to pick up business men on their own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt 0 Posted April 2, 2006 Author Share Posted April 2, 2006 I'd sooner put me knob into a circular saw. Absolutely rancid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Raging bender tbh, you could've been in there 113687[/snapback] Listen to the stud after his escapades in Jormany! 113695[/snapback] She gave me her necklace so that I won't forget her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scottish Mag 3 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Raging bender tbh, you could've been in there 113687[/snapback] Listen to the stud after his escapades in Jormany! 113695[/snapback] She gave me her necklace so that I won't forget her 113704[/snapback] But did you give her (a pearl) one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 i once had a bit of a frolick at the hilton in sheffield with some bird. she worked on the railways and gave me her whistle when we parted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 My Dad used to run hotels and worked all over the country, he's seen allsorts of this kind of thing over the years. The one I always remember was a place in Teddington not far from Heathrow. A football journalist for a broadsheet sunday paper used to turn up before flying out to cover european games. He'd book in under a false name, meet an 'escort' and go to his room with a bag of fruit & veg to indulge in his fetish. Couple of hours later he'd check out again and go and catch his flight. The chambermaids would then go and change the sheets which were covered in slightly squashed/mis-shapen bananas, cucumbers, courgettes etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 i once had a bit of a frolick at the hilton in sheffield with some bird. she worked on the railways and gave me her whistle when we parted. 113707[/snapback] But did she blow your whistle? Blow my whistle bitch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted April 2, 2006 Share Posted April 2, 2006 Ah, Leeds women. *shudders*. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wullie 0 Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 My Dad used to run hotels and worked all over the country, he's seen allsorts of this kind of thing over the years. The one I always remember was a place in Teddington not far from Heathrow. A football journalist for a broadsheet sunday paper used to turn up before flying out to cover european games. He'd book in under a false name, meet an 'escort' and go to his room with a bag of fruit & veg to indulge in his fetish. Couple of hours later he'd check out again and go and catch his flight. The chambermaids would then go and change the sheets which were covered in slightly squashed/mis-shapen bananas, cucumbers, courgettes etc. 113708[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 31600 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 PB the filthy fucker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S-I-S-S-O-K-O 0 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I can believe that, he's got that look about him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 If only we knew a football journo to send a basket of fruit to. In respect of his fine penmanship and all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted June 20, 2009 Share Posted June 20, 2009 I'm not sure who was inserting what into whom, but someone was getting their 5-a-day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 If only we knew a football journo to send a basket of fruit to. In respect of his fine penmanship and all that. hmmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 He's gone up in my estimation after the perusal of such hotelling antics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2207 Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 Tuppenny whore: "Oooh go on lover boy, show me the pen is mightier than the sword" PB: "Never mind that you dirty bitch, get yer minge round me courgette! " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandman02uk 0 Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 Surely you could send a fruit basket to PB "apologising" for calling his article into question and offering the fruit basket as a token of friendship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now