GeeForce 0 Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 Said to my mate...my arsehole is fucking knackin, any idea what it might be? He replied "Ring Sting" I said "why like, do you think he'll know? Absolutely superb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 As a photographer, my favourite picture has to be the one of my wife hanging in the hall. As a professional, I just couldn't resist taking a photo before I cut her down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 6581 Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 (edited) Muslims and wanking are kind of similar. When no one is looking i like to knock one out. One for LeazesMag Edited March 9, 2011 by Holden McGroin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 6581 Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 I just opened my freezer and saw a little alien having a wank. I said "What the fuck are you doing?" He said "I cum in peas" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
south_cheshire_toon 0 Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 I was lost in the desert the other week, and anyway, I saw this sign saying ' this way to success -->' So I followed it. Anyway, after awhile I came upon a tent. I walked inside and there was this big black guy - and he said ' Hi I'm Cess '. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
south_cheshire_toon 0 Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 Did you here about the kleptomanic with no hands who killed himself ? Apparently He just couldn't take any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
south_cheshire_toon 0 Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 (edited) Steve Wonder is being interviewed for a TV show, and the guy says :- 'Stevie, what's it like being blind ?' To which Stevie replies :- 'Better than being fucking Black' Edited March 10, 2011 by south_cheshire_toon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeeForce 0 Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 My wife gets really annoyed when I use the word 'cunt.' I suppose she's got a point, I really should make the effort to learn her mother's real name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10849 Posted March 10, 2011 Share Posted March 10, 2011 Fucked up and put diesel in the Escort last night she died... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I just opened my freezer and saw a little alien having a wank. I said "What the fuck are you doing?" He said "I cum in peas" Me likey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelus71 4 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I see Newcastle united are huge in Japan at the moment....people keep running around shouting "toon army, toon army"....oh wait....I misheard them, they're shouting Tsunami, Tsunami ............................................. I know it's crap, but I've only been awake for 5 minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30555 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 That was enough to get Rodney Marsh the sack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgentAxeman 178 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 I was waiting for the Tsunami jokes to come flooding in................................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted March 11, 2011 Share Posted March 11, 2011 My japanesse girlfriends just dumped me Nevermind, plenty more in the sea! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 What's the easiest way to pick up Japanese women? JCB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7083 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 ouch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Please dont post any more jokes bout the japanese earthquake disaster!, as a real close friend of mine has died out there. R.I.P So Kin Wet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4377 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 What's the easiest way to pick up Japanese women? JCB. I like that but bottled telling it at work - lad opposite me has a Japanese wife - no friends or relatives affected but still. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Please dont post any more jokes bout the japanese earthquake disaster!, as a real close friend of mine has died out there.R.I.P So Kin Wet I heard his family are absolutely crushed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Dear Fukushima, Welcome to the 6 finger club! Yours Sincerely, Sunderland(nr. Newcastle). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelus71 4 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 In Japan, they don't go to the beach.... The beach comes to them!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42379 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Q:How many Tourette's sufferers does it take to change a lightbulb? A:Fuck Off I just saw that ad, "Dont be afraid to talk about mental health" I thought to myself "Who's afraid of talking about that?" "Some people find it difficult." Ireplied. "Fucking loons" said the kettle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Most girls I meet have legs like oysters. I can't get them open unless I use a knife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 99 Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 RIP Eddie Stobart I see they are making a film about him? I've just seen the trailer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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