Tooj 17 Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 My son invited his posh friend to his birthday party. I asked him "What's your favourite game, Tarquin?" He said "Partridge, but I'm partial to grouse in season." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Get off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welsh Magpie 0 Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 My son invited his posh friend to his birthday party. I asked him "What's your favourite game, Tarquin?" He said "Partridge, but I'm partial to grouse in season." its bad taste joke thread, not bad joke thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 My English teacher said my grammar is shit........I said well your grandad's a cunt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42141 Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Who says men can't multi-task? I was shagging this girl last night in the park, whilst covering her mouth AND looking out for any nearby policemen all at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Idioteque 0 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 "According to a recent survey, 1 in 20 of us live next door to a peadophile! I don't, I live next door to two stunning 11 year olds!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 erm something about peados and eleven year olds next door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42141 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 erm something about peados and eleven year olds next door. Heard it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7073 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 erm something about peados and eleven year olds next door. Heard it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10791 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 erm something about peados and eleven year olds next door. Heard it. ... at the hearing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42141 Posted February 24, 2011 Share Posted February 24, 2011 erm something about peados and eleven year olds next door. Heard it. ... at the hearing? Jealousy is a terrible thing Fish, they don't just let any old bugger on the List. Elite only Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42141 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 Not bad taste, but… I fell over at the cash machine earlier, but it did say "Balance on screen" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayatollah Hermione 13840 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I thought I saw a loaf of bread with your name on it today but it said "Thick Cut" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 The standard in hear is plummeting but if anything I laugh more at crap jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I don't know why my Grandad is so proud of being a holocaust survivor. Most of the Nazis were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 99 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I don't know why my Grandad is so proud of being a holocaust survivor. Most of the Nazis were. Just noticed your avi, that Lifeforms, FSOL? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 I don't know why my Grandad is so proud of being a holocaust survivor. Most of the Nazis were. Just noticed your avi, that Lifeforms, FSOL? It is, aye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgentAxeman 174 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Don't you hate it when your finger rips through the toilet paper and goes all the way up the bum. It happens that often, my wife has banned me from wiping our daughter's ass from now on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig 6682 Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 My English teacher said my grammar is shit........I said well your grandad's a cunt? Brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42141 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 I went to an X-men convention the other day - it was full of trannies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Said to my mate...my arsehole is fucking knackin, any idea what it might be? He replied "Ring Sting" I said "why like, do you think he'll know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42141 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 19985 Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 * Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters. I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their splendid sense of humour. Chris Scaife, Jesmond * What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being the world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that. * Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just like to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's m!nge. He hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh? P Boddington, Ringway * Imagine my shock at getting a letter from my doctor advising me I only had a month to live but thankfully the letter was not for me but for my son with the same name who lives with us. Close call, Yours * What is it with diabetics? One minute they're on the floor with a loved one standing by screaming "Give him some chocolate! Give him some chocolate!" The next day someone offers them a piece of chocolate and quick as a flash they say "No thanks, I'm diabetic." I wish they'd get their story straight. * I have just returned from a diplomatic trip to the Congo and I can testify that at no point did I see anyone drinking Um Bongo. * WHY DON'T NHS bosses start hiring obsessive compulsives as nurses? Their attention to hygiene and constant hand washing would see an end to MRSA outbreaks in no time. * Why is it that pubs won't serve me if I'm drunk, but McDonalds continue serving them fat f***ers? It’s hardly fair. * Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius * the person who coined the phrase "as different as chalk and cheese" obviously hadn't tasted Kwik Save's cheddar. * They say football is a game of two halves. Not for me it isn’t. I regularly down eight or nine pints whilst watching a live game on Sky TV in my local. * If, as Freddie Mercury claimed, fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go round, isn't it about time that the city of Glasgow received some recognition for its contribution to astrophysics? * These so-called speed bumps are a joke. If anything, they slow you down * We should remember the tremendous contribution of the Queen Mother to the war effort: as the BBC pointed out, she "bravely remained in London beside her husband" during the war. This contrasts sharply with the actions of my grandfather who, on the declaration of war immediately left his wife and children and p*ssed off, first to France , then North Africa , Italy , France (again) and finally Germany . The shame will always be with us. * Like the Queen Mum, my grandfather was a frequent visitor to the East End during the dark days of the blitz, but he was never hailed as a hero by the people of London . That's because he flew Heinkel bombers for the Luftwaffe. Werner Hoffman, Munich . * I would just like to say a big thank you to all those wonderful young people who stand on motorway slip roads (and in any weather) holding up boards telling us motorists where they lead to. * Davina McCall says that dangling off a helicopter over the Grand Canyon on a 700 foot bungee rope was the most terrifying and dangerous thing she has ever done. She must be forgetting that she went out with Stan Collymore. * So Sting is able to shag his wife for five hours without going off. I know how he feels. My wife is no oil painting either. * I heard recently that, on average, Gordon Brown receives two turds in the post each week. What I want to know is................. Who’s sending the other one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveTheBobby 1 Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted March 8, 2011 Share Posted March 8, 2011 I recently had my internet cut off because I had Virgin Media. Or as the police want to call it, 'Child pornography' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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