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The Bad Taste Joke Thread....


Craig
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Probably get some greif for this but..

 

Copper spots a huge black bloke dancing on the roof of a car. He calls for backup.

 

'What's the situation' say base.

 

'There's a massive darkie dancing on a car roof!' says the copper.

 

'You can't say that over the radio, officer, you have to use the official terminology.' say base.

 

'Right..' says the copper..

 

'Zulu Tango Sierra!'

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Probably get some greif for this but..

 

Copper spots a huge black bloke dancing on the roof of a car. He calls for backup.

 

'What's the situation' say base.

 

'There's a massive darkie dancing on a car roof!' says the copper.

 

'You can't say that over the radio, officer, you have to use the official terminology.' say base.

 

'Right..' says the copper..

 

'Zulu Tango Sierra!'

 

Bet the original was worded slightly differently ;)

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My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex.

Just this morning she asked, "Is that the best you can do?"

 

When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids.

Took her out with one fucking punch.

 

My wife says it's disgusting to piss in the bath.

I suppose I should wait until she gets out.

 

Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

 

The other day I told my neighbour Jerome that he was like Marmite.

He said, "What, you either love me or you hate me?"

I said, "No, you're dark and you smell."

 

Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez.

It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after.

 

Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!!!

 

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed.

How could anyone stoop so low?

 

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night... I wanted my first time to be special.

 

I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends?

 

I was asked to run a marathon and I said, "no chance."

Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids, so I thought, "Fuck it. I could win that!"

 

I had a mate who was suicidal.

He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.

He was chuffed to bits.

 

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?"

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My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex.

Just this morning she asked, "Is that the best you can do?"

 

When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids.

Took her out with one fucking punch.

 

My wife says it's disgusting to piss in the bath.

I suppose I should wait until she gets out.

 

Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

 

The other day I told my neighbour Jerome that he was like Marmite.

He said, "What, you either love me or you hate me?"

I said, "No, you're dark and you smell."

 

Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez.

It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after.

 

Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!!!

 

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed.

How could anyone stoop so low?

 

I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night... I wanted my first time to be special.

 

I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends?

 

I was asked to run a marathon and I said, "no chance."

Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids, so I thought, "Fuck it. I could win that!"

 

I had a mate who was suicidal.

He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.

He was chuffed to bits.

 

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?"

 

;)

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Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.

Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.

 

Scientists have revealed today that they have found a new drug for depressed lesbians.

It's called Trydixagain.

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Just moved to a new house, I'll send you the address later, but its a rough area. Myra Hindley is the Avon lady, Fred West is the gardener, Louise Woodward is the babysitter , Harold Shipman is my new GP, Gary Glitter runs the play group, the M'Canns run the holiday club, Michael Jackson runs the local zoo and theme park! Saddam Hussien runs the ethnic group and Hitler is running the campsite! But most worrying of all is the fact that Rafa Benitez is running the local football club!

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Just moved to a new house, I'll send you the address later, but its a rough area. Myra Hindley is the Avon lady, Fred West is the gardener, Louise Woodward is the babysitter , Harold Shipman is my new GP, Gary Glitter runs the play group, the M'Canns run the holiday club, Michael Jackson runs the local zoo and theme park! Saddam Hussien runs the ethnic group and Hitler is running the campsite! But most worrying of all is the fact that Rafa Benitez is running the local football club!

 

Bit harsh to include them with Shipman, Glitter and Hindley. Innocent until proven guilty n'all that. :wank:

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In my biology exam today i was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparantly, Scousers and blacks is not the correct answer

 

What's the difference between an angry man and a gay arab? One's shaking a fist, the other's fisting a sheik.

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What's the difference between an angry man and a gay arab? One's shaking a fist, the other's fisting a sheik.

Ah, but is it an angry white man?

Barrowman! *shakeyfist*

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What's the difference between an angry man and a gay arab? One's shaking a fist, the other's fisting a sheik.

Ah, but is it an angry white man?

Barrowman! *shakeyfist*

With apologies to Bottom (appropriately enough): What's that disgusting smell? Have you been saying "John Barrowman" again?

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