adios 717 Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 (edited) What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron. I LOVE that joke!! ;) Edited November 14, 2006 by ObaGol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron. An oldy, but a goody. Along the lines of... Have youy seen Stevie Wonders new girlfriend? Neither has he. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 337 Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron. An oldy, but a goody. Along the lines of... Have youy seen Stevie Wonders new girlfriend? Neither has he. Sorry, but nowhere near as good as mine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WubbleUC 0 Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron. Thats fucking class! A man is talking to his wife in thier conservatory one afternoon. He turns to her, ans says, 'Dear, say something that will make me happy, but sad at the same time. You know?' She says 'Certainly dear. Your cock is a good few inches bigger than your brothers.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adios 717 Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron. Thats fucking class! A man is talking to his wife in thier conservatory one afternoon. He turns to her, ans says, 'Dear, say something that will make me happy, but sad at the same time. You know?' She says 'Certainly dear. Your cock is a good few inches bigger than your brothers.' How small are his brothers, like? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 The bravest man in the world is one who can stumble in the house, drunk at 3am, stagger upstairs with lipstick on his collar and smelling of another woman's perfume, jumping in bed, slapping his wife on the behind and saying: "You're next fatty!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 The bravest man in the world is one who can stumble in the house, drunk at 3am, stagger upstairs with lipstick on his collar and smelling of another woman's perfume, jumping in bed, slapping his wife on the behind and saying: "You're next fatty!" I think you're missing the rest of the joke there Brock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toplass-101 Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Octupus walks ino a bar, says... "I bet I can play any musical instrument"! Bloke gives him a guitar which he plays better than Jimmy Hendrix. 2nd Bloke says... "bet you cant play the piano". The octopus plays better then Elton John. Jock gives him bagpipes, the octupus fumbles for a minute and looks confused. Jock says... "Ha, can ya nae play it"? Octupus says... "Play it? I'm going to shag it as soon as I get its fucking pyjamas off". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Octupus walks ino a bar, says... "I bet I can play any musical instrument"! Bloke gives him a guitar which he plays better than Jimmy Hendrix. 2nd Bloke says... "bet you cant play the piano". The octopus plays better then Elton John. Jock gives him bagpipes, the octupus fumbles for a minute and looks confused. Jock says... "Ha, can ya nae play it"? Octupus says... "Play it? I'm going to shag it as soon as I get its fucking pyjamas off". Och man ya wee bonnie lassie ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toplass-101 Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Octupus walks ino a bar, says... "I bet I can play any musical instrument"! Bloke gives him a guitar which he plays better than Jimmy Hendrix. 2nd Bloke says... "bet you cant play the piano". The octopus plays better then Elton John. Jock gives him bagpipes, the octupus fumbles for a minute and looks confused. Jock says... "Ha, can ya nae play it"? Octupus says... "Play it? I'm going to shag it as soon as I get its fucking pyjamas off". Och man ya wee bonnie lassie ya! I'd guess that means it brought a smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toplass-101 Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 A tramp walks into a jewellers and casually begins to finger his own arse. Jeweller screams GET OUT. Tramp points to sign - COME IN AND PICK YOUR RING IN COMFORT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toplass-101 Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 (edited) 3 guys in speech therapy in Dublin. Woman says "if you can say where your from without stuttering I'll give you a blow-job." 1st Shaun says DDDDublin. Mick says CCCCork. Paddy says "London" she drops to her knees and sucks his cock, as he cums he shouts "DDDerry" In the village of Hurbum near Tillet Herts, lives Libby Lykes, who owns the Cockwell Inn: The address- Lybby Likes, The cockwell Inn, Herbum, Tillet, Herts. If a woman is uncomfortable watching you wank do you a. Think she is a prude b. You need to spend more time together or c. She should sit somewhere else on the bus ? An elderly Yorkshireman is on his deathbed. He can feel the end isn't far off, when he suddenly notices a wonderful aroma. He realises his loving wife of 60 years is baking his favourite food, Welsh cakes. He finds the strength to drag himself to the kitchen, and as he reaches his frail, withered hand up to the table, he suddenly feels the wack of a wooden spoon, as his wife barks, "Fuck off, they are for the funeral". Unloved? Feeling picked on? People always having a go at you ? Useless and smelly? Nows the time to look in the mirror and ask yourself... am I a paki? Edited December 2, 2006 by Toplass-101 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bombadil 0 Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Octupus walks ino a bar, says... "I bet I can play any musical instrument"! Bloke gives him a guitar which he plays better than Jimmy Hendrix. 2nd Bloke says... "bet you cant play the piano". The octopus plays better then Elton John. Jock gives him bagpipes, the octupus fumbles for a minute and looks confused. Jock says... "Ha, can ya nae play it"? Octupus says... "Play it? I'm going to shag it as soon as I get its fucking pyjamas off". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster 0 Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Two police officers making enquires into a recent crime spree call at a house door. A 7 year old boy answers wearing suspenders and stockings complete with a tub of vaselene in hand. Officer asks "Is your mum in?" Boy replies " Does it f**king look like it?!" --------------------------- 2 dyslexics rush into a bank with guns and shout: "Air in the hands motherstickers, this is a f**k up" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for christmas? Cancer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Sorry if this has been posted before, not reading the whole thread again: Little girl walks into the bathroom where her mother is in the bath, she points to her vagina and says "mummy whats that?" her mother replies "its a vagina, you will get one when your older" The little girl goes downstairs and walks into the toilet where her father is having a piss, she says "daddy, whats that?" her father replies "its a penis, you will get one in about 20mins when your mother goes out" Horse walks into a bar, barman says why the long face? Horse says, "just found out I've got aids" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Maul 0 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Sorry if this has been posted before, not reading the whole thread again: Little girl walks into the bathroom where her mother is in the bath, she points to her vagina and says "mummy whats that?" her mother replies "its a vagina, you will get one when your older" The little girl goes downstairs and walks into the toilet where her father is having a piss, she says "daddy, whats that?" her father replies "its a penis, you will get one in about 20mins when your mother goes out" Horse walks into a bar, barman says why the long face? Horse says, "just found out I've got aids" Shinton would be rolling in his grave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Sorry if this has been posted before, not reading the whole thread again: Little girl walks into the bathroom where her mother is in the bath, she points to her vagina and says "mummy whats that?" her mother replies "its a vagina, you will get one when your older" The little girl goes downstairs and walks into the toilet where her father is having a piss, she says "daddy, whats that?" her father replies "its a penis, you will get one in about 20mins when your mother goes out" Horse walks into a bar, barman says why the long face? Horse says, "just found out I've got aids" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron. An oldy, but a goody. Along the lines of... Have youy seen Stevie Wonders new girlfriend? Neither has he. Someone gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater for Christmas. He says it's the most violent book he's ever read! Think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10963 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Why is Stevie Wonder always Smiling? he doesn't know he's black. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Toplass-101 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, me feet are freeing mate, could you nip upstairs & get me slippers? No Bother he says & runs upstairs, & there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their bed. "Hello der girls, ur dad sent me up here the shag ya both". "Fuck off ya liar" they said, "I'll prove it" says murphy. So he shouts down the staris, "both of them Pat"? "Course, what the use of fucking one of them". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 Paddy applies for a job at the stables. "Can you shoe a horse?" asks the stablemaster. Paddy thinks about it, then replies: "No, but I once told a donkey to fuck off." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WubbleUC 0 Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Anyone fancy a bit of Rugby tomorrow? Ipswich are desperately short of hookers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gejon 2 Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Anyone fancy a bit of Rugby tomorrow? Ipswich are desperately short of hookers. Didn't get that till I was going to another thread, just thought it was a really poor rugby, hookers joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 31195 Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Anyone fancy a bit of Rugby tomorrow? Ipswich are desperately short of hookers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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