trophyshy 7516 Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 (edited) Monkeys Fist said: Not really bad taste, but… - Knock knock. - Who's there? - Ringo Starr's most complicated drumming. not really a joke either tbf. Edited October 26, 2010 by trophyshy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45993 Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 A woman comes home, and finds her husband in bed with a female midget. Furious, she screams "You promised me you wouldn't cheat again!" The husband replies " For fucks sake, can't you see I'm trying to cut down?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 On the sofa with my wife last night: Me: Honey, you remind me of an onion. Wife: Because I have so many layers to my personality? Me: No... Wife: Oh, OK, something stupid like you'll cry when you slice me up? ...Me: No... Wife: OK, OK, you'd prefer it if I was battered? Me: No... Wife: You either love me or hate me? I'm good in small doses? I can be overpowering?... Me: No... Wife: Oh, alright, why then? Me: You smell of onion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45993 Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 Mrs. Fist said she is leaving me because I'm too kinky in the bedroom. If it hadn't been for the Gimp mask,I'd have spat her piss out in shock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7516 Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 Monkeys Fist said: Mrs. Fist said she is leaving me because I'm too kinky in the bedroom.If it hadn't been for the Gimp mask,I'd have spat her piss out in shock. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45993 Posted October 26, 2010 Share Posted October 26, 2010 I'm not saying Mrs. Fist is fat but when she sings, it stops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac-Toon 1 Posted October 27, 2010 Share Posted October 27, 2010 Paul the psychic octopus has died? Big deal, he isn't the first thing to die in a tank in Germany. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shackbleep 0 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 A Spurs fan's new baby boy has been born with no eyelids. The doctors say they can operate using the foreskin from his circumcision but he runs the risk of being cock-eyed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shackbleep 0 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Met a girl in the park last night and there was an instant spark between us, she fell to my feet as I started to make mad passionate love her, I thought to myself... These taser guns are well worth the fucking money!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45993 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Latest scores ; L.Allen 2 - K. McCann 1 *I know , it is the BAD taste thread though* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4675 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Monkeys Fist said: Latest scores ; L.Allen 2 - K. McCann 1 Wonderfully sick - sickest for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 7826 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Oh Fist. Brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45993 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Doc told Lily, "it's alright… still" I'll stop now- sickened myself tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holden McGroin 7826 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Monkeys Fist said: Doc told Lily,"it's alright… still" I'll stop now- sickened myself tbh Is that even possible? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45993 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mac-Toon 1 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Monkeys Fist said: Latest scores ; L.Allen 2 - K. McCann 1 *I know , it is the BAD taste thread though* Judges you. I think you're fuckin' hilarious though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welsh Magpie 0 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Some of you people making jokes about Lily Allen losing her baby is just wrong. It's not fair and I think you're really mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7516 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 at first it made me cry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45993 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Welsh Magpie said: Some of you people making jokes about Lily Allen losing her baby is just wrong. It's not fair and I think you're really mean. It's not me It's you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Went on a major piss-up with the lads last night, woke up this morning lying next to the ugliest bastard you can imagine. That's when I realised I'd made it home safely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonamental 0 Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Hopefully these won't have been posted before... What will Jade Goody be doing this Christmas? Babysitting for Lily Allen. I called a rape advice line earlier. Unfortunately its just for victims. I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone. Apparently theres a spot all women have, that if you hit it just right, they'll do anything you say. It's called the face. After having sex with a girl from a council estate, there's nothing worse than looking down and seeing a split condom hanging from your cock. Especially when you weren't wearing one to start with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 45993 Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Bonamental said: Hopefully these won't have been posted before... What will Jade Goody be doing this Christmas? Babysitting for Lily Allen. I called a rape advice line earlier. Unfortunately its just for victims. I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone. Apparently theres a spot all women have, that if you hit it just right, they'll do anything you say. It's called the face. After having sex with a girl from a council estate, there's nothing worse than looking down and seeing a split condom hanging from your cock. Especially when you weren't wearing one to start with. :icon_lol: I doff my cap to thee ,sir. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 99 Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 What is the African equivalent of what we call wags? Gollywags.... (One for the Jam lovers out there) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welsh Magpie 0 Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 I just lost my job from the car wash after a Pakistani asked "how much for a full wash?" "Sorry, we only do cars." apparently is not a suitable reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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