Kevin 1 Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 What's the difference between Heath Ledger and an aborted fetus? The aborted fetus deserved to live. ---------- A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar. Heath Ledger's dead. ---------- Knock knock! Who's there? Not Heath Ledger because he's dead. ---------- Why did Heath Ledger cross the road? He can't because he's dead you ****ing idiot. ---------- What's the difference between Heath Ledger and a pile of shit? The shit is probably warmer. I heard his suicide note said, "10 things I hate about myself". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 99 Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 He didn't commit suicide btw. Just so you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 99 Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 Did I already post my Alzheimer's joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 (edited) He didn't commit suicide btw. Just so you know. Just keep telling yourself that Edited August 1, 2010 by Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 99 Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 He didn't commit suicide btw. Just so you know. Just keep telling yourself that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 He didn't commit suicide btw. Just so you know. Just keep telling yourself that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41339 Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 What's the biggest cause of paedophilia in this country? Sexy kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 A blackman takes a girl home from a nightclub after a night out. The woman says "show me if it's true what they say about black men". So he stabs her and nicks her purse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 Why don't black people dream? Because the last black person to have a dream got shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 What's black and doesn't work? Half of London. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted August 1, 2010 Share Posted August 1, 2010 I think i'll stop now.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41339 Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 People who are scared of paedophiles need to grow up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 A charity single has been recorded in aid of Pakistan flood relief. It's called Raindrops Keep Falling on Ahmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 19340 Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 What's the biggest cause of paedophilia in this country? Sexy kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TicTacWoe 0 Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 what have Colin McCrae's son Johnny and Madeleine McCann got in common? They both went down on their Dad's chopper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgentAxeman 166 Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 A charity single has been recorded in aid of Pakistan flood relief. It's called Raindrops Keep Falling on Ahmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 I got invited on the Jeremy Kyle show, to prove I wasn't the notorious thief my family made me out to be. I took a lie detector test, And got 50 quid for it at my local cash converters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41339 Posted August 5, 2010 Share Posted August 5, 2010 My wife said that watching our first born child take their first steps was the "proudest moment of her life".She has obviously never spun round on a chair and said "I've been expecting you" to someone. "I'm going to create man and woman with original sin. Then I'm going to impregnate a woman with myself as her child, so that I can be born in human form. Once alive, I will kill myself as a sacrifice to myself. To save you from the sin I originally condemned you to. Ta dah!"God - master of logic since the beginning of time. Talk about fucking Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I recently came back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan. Having not seen my wife for months I was looking forward to a night of hot passionate sex. Unfortunately she came out of the shower with a towel around her head, so I shot her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted August 6, 2010 Share Posted August 6, 2010 DON'T READ IF YOU'RE OFFENDED EASILY ABOUT DIANA A girl said to me earlier, "You've got the body of a God, shame it's Buddha!" I replied, "You've got a face like a princess, shame it's Diana's." That shut the bitch up. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41339 Posted August 26, 2010 Share Posted August 26, 2010 What's the difference between ''No not up the arse'' and 'mmm mmm mmm mmmmm''? Duct tape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted September 3, 2010 Share Posted September 3, 2010 Gary Glitter is currently enroute to Chile, he heard there was 33 trapped and helpless minors and it was just too tempting to ignore He keeps his boots at the bottom of Kevins bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted September 3, 2010 Share Posted September 3, 2010 Two midgets walk into a bar.. "I.D lads?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10430 Posted September 3, 2010 Share Posted September 3, 2010 Kev's been on the cheap cider again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin 1 Posted September 3, 2010 Share Posted September 3, 2010 Kev's been on the cheap cider again. I'm just out of work m'old Dave dear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 41339 Posted September 3, 2010 Share Posted September 3, 2010 I miss my wife an awful lot. Mind , when I do connect she's out for the count. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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