wykikitoon 19991 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 I tried giving a friend from Haiti a ring but i got no answer, i guess the phones set to vibrate at the moment. They say theres safety in numbers ..... 6 million Jews disagree Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4711 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 I still remember play time at school, a bit of footy,sneakin a quick cigarette &tryin 2 finger girls behind the bike sheds... I fuckin loved that caretakers job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4711 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 One of the kids nearly walked in on me when I was looking at the SAFC website on the laptop. Luckily I managed to whip my knob out and pretend to be having a wank, to save any embarrassment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WubbleUC 0 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Probably get some greif for this but.. Copper spots a huge black bloke dancing on the roof of a car. He calls for backup. 'What's the situation' say base. 'There's a massive darkie dancing on a car roof!' says the copper. 'You can't say that over the radio, officer, you have to use the official terminology.' say base. 'Right..' says the copper.. 'Zulu Tango Sierra!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Recyclist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 19991 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 What's the similiarity between the Togo National Football team and Tiger Woods? Neither of them will be using their driver anytime soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4711 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 Probably get some greif for this but.. Copper spots a huge black bloke dancing on the roof of a car. He calls for backup. 'What's the situation' say base. 'There's a massive darkie dancing on a car roof!' says the copper. 'You can't say that over the radio, officer, you have to use the official terminology.' say base. 'Right..' says the copper.. 'Zulu Tango Sierra!' Bet the original was worded slightly differently Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4711 Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 the people of haiti have been blasted as rude and ungrateful after rejecting a container of sunderland shirts saying they were desperate but still wanted to maintain their dignity.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15449 Posted January 19, 2010 Share Posted January 19, 2010 How can you tell if a girl is too young for sex?When you have to make the airplane sound to get your c*ck in her mouth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 19991 Posted January 19, 2010 Share Posted January 19, 2010 My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked, "Is that the best you can do?" When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids. Took her out with one fucking punch. My wife says it's disgusting to piss in the bath. I suppose I should wait until she gets out. Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape. The other day I told my neighbour Jerome that he was like Marmite. He said, "What, you either love me or you hate me?" I said, "No, you're dark and you smell." Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez. It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after. Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!!! I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low? I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night... I wanted my first time to be special. I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends? I was asked to run a marathon and I said, "no chance." Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids, so I thought, "Fuck it. I could win that!" I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits. I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4711 Posted January 19, 2010 Share Posted January 19, 2010 My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex.Just this morning she asked, "Is that the best you can do?" When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids. Took her out with one fucking punch. My wife says it's disgusting to piss in the bath. I suppose I should wait until she gets out. Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape. The other day I told my neighbour Jerome that he was like Marmite. He said, "What, you either love me or you hate me?" I said, "No, you're dark and you smell." Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez. It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after. Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!!! I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low? I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night... I wanted my first time to be special. I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends? I was asked to run a marathon and I said, "no chance." Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids, so I thought, "Fuck it. I could win that!" I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits. I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted January 19, 2010 Share Posted January 19, 2010 If a dog's tail is still wagging, then how can that be rape? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7073 Posted January 20, 2010 Share Posted January 20, 2010 Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco. Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take. Scientists have revealed today that they have found a new drug for depressed lesbians. It's called Trydixagain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Just moved to a new house, I'll send you the address later, but its a rough area. Myra Hindley is the Avon lady, Fred West is the gardener, Louise Woodward is the babysitter , Harold Shipman is my new GP, Gary Glitter runs the play group, the M'Canns run the holiday club, Michael Jackson runs the local zoo and theme park! Saddam Hussien runs the ethnic group and Hitler is running the campsite! But most worrying of all is the fact that Rafa Benitez is running the local football club! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted January 23, 2010 Share Posted January 23, 2010 Just moved to a new house, I'll send you the address later, but its a rough area. Myra Hindley is the Avon lady, Fred West is the gardener, Louise Woodward is the babysitter , Harold Shipman is my new GP, Gary Glitter runs the play group, the M'Canns run the holiday club, Michael Jackson runs the local zoo and theme park! Saddam Hussien runs the ethnic group and Hitler is running the campsite! But most worrying of all is the fact that Rafa Benitez is running the local football club! Bit harsh to include them with Shipman, Glitter and Hindley. Innocent until proven guilty n'all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyff 0 Posted January 24, 2010 Share Posted January 24, 2010 It is the bad taste joke thread mind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 4375 Posted January 24, 2010 Share Posted January 24, 2010 Could have added Huntley as the school caretaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4711 Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 According to the tape recovered from the cockpit voice recorder, Ethiopian Airlines flight 409 went into a sudden nose dive when the sound of a crisp packet opening was heard in the pilot's cabin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 4711 Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 found a bunch of waiters buggering a male sheep wearing a clowns hat. Turns out it was just servers experiencing a degraded ram. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10795 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 In my biology exam today i was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparantly, Scousers and blacks is not the correct answer What's the difference between an angry man and a gay arab? One's shaking a fist, the other's fisting a sheik. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15449 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 What's the difference between an angry man and a gay arab? One's shaking a fist, the other's fisting a sheik. Ah, but is it an angry white man? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 10795 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 What's the difference between an angry man and a gay arab? One's shaking a fist, the other's fisting a sheik. Ah, but is it an angry white man? Barrowman! *shakeyfist* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15449 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 What's the difference between an angry man and a gay arab? One's shaking a fist, the other's fisting a sheik. Ah, but is it an angry white man? Barrowman! *shakeyfist* With apologies to Bottom (appropriately enough): What's that disgusting smell? Have you been saying "John Barrowman" again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazarus 0 Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 I saw a guy stacking shelves at Tescos complaining because the top shelf was broken, and he couldn't keep it up. I think he had A wrecked aisle dysfunction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Lazaru 0 Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 I've just bought the latest Alexander McQueen top, its a bit tight around the neck but it hangs well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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