Angelus71 4 Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 What's the difference between a Muslim and a dead horse? It's no fun beating a dead horse. How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant? Dress her up as a goat. What do Muslim men do during foreplay? Tickle the goat under the chin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angelus71 4 Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq? A: They don't want to wear out the camel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Bloodninja: Wanna cyber? DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody ;-) DirtyKate: Who are you? Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot Bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm. DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. Bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. Bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate: I want everything, baby! Bloodninja: Is this a delivery? DirtyKate: Umm...Yes DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... Bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. **pause** DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! Bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza. Bloodninja: I'm on my way now though **pause** DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now. Bloodninja: How did you know? Bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. Bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate: ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby Bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. Bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate: What the fuck? DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t DirtyKate: F**k Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 Jade Goody has been cheered up by one bit of good news today. She got ten quid on eBay for her hairdryer. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 (edited) Q. What do you call Jade Goody in a wedding dress? A. A shuttlecock. To help the bushfire victims, a number of Australian singers have joined forces for a charity record - 'Fry Me Kangaroo Brown, Sport' goes out on sale this Monday Edited February 17, 2009 by @yourservice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Earlier, Gareth Southgate was spotted leaving Tesco empty-handed and waving his Clubcard in the air. It seems that the poor cunt can't get points anywhere... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donaldstott 0 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 What's the difference between Jam and Marmalade? You can't marmalade your cock up a woman's arse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smooth Operator 10 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Patrick Swayze and Jade Goody will be appearing in panto later on this year.... ...oh no they wont! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wykikitoon 19991 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 So Patrick Swayze hasn't got long left to live. That's okay though, he's already had the time of his life. Scousers must lead incredibly healthy lifestyles. Everywhere you go in Liverpool, people are wearing tracksuits. black ice = bad black magic = bad black death = bad black holes = bad black witch =bad black market = bad black monday = bad black tuesday = bad black wednesday =bad black thursday = bad black friday = bad black widow = bad black list = bad black mail = bad black hat hacker = bad black people = bad Anyone spot a pattern ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Manson 0 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 So Patrick Swayze hasn't got long left to live. That's okay though, he's already had the time of his life. Scousers must lead incredibly healthy lifestyles. Everywhere you go in Liverpool, people are wearing tracksuits. black ice = bad black magic = bad black death = bad black holes = bad black witch =bad black market = bad black monday = bad black tuesday = bad black wednesday =bad black thursday = bad black friday = bad black widow = bad black list = bad black mail = bad black hat hacker = bad black people = bad Anyone spot a pattern ? Careful, Luke doesn't like it when you post racist jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 What do Roman Abramovic, the Metropolitan Police and a lady with a itchy crotch hav in common? They all regret going for that brazilian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@yourservice 67 Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Bought myself a black condom today. My wife died last night and her sister is visiting later, so I thought I had better show a bit of respect! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 99 Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 See Jade has got her self a new TV deal? Appearing on Most Haunted in the Summer..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 See Jade has got her self a new TV deal? Appearing on Most Haunted in the Summer..... That is woeful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magma 0 Posted March 28, 2009 Share Posted March 28, 2009 Do you want to go see that Jade Goody movie? A Wedding, 4 weeks and a funeral. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooj 17 Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Do you want to go see that Jade Goody movie? A Wedding, 4 weeks and a funeral. Shocking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30397 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Jade Goody has been portrayed by the media as a heroine for raising awareness about cervical cancer, in spite of the fact that she forgot to have a smear test. Last year, I forgot to turn off an unlit oven before leaving for work. The ensuing explosion killed my wife and three children. Was I portrayed by the media as a hero for raising awareness about gas safety? Was I fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Think I've got that Swine flu... ...I'm coming out in rashers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Just won a holiday to Mexico, but I can't go. I'm pig sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trophyshy 7075 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Think I've got that Swine flu... ...I'm coming out in rashers. Crackling joke! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Think I've got that Swine flu... ...I'm coming out in rashers. Crackling joke! It's not funny, I can't stop scratchings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 175 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 The World Health Organisation have warned that the incubation period of Mexican Swine is about a Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom 14011 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Think I've got that Swine flu... ...I'm coming out in rashers. Crackling joke! It's not funny, I can't stop scratchings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 After it was announced Katie Price and Peter Andre are to separate, Katie said she would miss the family holidays they shared, the tv specials they filmed, and the companionship. Peter said he would miss the titwanks and watching the fat black kid walk into the wall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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