Jump to content

Newcastle v Liverpool - send him victorious

Dr Gloom

By Dr Gloom,
in Newcastle Forum

 Share

Recommended Posts

strawb

strawb 4639

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Howmanheyman said:

I will NEVER get on board this Greggs = Geordie thing like, sorry. Tends to be southerners and people under 40. 

Founded in Gosforth and their headquarters are in newcastle?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Toonpack

Toonpack 11366

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

Wasn't the main Greggs dude a fiddler? 

 

Son of Greggs founder iirc.

 

Had work dealings with folks who dealt with Greggs before they were massive,  they to man reckoned they were utter cunts to deal with.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Howmanheyman

Howmanheyman 36598

Posted
Posted
27 minutes ago, strawb said:

Founded in Gosforth and their headquarters are in newcastle?

 

I know, they've always been a Newcastle based business but whether it's them themselves, (it is) plus others happy to jump on board they're now going down the Guinness/Irish business advertising route. Put it another way, would anyone have automatically linked Greggs to 'Geordie-ness' a decade or two ago? I just find it a bit false tbh and all apart from that, if that photo is legit then that lad must surely be one of those fans you cringe seeing in the media.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Howmanheyman

Howmanheyman 36598

Posted
Posted
21 minutes ago, Toonpack said:

 

Son of Greggs founder iirc.

 

Had work dealings with folks who dealt with Greggs before they were massive,  they to man reckoned they were utter cunts to deal with.

 

They've not long had an official union there which tells you everything you need to know about them considering their longevity as a business.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Alex

Alex 36721

Posted
Posted

Da yoof wearing the Gregg’s clothing (was it in connection with Primark) was what they might call totes cringe. I do like a stottie though. 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Howmanheyman

Howmanheyman 36598

Posted
Posted (edited)

They do good scones and their stotties are decent. (I don't bother with the sweet stuff so can't say anything on those). The vegan sausage rolls are ok too. The normal sausage rolls are atrocious and the pasties etc are edible I suppose if you don't mind it repeating on you for a few hours afterwards.

Edited by Howmanheyman
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ayatollah Hermione

Ayatollah Hermione 14673

Posted
Posted

Greggs are so proud of being from Newcastle that they’ve promptly dropped everything on the menu that could be considered from up here. That’s before you mention their “social media game” which is just Paddy Power but somehow even more annoying 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
thebrokendoll

thebrokendoll 10278

Posted
Posted
37 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

They do good scones and their stotties are decent. (I don't bother with the sweet stuff so can't say anything on those). The vegan sausage rolls are ok too. The normal sausage rolls are atrocious and the pasties etc are edible I suppose if you don't mind it repeating on you for a few hours afterwards.

 

their mince beef and onion pies are fucking delicious.

pisses me off that they don't seem to sell the anywhere south of scotch corner or at least not as far as I'm aware. seen them in keswisk in the lake district, but they most definitely have made their way anywhere near south wales, the inconsiderate cunts.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Renton

Renton 23678

Posted
Posted
On 11/03/2025 at 12:44, Dr Gloom said:

 

poetry :lol:

 

I will fulfil your wish. 

 

The Carabao final, a sunlit affair,
“Howay the lads” fills the air.
The Toon army are glorious in black and white,
A battle ahead, a glorious fight.

 

Arnold Slot, with a tactical mind,
Stood on the touchline, arms aligned.
But oh! The sun—so cruel, so bold—
Bounced off his head like liquid gold.

 

It struck Mo Salah, curled and proud,
A flickering ember within the crowd.
With panic set and fear in sight,
His hair ignited, a beacon bright!

 

He reached for water, his fate to mend,
From a Geordie lad, who is not a friend.
But alas, the bottle—oh, what a shine!
Purest poison—Newcastle moonshine!

 

The flames roared up, a crimson crown,
As Salah staggered, stumbling down.
Alisson, eager to lend a hand,
Flapped at the flames with shovel hands grand.

 

Yet each great gust, each mighty blow,
Fanned the inferno to heights unknown!
Trent dashed forth, extinguisher drawn,
But oh! A black label — a rule was torn.

 

The wrong device! The ref turned red,
A flashing card, and Trent had fled.
Salah, singed, was swiftly switched,
As Slot, enraged, stood sorely twitched.

 

Without Salah surely it was time,

For the toon to win and be divine,

Alas two Darwin goals, the fucking cunt,
Aided by VAR, a fucking affront.

 

And so it was, on that cursed day,
That Salah burned, yet the scouse still held sway.
And worse still due to Carragher’s raves,

10 fans drowned in his saliva waves.

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dr Gloom

Dr Gloom 23642

Posted
  • Author
Posted
13 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

I will fulfil your wish. 

 

The Carabao final, a sunlit affair,
“Howay the lads” fills the air.
The Toon army are glorious in black and white,
A battle ahead, a glorious fight.

 

Arnold Slot, with a tactical mind,
Stood on the touchline, arms aligned.
But oh! The sun—so cruel, so bold—
Bounced off his head like liquid gold.

 

It struck Mo Salah, curled and proud,
A flickering ember within the crowd.
With panic set and fear in sight,
His hair ignited, a beacon bright!

 

He reached for water, his fate to mend,
From a Geordie lad, who is not a friend.
But alas, the bottle—oh, what a shine!
Purest poison—Newcastle moonshine!

 

The flames roared up, a crimson crown,
As Salah staggered, stumbling down.
Alisson, eager to lend a hand,
Flapped at the flames with shovel hands grand.

 

Yet each great gust, each mighty blow,
Fanned the inferno to heights unknown!
Trent dashed forth, extinguisher drawn,
But oh! A black label — a rule was torn.

 

The wrong device! The ref turned red,
A flashing card, and Trent had fled.
Salah, singed, was swiftly switched,
As Slot, enraged, stood sorely twitched.

 

Without Salah surely it was time,

For the toon to win and be divine,

Alas two Darwin goals, the fucking cunt,
Aided by VAR, a fucking affront.

 

And so it was, on that cursed day,
That Salah burned, yet the scouse still held sway.
And worse still due to Carragher’s raves,

10 fans drowned in his saliva waves.


ChatGBT?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Renton

Renton 23678

Posted
Posted (edited)
35 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:


ChatGBT?

 

Some edits because it was spouting shite, for example it was convinced Klopp is still their manager. But of course really all from the mind of Dazzler. Upload his story, and there you go. 

 

I'll claim credit for the last 2 verses. 

 

Edited by Renton
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.

  I accept