Newcastle v Liverpool - send him victorious

[thebrokendoll 10281]

4.8 seconds for me to hit the stop button.

[Gemmill 49972]

To get your dancing shoes on? 

[Dr Gloom 23642]

8 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

 

 

Wouldn't be a cup final thread without this wordsmith. 

 

 

[wykikitoon 22899]

[Howmanheyman 36607]

I will NEVER get on board this Greggs = Geordie thing like, sorry. Tends to be southerners and people under 40. 

[strawb 4639]

1 minute ago, Howmanheyman said:

I will NEVER get on board this Greggs = Geordie thing like, sorry. Tends to be southerners and people under 40. 

Founded in Gosforth and their headquarters are in newcastle?

[Gemmill 49972]

Wasn't the main Greggs dude a fiddler? 

[Toonpack 11368]

5 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

Wasn't the main Greggs dude a fiddler? 

 

Son of Greggs founder iirc.

 

Had work dealings with folks who dealt with Greggs before they were massive,  they to man reckoned they were utter cunts to deal with.

[Howmanheyman 36607]

27 minutes ago, strawb said:

Founded in Gosforth and their headquarters are in newcastle?

 

I know, they've always been a Newcastle based business but whether it's them themselves, (it is) plus others happy to jump on board they're now going down the Guinness/Irish business advertising route. Put it another way, would anyone have automatically linked Greggs to 'Geordie-ness' a decade or two ago? I just find it a bit false tbh and all apart from that, if that photo is legit then that lad must surely be one of those fans you cringe seeing in the media.

[Howmanheyman 36607]

21 minutes ago, Toonpack said:

 

Son of Greggs founder iirc.

 

Had work dealings with folks who dealt with Greggs before they were massive,  they to man reckoned they were utter cunts to deal with.

 

They've not long had an official union there which tells you everything you need to know about them considering their longevity as a business.

[Alex 36724]

Da yoof wearing the Gregg’s clothing (was it in connection with Primark) was what they might call totes cringe. I do like a stottie though. 

[London 32]

There was a Greggs champagne bar in Fenwicks over Christmas. How much more geordie do you want?

[Howmanheyman 36607]

They do good scones and their stotties are decent. (I don't bother with the sweet stuff so can't say anything on those). The vegan sausage rolls are ok too. The normal sausage rolls are atrocious and the pasties etc are edible I suppose if you don't mind it repeating on you for a few hours afterwards.

Edited 9 hours ago by Howmanheyman

[Ayatollah Hermione 14682]

Greggs are so proud of being from Newcastle that they’ve promptly dropped everything on the menu that could be considered from up here. That’s before you mention their “social media game” which is just Paddy Power but somehow even more annoying 

[thebrokendoll 10281]

37 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

They do good scones and their stotties are decent. (I don't bother with the sweet stuff so can't say anything on those). The vegan sausage rolls are ok too. The normal sausage rolls are atrocious and the pasties etc are edible I suppose if you don't mind it repeating on you for a few hours afterwards.

 

their mince beef and onion pies are fucking delicious.

pisses me off that they don't seem to sell the anywhere south of scotch corner or at least not as far as I'm aware. seen them in keswisk in the lake district, but they most definitely have made their way anywhere near south wales, the inconsiderate cunts.

[Gemmill 49972]

Dickson's pork shops are the REAL Geordie bakery. Their pasties and mince pies are tremendous. 

[Monkeys Fist 45149]

4 hours ago, thebrokendoll said:

4.8 seconds for me to hit the stop button.

4.8 seconds too slow. 

[PaddockLad 19013]

8(?) squad survivors from 2023 final, 5 (?) almost certain to start

 

https://www.nufc.com/html/2022-23html/2023-02-26manchester-united-n-lcf.html

[Renton 23681]

On 11/03/2025 at 12:44, Dr Gloom said:

 

poetry

 

I will fulfil your wish. 

 

The Carabao final, a sunlit affair,
“Howay the lads” fills the air.
The Toon army are glorious in black and white,
A battle ahead, a glorious fight.

 

Arnold Slot, with a tactical mind,
Stood on the touchline, arms aligned.
But oh! The sun—so cruel, so bold—
Bounced off his head like liquid gold.

 

It struck Mo Salah, curled and proud,
A flickering ember within the crowd.
With panic set and fear in sight,
His hair ignited, a beacon bright!

 

He reached for water, his fate to mend,
From a Geordie lad, who is not a friend.
But alas, the bottle—oh, what a shine!
Purest poison—Newcastle moonshine!

 

The flames roared up, a crimson crown,
As Salah staggered, stumbling down.
Alisson, eager to lend a hand,
Flapped at the flames with shovel hands grand.

 

Yet each great gust, each mighty blow,
Fanned the inferno to heights unknown!
Trent dashed forth, extinguisher drawn,
But oh! A black label — a rule was torn.

 

The wrong device! The ref turned red,
A flashing card, and Trent had fled.
Salah, singed, was swiftly switched,
As Slot, enraged, stood sorely twitched.

 

Without Salah surely it was time,

For the toon to win and be divine,

Alas two Darwin goals, the fucking cunt,
Aided by VAR, a fucking affront.

 

And so it was, on that cursed day,
That Salah burned, yet the scouse still held sway.
And worse still due to Carragher’s raves,

10 fans drowned in his saliva waves.

[Dr Gloom 23642]

13 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

I will fulfil your wish. 

 

The Carabao final, a sunlit affair,
“Howay the lads” fills the air.
The Toon army are glorious in black and white,
A battle ahead, a glorious fight.

 

Arnold Slot, with a tactical mind,
Stood on the touchline, arms aligned.
But oh! The sun—so cruel, so bold—
Bounced off his head like liquid gold.

 

It struck Mo Salah, curled and proud,
A flickering ember within the crowd.
With panic set and fear in sight,
His hair ignited, a beacon bright!

 

He reached for water, his fate to mend,
From a Geordie lad, who is not a friend.
But alas, the bottle—oh, what a shine!
Purest poison—Newcastle moonshine!

 

The flames roared up, a crimson crown,
As Salah staggered, stumbling down.
Alisson, eager to lend a hand,
Flapped at the flames with shovel hands grand.

 

Yet each great gust, each mighty blow,
Fanned the inferno to heights unknown!
Trent dashed forth, extinguisher drawn,
But oh! A black label — a rule was torn.

 

The wrong device! The ref turned red,
A flashing card, and Trent had fled.
Salah, singed, was swiftly switched,
As Slot, enraged, stood sorely twitched.

 

Without Salah surely it was time,

For the toon to win and be divine,

Alas two Darwin goals, the fucking cunt,
Aided by VAR, a fucking affront.

 

And so it was, on that cursed day,
That Salah burned, yet the scouse still held sway.
And worse still due to Carragher’s raves,

10 fans drowned in his saliva waves.

ChatGBT?

[Renton 23681]

35 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

ChatGBT?

 

Some edits because it was spouting shite, for example it was convinced Klopp is still their manager. But of course really all from the mind of Dazzler. Upload his story, and there you go. 

 

I'll claim credit for the last 2 verses. 

 

Edited 6 hours ago by Renton

[Ayatollah Hermione 14682]

Renton doing more to kill the planet with ChatGPT and AI than Silicon Valley is 

[Howmanheyman 36607]

6 hours ago, Gemmill said:

Dickson's pork shops are the REAL Geordie bakery. Their pasties and mince pies are tremendous. 

 

I saw an advert for a job there a couple of years ago, everything was 'Balou' T&C's, (they offered only the bare necessities) but the crowning jewel in the perks other than 'free parking' was, I shit you not, a Christmas card from Mr and Mrs Dickson.   (I should've applied just for that alone!)

Edited 1 hour ago by Howmanheyman

[Optimistic Nut 480]

Milligan's ftw. 

[Ayatollah Hermione 14682]

2 hours ago, Howmanheyman said:

 

I saw an advert for a job there a couple of years ago, everything was 'Balou' T&C's, (they offered only the bare necessities) but the crowning jewel in the perks other than 'free oarking' was, I shit you not, a Christmas card from Mr and Mrs Dickson.   (I should've applied just for that alone!)

 at “Balou” I’m stealing that