Eddie Howe, the god-like genius, and his injury-ravaged sausage-shaking title contenders v some tin pot club on the south coast

[Howmanheyman 36611]

2 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Targett probably did his hamstring at home, tripping over a pile of pizza boxes in the hall. 

 

Target after the shagging is starting to calm down to their lass....

 

"Wait a minute..... You're telling me you can't cook?"

[Howmanheyman 36611]

TBF to Targett and Mrs Targett, wor lass could barely cook when we first got together so you can draw your own conclusions on the initial attraction. Funny thing is, as the sexual interflora died down, so her cooking got better. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She's a Michelin star chef these days. 

[Monkeys Fist 45157]

5 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

sexual interflora

“ How about it, petal?”

[Renton 23685]

8 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

TBF to Targett and Mrs Targett, wor lass could barely cook when we first got together so you can draw your own conclusions on the initial attraction. Funny thing is, as the sexual interflora died down, so her cooking got better. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She's a Michelin star chef these days. 

 

Based on this I must be married to Monica Galetti. 

[Renton 23685]

24 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

Disagree. Very few of the injuries were muscle injuries of the kind you would expect to occur because of our pressing intensity other than maybe Botman. Targett maybe but it was like 90 second into the game. The others are all impact injuries, freak injuries such as Burn’s jarred back, Barnes’s broken foot etc. We’ve  just been very, very unlucky. 

 

I've heard this said before but how are impact injuries and stress fractures not related to play intensity? 

[Monkeys Fist 45157]

Michelin stars originated as a way to sell more car tyres- if people were told the food in some gaff miles away was worth a trip, they’d wear through their tyres quicker, leading to more sales for Michelin. 
 

True story, bludz 

[Holden McGroin 7625]

29 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Are you mistaking this boards leading thread-starter with Jonah Gloom? 

How could @Renton possibly get the best and worst thread starters mixed up?

 

[wykikitoon 22904]

32 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Targett probably did his hamstring at home, tripping over a pile of pizza boxes in the hall. 

 

I love how this has really stuck with you  

 

[Monkeys Fist 45157]

56 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

 

I love how this has really stuck with you  

 

It’d probably have stuck to me if I’d stepped inside his gaff- fucking minger. 

[trophyshy 7332]

1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Michelin stars originated as a way to sell more car tyres- if people were told the food in some gaff miles away was worth a trip, they’d wear through their tyres quicker, leading to more sales for Michelin. 
 

True story, bludz 

War and Peace was almost called ‘War, What is it Good For?’.  

[Alex 36727]

1 hour ago, Howmanheyman said:

TBF to Targett and Mrs Targett, wor lass could barely cook when we first got together so you can draw your own conclusions on the initial attraction. Funny thing is, as the sexual interflora died down, so her cooking got better. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She's a Michelin star chef these days. 

That sounds familiar. Except I do most of the cooking 

[Alex 36727]

1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Michelin stars originated as a way to sell more car tyres- if people were told the food in some gaff miles away was worth a trip, they’d wear through their tyres quicker, leading to more sales for Michelin. 
 

True story, bludz 

They were originally as a guide for places motorists could stop for decent food weren’t they? I fully appreciate I’m probably being whooshed  

[Gemmill 49975]

We need to stop calling that poor lass Spaniel Lugs. All she wanted to do was support her beloved team.

[Monkeys Fist 45157]

4 minutes ago, Alex said:

They were originally as a guide for places motorists could stop for decent food weren’t they? I fully appreciate I’m probably being whooshed  

[Monkeys Fist 45157]

1 minute ago, Gemmill said:

We need to stop calling that poor lass Spaniel Lugs. All she wanted to do was support her beloved team.

She wants to support her beloved jugs first. 

[Howmanheyman 36611]

9 minutes ago, Alex said:

That sounds familiar. Except I do most of the cooking 

 

Me too!

[Dr Gloom 23642]

1 hour ago, Renton said:

 

I've heard this said before but how are impact injuries and stress fractures not related to play intensity? 

An impact injury can happen to any player at any time. It’s different to hamstrings or thighs going all the time, which is what happened to Liverpool when Klopp first introduced his intense counter pressing style.

 

Let’s look at who is missing, and you tell me.

 

Tonali - suspended. Nothing to do with our style of play 

 

Bruno - suspended. Nothing to do with our style of play 

 

Murphy - dislocated shoulder. Freak injury, nothing to do with our style of play

 

Barnes - broken foot. Freak injury, nothing to do with our style of play

Burn - back problem. A result of landing awkwardly. Surely nothing to do with our pressing intensity 
 

Anderson - back problem. Ditto

 

Targett - thigh strain. Possibly a result of style of play but it happened 90 seconds into a match so seems unlikely. 

—
 

Wilson - thigh injury. Possibly a result of our style of play and playing too many minutes

 

Botman - knee injury. Potentially connected to our intensity. 

 

Isak - groin strain - possibly a result of our style of play 

[Gemmill 49975]

This is why they'll only let him push patients round the corridors.

[Renton 23685]

28 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

An impact injury can happen to any player at any time. It’s different to hamstrings or thighs going all the time, which is what happened to Liverpool when Klopp first introduced his intense counter pressing style.

 

Let’s look at who is missing, and you tell me.

 

Tonali - suspended. Nothing to do with our style of play 

 

Bruno - suspended. Nothing to do with our style of play 

 

Murphy - dislocated shoulder. Freak injury, nothing to do with our style of play

 

Barnes - broken foot. Freak injury, nothing to do with our style of play

Burn - back problem. A result of landing awkwardly. Surely nothing to do with our pressing intensity 
 

Anderson - back problem. Ditto

 

Targett - thigh strain. Possibly a result of style of play but it happened 90 seconds into a match so seems unlikely. 

—
 

Wilson - thigh injury. Possibly a result of our style of play and playing too many minutes

 

Botman - knee injury. Potentially connected to our intensity. 

 

Isak - groin strain - possibly a result of our style of play 

 

Bruno collecting yellows is possibly connected to our style of play imo. Just not sure I buy this unlucky line, I personally expected this to happen. 

[wykikitoon 22904]

Maybe he needs to stop getting stuck in then  

[Renton 23685]

49 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

Maybe he needs to stop getting stuck in then  

 

Well no. But shit housing is part of our play which will ultimately affect player availability?

[wykikitoon 22904]

Longstaff is one booking away from a suspension. At least two of his yellows have been down to utter wank ref decisons.  Is that down to how we play too?

[sammynb 3923]

4 hours ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Are you mistaking this boards leading thread-starter with Jonah Gloom? 

 

Hate to be pedantic Fist, as there are other far more qualified for that around here, but Holden shirley is the boards second leading thread starter?

Scotty will tell you who is really the leading thread starter!

[GrahamTaylor5 1172]

4 hours ago, Renton said:

 

Agreed up to this point. It's statistically unlikely to be this "unlucky" imo. I'm still convinced it's a function of the high intensity physically demanding way we play, and I do worry about how sustainable it is long term. I mean, I do love watching it and it's incredibly effective with a full first team, but I think a byproduct is always going to be a high injury and suspension rate. The answer is probably to transition to a more controlling side but this will take better quality players in a lot of positions and time. Early days yet though. 

I get where you are coming from, but I do still think they are unlucky.

 

Barnes not here long enough for that to be down to intensity of training (similar to Isak's first injury) Burn landed awkwardly, Murphy was unlucky first time and an understandable risk the second time. When it comes to Botman- he lasted a full season before an injury like this same with Miggy etc. Wilson has always been prone to problems.

 

The cards, I believe, are down to our style of play as the ones we have got in the Champions League have been different. 

 

With Murphy, Burn, Tonali in the squad, we would probably expect a similar size list to be injured given our schedule and the general dangers of the sport on the human body. Also, having more players available leads to better rotation and fewer injuries. 

[Gemmill 49975]

5 yellows for a suspension no longer makes sense when they get hoyed around like confetti. They need to fix that.