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Eddie and Mad Dog's Couldn't Score In A Brothel, Useless, One Footed Geordie Lads v Da, Da, Dortmund, Ich Lieb' Dich Nicht, Du Liebst Mich Nicht


sammynb
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A few of us went to Charlton away in the early 90s, one was a total pisshead called 'scruffy fingers'. He was called it as he was a roofer and his fingers were always minging because he'd go straight for a pint after work or that was what I assumed. We stopped off at the services and scruffy fingers is already well into the kestrel super strength after being on the piss the night before, we'd been out as well TBF, so as we're having a slash he calls us over to the trap he was in. We went over not knowing what monstrosity he was giggling about and assumed he'd pebble dashed the bog or left a giant turd or something but he'd wrote 'NUFC' on the wall with his own shit and suddenly the name scruffy fingers started to make more sense the fucking fiend he was. (Once in a blue moon I'll see his van driving about and I always think 'dirty cunt').

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23 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:


1 demerit point against you old son. Falcao  is Austrian :cuppa:

1. Meenzer requested it.

2. He's singing in German, so it's a German banger

3. stephen colbert middle finger GIF

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1 hour ago, wykikitoon said:

I once went into the bogs at work and it was up the fucking wall.  They had to close the toilets off and get a cleaner in.  The cleaner looked like something out of Breaking Bad when suited up :lol: 

 

BTW It wasn't me, the person must have exploded it was that bad

7vmgav.jpg

 

We “believe” you mate. 

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58 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

When I worked at Northern Rock, there was some absolute fruitloop did some impromptu grouting with their shit. Clearly someone not right in the head, but I would spend my days walking around the corridors and picking out candidates.

 

On another occasion there was absolute scandal in my department cos a lass came back onto the floor saying that someone had dropped a log on the floor in front of the toilet in the lass's bogs. Rank.

 

Not as gross but at my old work some arse was habitually and purposefully blocking the toilet with paper towels. Each time it happened we had to call estates to get it cleared. This was a major issue cos there was only one toilet for that block. Anyway, I decided to have a stakeout and checked the toilet before and after wvery person. Took a while but ventually caught the filfthy medical records cunt responsible and reported him. Never saw him again so I assume he was sacked. Fucking weirdo. 

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40 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:


1 demerit point against you old son. Falcao  is Austrian :cuppa:

 

Also, Falcao is (was) Brazilian. Falco is (was) Austrian.

Wink Blow GIF by X Ambassadors

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1 minute ago, Renton said:

 

Not as gross but at my old work some arse was habitually and purposefully blocking the toilet with paper towels. Each time it happened we had to call estates to get it cleared. This was a major issue cos there was only one toilet for that block. Anyway, I decided to have a stakeout and checked the toilet before and after wvery person. Took a while but ventually caught the filfthy medical records cunt responsible and reported him. Never saw him again so I assume he was sacked. Fucking weirdo. 

 

 image.gif.c7c9f80130f6df80827eb9ca00dbd264.gif

 

"Guys! I'm working a stakeout over 'ere!"

 

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I'd really appreciate it if people would stop interrupting our tales of faecal abnormalities with German music. It's hard to keep up with the important conversations about shite.

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1 hour ago, PaddockLad said:


The greatest example of German popular music iyam :cuppa:

 

Fucking love that song, Big Black's version is also great.

But can you cunts stop now otherwise I'll have nothing special for the return leg!

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3 minutes ago, Kevin Carr's Gloves said:

I once broke a train with a Richard. What happened next will shock you.....

I think this needs more depth...You can't just throw something like that out there without going into detail; it's just pure click bait otherwise.

 

 

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