The ChatGPT Thread

[Dr Gloom 22860]

i should really read the whole thread before posting 🙄

[Renton 22787]

5 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

 

is that a roomba the engagement ring is sitting on? nice attention to detail if so

 

the laptop appears to be back to font however. AI isn't taking our jobs just yet 

 

Wrong. Gems loves his tech and has got double screened lap top.

 

[Dazzler 11065]

On 16/01/2025 at 11:02, Renton said:

Okay, Keith, the story.

 

Keith’s Last Stand

Keith Fuckwit sat in his dimly lit bungalow on the outskirts of Sunderland, nursing a lukewarm cup of instant coffee in his prized possession: a battered mug emblazoned with the Sunderland crest and the words 1973 FA Cup Winners. It was his daily reminder of a simpler, better time when men were men, footballers didn’t dive, and Sunderland reigned supreme—for one glorious afternoon at Wembley.

Keith was 54 but retired. His official reason? "The bloody EU ruined everything!" Despite Brexit being nearly a decade behind him, Keith still blamed Brussels for his early exit from work as a forklift operator. "It’s all the immigrants and the regulations," he'd mutter to anyone who'd listen, which was mostly the crowd on the SMB (Sunderland Message Board), where he served as an overzealous moderator.

The Glory of SMB

On the SMB, Keith was king. From behind his keyboard, he enforced forum rules with an iron fist, banning “wronguns” and Newcastle fans with glee. He spent hours typing up rants about how "the Geordies are ruining football" and "Nigel Farage is a bloody genius." When he wasn’t banning users, he was making bold predictions about Sunderland’s future: "Promotion is nailed on this season, lads!" or "Newcastle’s bubble is about to burst, mark my words!"

Unfortunately, Keith’s words were rarely worth marking. Every prediction he made fell flat. Sunderland had languished in League One longer than he cared to admit, while Newcastle soared, backed by their controversial Saudi owners. But Keith didn’t care for facts. "It’s all fake news," he declared. "Sportswashing, that’s what it is. They’ll implode."

The Breaking Point

It was February 2025 when Keith’s world came crashing down. He had reluctantly tuned in to the League Cup Final, muttering about how Newcastle would “bottle it” as they faced Liverpool. Deep down, he feared the worst but kept his ritual of bitter hope alive.

And then it happened. Newcastle won. A thunderous 2-1 victory at Wembley, complete with a last-minute screamer from their star midfielder. The black-and-white stripes lifted the trophy, their fans erupted in celebration, and Keith… well, Keith erupted too.

He stared at the TV in stunned silence, his face flushed with fury. His trembling hands gripped his 1973 mug. "Traitors! Cheats! Bloody Geordie-loving media!" he roared. Then, with a primal scream, he hurled the mug against the wall. It shattered into a hundred pieces, just like Keith’s dreams.

The Final Shutdown

Keith turned to the SMB for solace, but the board was ablaze with trolls and rival fans mocking Sunderland’s plight. He read a particularly cutting post from a Newcastle fan: "Cheers for your predictions, Keith. You’ve been wrong for 10 years straight! How’s the Chamionship treating you?"

That was it. Keith snapped. Fueled by rage and his inability to cope with reality, he announced in a now-infamous post: "Due to new data protection regulations, the SMB is shutting down indefinitely. Blame Brussels!"

It was a lie, of course. Keith simply couldn’t bear to face the ridicule any longer. He clicked the button to deactivate the board, his finger shaking with the weight of his delusions.

Aftermath

With the SMB gone, Keith retreated further into his bubble. He spent his days ranting at the TV, muttering about how the world had gone to the dogs. His only solace was his Brexit mug—a replacement for the one he’d shattered (bought from a man from Etsy based in Boldon) —bearing the slogan "We Got Our Country Back."

But even Keith couldn’t fully escape reality. Sunderland were relegated to League One, Newcastle thrived, and his neighbors—former SMB members—whispered about his meltdown.

In the end, Keith was a man defeated not by the world but by his own inability to change. For Keith, the 1973 mug wasn’t just a relic of Sunderland’s glory—it was a symbol of a life spent clinging to the past. And once it shattered, so did Keith’s delusions.

---

Keith’s story is one of stubborn pride, self-inflicted isolation, and a deep hatred of change. Somewhere, Terry Fuckwit would surely nod in approval.

Is the mug battered through years of overuse, or (as I suspect is the case) has he been dunking it in the chip pan to make his coffee taste like stale chips?

[Gemmill 47863]

 

 

[ewerk 31832]

7 minutes ago, Renton said:

 

Wrong. Gems loves his tech and has got double screened lap top.

 

 

Wow, MF could double his intake of 'social media' with one of those.

[Monkeys Fist 44003]

23 minutes ago, ewerk said:

 

Wow, MF could double his intake of 'social media' with one of those.

The Eternal, Insufferable Dilemma- Two hands, One cock. 
 

 

[Renton 22787]

1 hour ago, Monkeys Fist said:

The Eternal, Insufferable Dilemma- Two hands, One cock. 
 

 

 

Not a dilemma for me. I need both hands. 

[Gemmill 47863]

One to stuff up your arse to get things going around the front. 

[Renton 22787]

36 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

One to stuff up your arse to get things going around the front. 

 

I just fucking knew that would be your take on it.

 

 

[Renton 22787]

6 hours ago, Gemmill said:

 

 

 

So honoured I've changed my ava for the first time in 15 years. 

[Gemmill 47863]

My only note after that first draft was to ask it to give the man the face of Gordon Ramsay. It invited me to sign up to CHATGPT Plus for $20 a month, so you got to keep that face. 

[Renton 22787]

46 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

My only note after that first draft was to ask it to give the man the face of Gordon Ramsay. It invited me to sign up to CHATGPT Plus for $20 a month, so you got to keep that face. 

 

I've got the full thing and yours was supposed to be like Kris Marshall. Somehow got a ginger Colin Firth instead.