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22/23 Fixtures


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8 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

Pancrate/cake 2022 remix

 

 

The fixtures came out 

 

I had a glance,

 

Excel, excel,

 

Scabs at home 

 

We have a chance,

 

Excel, excel.

 

The fixtures came out 

 

I had a glance

 

Excel, kanban, all holding sway 

 

and £500 a day but ah divven knaa what kanban is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He has departed.

 

skysports-chancel-mbemba-newcastle-38803

 

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19 minutes ago, scoobos said:


Inside or outside of IR35? - if you knew what you were talking about,  you'd not be doing scrum with Agile anymore ,like the true agile Jedis. 😜

(I don't do project management on Excel) but at least you can do timeframes, iteration and produce quality , rather than broken features more easily without Kanban and bloody Scrum... An hour of productivity lost every day in most places.

just being a cnut here tho, cos something about that post seemed a little too smug for a Scrum Master backing kanban on a football forum.

Outside I never do inside, if you’re losing an hour a day going through the board and daily scrum your SM is shit.

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29 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

Pancrate/cake 2022 remix

 

 

The fixtures came out 

 

I had a glance,

 

Excel, excel,

 

Scabs at home 

 

We have a chance,

 

Excel, excel.

 

The fixtures came out 

 

I had a glance

 

Excel, kanban, all holding sway 

 

and £500 a day but ah divven knaa what kanban is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can blame David for this, tbh.

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10 minutes ago, Kevin Carr's Gloves said:

if you’re losing an hour a day going through the board and daily scrum your SM is shit.

 

Indeed. Should not be more than 5-10 minutes. 

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I think I'm in a keyboard warrior stance today, so nothing personal. 

Whilst I know that's what Scrum master's often preach - its not often practiced by those "pesky developers" in larger environments that have truly embraced the concepts of moving away from siloed teams and becoming more integrated - because it only really fits small teams of a maximum of 6 to 8 people. Which worked before the whole cloud automation and dev ops / dev sec ops / dev sec sales ops and all the other bollocks terms for "stop working as independant siloed teams and producing bug ridden features that never get secured or fixed" etc. (I'm looking at you osk.exe)

If you have a team that can be "fed by two pizzas" you are already creating small silos - which might work in the micro sense, but macro wise, within the larger business?

I've never been in a Scrum (although to be fair, Im only ever involved if things have ALREADY gone to shit) - where if even your team of 5 devs all have a blocker, that they can each communicate that blocker in 2 minutes each.

But, im just yanking on the chain cos of the "har har I'm on 500 quid a day" post, on a football thread in the North East , during a cost of living crisis. 

I do think it's highly subjective though and I do know there are good working Agile teams out there, but unfortunately, I've seen more bad than good.  

Edited by scoobos
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3 minutes ago, scoobos said:

I think I'm in a keyboard warrior stance today, so nothing personal. 

Whilst I know that's what Scrum master's often preach - its not often practiced by those "pesky developers" in larger environments that have truly embraced the concepts of moving away from siloed teams and becoming more integrated - because it only really fits small teams of a maximum of 6 to 8 people. Which worked before the whole cloud automation and dev ops / dev sec ops / dev sec sales ops and all the other bollocks terms for "stop working as independant siloed teams and producing bug ridden features that never get secured or fixed" etc. (I'm looking at you osk.exe)

If you have a team that can be "fed by two pizzas" you are already creating small silos - which might work in the micro sense, but macro wise, within the larger business?

I've never been in a Scrum (although to be fair, Im only ever involved if things have ALREADY gone to shit) - where if even your team of 5 devs all have a blocker, that they can each communicate that blocker in 2 minutes each.

But, im just yanking on the chain cos of the "har har I'm on 500 quid a day" post, on a football thread in the North East , during a cost of living crisis. 

I do think it's highly subjective though and I do know there are good working Agile teams out there, but unfortunately, I've seen more bad than good.  

Are you saying everyone from the NE should be in poverty and not earning a decent wage?   Fuck off you prick.

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Ok, probably deserved. I live in the NE now I just thought it a bit smug and bit. But yes, its fair to say that you will be in the 1% at 500 quid a day regionally, what's wrong with that?
It puts you in the top 3% nationally.

I've also spent two weeks at war with some of the larger consultancies here who are fleecing the absolute fook out of the public sector and it just happened to be all in the name of "Agile" - so a raw nerve there too.

Edited by scoobos
just cant help myself
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This is my take on the opening 6 fixtures;
 
Here's the first 6
image.png
 
So, comparing the strength of those teams off the back of last season's finish, weighting for home/away gives this (lower the number= harder the fixture);
image.png
Ordered hardest to easiest;
image.png.9fbe0716c44743a62c7b323c6c34c98f.png
 
Now, at first glance we look like we're in a decent place to start well. A home game against the worst of the promoted sides (on paper) is good and to follow that with an away trip to Brighton is no bad thing.
 
We have the top two sides, who're so far ahead of everyone else it's ridiculous. We have games against CRY and WOL. They finished 12th and 10th respectively. So, in the first 6 games we face three midtable sides, all fairly well regarded. 
 
Thinking positively- 
Nottingham Forest. Came up through the playoffs so have less time to prepare for the Prem than Fulham and Bournemouth who've had it all but sewn up for months. They don't have a huge amount of money to spend. They haven't much in terms of modern PL experience. Transfermarkt has their market value at c£47.5m. (as a comparison the 3 relegated sides were valued on the same site at between £114m-£131m).
 
Brighton. 
A good side, but last season they out performed their xG, meaning they scored more goals than you'd expect them to given the quality of the chances they created. This makes you think there'd be some regression to the mean, so they're expected to score fewer unless they strengthen up front. They also conceded more goals than you'd expect given the chances they gave up to the opposition, especially when you consider post-shot xG.  This speaks to a lack of quality between the sticks, again unless they strengthen there. 
 
Man City and Liverpool are going to be brutal whenever we play them, and I'd rather get them out of the way early doors so that, whatever we're going for at the end of the season, doesn't mean we need points off them. The reverse fixtures are both in January, so hopefully we'll be nice and settled and strengthen again in that window. 
 
Wolves.
Only Brighton and Chelsea got a smaller percentage of their points at home. Only Brighton, Leeds and the relegated sides scored fewer goals at home and only Norwich had a worse xG at home. Only 3 teams had a worse xGA at home too. Definitely get-at-able.
 
Crystal Palace. 
Bit of an unknown under Vieira. Eddie had Patrick's number in April but both men will have longer to work on their tactics, formations, personnel etc. Be interesting to see who each team buys, and how they fare to begin with. To be honest, though, I'd fancy us against all but the top two teams at home. Especially if our big hitters are fit. 
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2 hours ago, Kevin Carr's Gloves said:

I imagine being a project manager now is like it was being a typesetter when computers were introduced.


It’s like trying to herd particularly dense fish, slippery fuckers.

  • Haha 2
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