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Chris Wood


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10 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said:

What was the point in the clause?  😄

In case he tripped down some stairs on his way there?

 

Anyway, it's much easier to like our Woodsy now. Not that I didn't before of course.

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11 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said:

What was the point in the clause?  😄

That’s what I thought. I wonder if it’s something to do with the accounts. They effectively signed him permanently in January but it’ll be in the next financial year or something like that? Because there was no way he wasn’t going to trigger that clause. 

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The club have played an absolute blinder here. I thought we would have to pay someone to take him off our hands and that Forest would at least have negotiated a clause that the deal would be off in the event of relegation.

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  • 1 month later...
On 30/03/2023 at 13:16, wykikitoon said:

Out for the season.

 

My missus has renamed him 'Dead Wood' 

"Thank you very much for £19m" didn't go down too well.

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Write a conversation between a handful of idiots where every interaction is a pun on family relations, such as aunt, uncle, brother, etc.  

 

Person 1: Hey guys, what do you call a fake noodle? 

 

Person 2: I don't know, what? 

 

Person 1: An impasta! Ha ha ha. 

 

Person 3: Oh brother, that was terrible. 

 

Person 2: Speaking of brothers, did you hear about the one who fell into the upholstery machine? 

 

Person 1: No, what happened? 

 

Person 2: He's fully recovered. 

 

Person 3: Uncle believe you just said that. 

 

Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the pregnant bed? 

 

Person 2: No, what's that? 

 

Person 1: It's a bed that's already made! 

 

Person 3: That's not even related to family puns. 

 

Person 2: Yeah, you're right. Let's stick to the theme. Did you hear about the uncle who got hit in the head with a soda can? 

 

Person 1: No, what happened to him? 

 

Person 2: He was lucky it was a soft drink! 

 

Person 3: Oh aunt that just hurts my brain. 

 

Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? 

 

Person 2: No, what happened? 

 

Person 1: They woke up.

 

  Person 3: I don't think that has anything to do with family puns either. 

 

Person 2: Yeah, you're right. Let's get back to the family puns. Did you hear about the sister who stole a tractor? 

 

Person 1: No, what happened to her?

 

  Person 2: She got a little too close to her roots.

 

  Person 3: That's it, I'm out of here. You guys are just making me cousinstantly cringe

 

 

 

 

 

NOW FUCK OFF!

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2 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

Write a conversation between a handful of idiots where every interaction is a pun on family relations, such as aunt, uncle, brother, etc.  

 

Person 1: Hey guys, what do you call a fake noodle? 

 

Person 2: I don't know, what? 

 

Person 1: An impasta! Ha ha ha. 

 

Person 3: Oh brother, that was terrible. 

 

Person 2: Speaking of brothers, did you hear about the one who fell into the upholstery machine? 

 

Person 1: No, what happened? 

 

Person 2: He's fully recovered. 

 

Person 3: Uncle believe you just said that. 

 

Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the pregnant bed? 

 

Person 2: No, what's that? 

 

Person 1: It's a bed that's already made! 

 

Person 3: That's not even related to family puns. 

 

Person 2: Yeah, you're right. Let's stick to the theme. Did you hear about the uncle who got hit in the head with a soda can? 

 

Person 1: No, what happened to him? 

 

Person 2: He was lucky it was a soft drink! 

 

Person 3: Oh aunt that just hurts my brain. 

 

Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? 

 

Person 2: No, what happened? 

 

Person 1: They woke up.

 

  Person 3: I don't think that has anything to do with family puns either. 

 

Person 2: Yeah, you're right. Let's get back to the family puns. Did you hear about the sister who stole a tractor? 

 

Person 1: No, what happened to her?

 

  Person 2: She got a little too close to her roots.

 

  Person 3: That's it, I'm out of here. You guys are just making me cousinstantly cringe

 

 

 

 

 

NOW FUCK OFF!

Cry About It Captain Kirk GIF

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6 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

Write a conversation between a handful of idiots where every interaction is a pun on family relations, such as aunt, uncle, brother, etc.  

 

Person 1: Hey guys, what do you call a fake noodle? 

 

Person 2: I don't know, what? 

 

Person 1: An impasta! Ha ha ha. 

 

Person 3: Oh brother, that was terrible. 

 

Person 2: Speaking of brothers, did you hear about the one who fell into the upholstery machine? 

 

Person 1: No, what happened? 

 

Person 2: He's fully recovered. 

 

Person 3: Uncle believe you just said that. 

 

Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the pregnant bed? 

 

Person 2: No, what's that? 

 

Person 1: It's a bed that's already made! 

 

Person 3: That's not even related to family puns. 

 

Person 2: Yeah, you're right. Let's stick to the theme. Did you hear about the uncle who got hit in the head with a soda can? 

 

Person 1: No, what happened to him? 

 

Person 2: He was lucky it was a soft drink! 

 

Person 3: Oh aunt that just hurts my brain. 

 

Person 1: Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? 

 

Person 2: No, what happened? 

 

Person 1: They woke up.

 

  Person 3: I don't think that has anything to do with family puns either. 

 

Person 2: Yeah, you're right. Let's get back to the family puns. Did you hear about the sister who stole a tractor? 

 

Person 1: No, what happened to her?

 

  Person 2: She got a little too close to her roots.

 

  Person 3: That's it, I'm out of here. You guys are just making me cousinstantly cringe

 

 

 

 

 

NOW FUCK OFF!

Step away from the AI. 
 

 

 

 

Step… did you see what I did there Gemmill, did y’see? 

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  • 1 year later...

 

"With 49 goals for Burnley and 24 for Nottingham Forest, Chris Wood is one of only two players to be top or joint-top scorer for two different clubs in the Premier League, along with @alanshearer (Blackburn & Newcastle)."

 

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1 hour ago, ohhh_yeah said:

 

"With 49 goals for Burnley and 24 for Nottingham Forest, Chris Wood is one of only two players to be top or joint-top scorer for two different clubs in the Premier League, along with @alanshearer (Blackburn & Newcastle)."

 

 

 

Tallest dwarf in the circus. 

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