Big Joe's Massive Member v Fake Tan Brendan Rodgers Duck Lovers (plus Gemmill vs Renton)

[Monkeys Fist 42378]

55 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said:

I would, but it was a birthday present twelve days ago off my daughter and she’s sitting next to me  

And none of us remembered- what a pack of bastards, eh?

 

[Dr Gloom 21912]

@wykikitoon officially relieved of match day thread starter duties   

[247 597]

Hayden should come in for Willock next game he cant be any worse 

[essembeeofsunderland 811]

We have one player who we can rely on,Wilson.Would any Premier League team be interested in any other player than him if we put them all up for sale? Would Ritchie have been any worse at either left back or left sided midfield? At least he can find a teammate with a pass or hit a ball down the line.Aye,he’s not a good defender but neither are our defenders good defenders,apart from Dummett.I honestly cannot see Ed bringing in enough players to keep us up.4 defenders and 2 holding midfield players.Another striker and two more attacking midfield players.Everyone he brings in must be Premier League quality,a number with real quality if possible.Leicester were nowt special but unfortunately,we produced yet another performance which reiterated how bad we are.

[essembeeofsunderland 811]

3 minutes ago, 247 said:

Hayden should come in for Willock next game he cant be any worse 

I’d play him in any defensive position and I’d be confident he’d do a job.

[wykikitoon 20112]

We're only 3 points off still

[Kid Dynamite 7025]

Worst defence in 43 years 

[Diego21 2135]

21 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

We're only 3 points off still

The problem is the near fixture.

 

Liverpool, Man City, Man United in a row to end the first lap of the season.

 

Later, Everton and Soton and some matches when we have to get some points compulsory: Watford, Leeds, Everton again, Aston Villa, West Ham, Brentford, Brighton. 

[wykikitoon 20112]

15 minutes ago, Diego21 said:

The problem is the near fixture.

 

Liverpool, Man City, Man United in a row to end the first lap of the season.

 

Later, Everton and Soton and some matches when we have to get some points compulsory: Watford, Leeds, Everton again, Aston Villa, West Ham, Brentford, Brighton. 

Totally agree but we're not the only ones with a bad run

[OTF 7295]

1 hour ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

Hayden is fucking shit and panics on the ball more than the rest of them which is saying something. I’d spend about 150 million on the back four and a muckle holding player in January

 

Our defense is absolute muck of course but we also can't forget that the closest we came to scoring was an overhit back pass of theirs. For all the ball we got into advanced positions nothing came of it except for space in behind us for them to attack. Howe sold it up for some reason (no doubt not wanting to dent our confidence too much) but this game was a wash both defensively and in attack.

[essembeeofsunderland 811]

2 hours ago, Ayatollah Hermione said:

Hayden is fucking shit and panics on the ball more than the rest of them which is saying something. I’d spend about 150 million on the back four and a muckle holding player in January

He can defend.I don’t mean long term though but that defence today were utter gash,and are gash.

[Ayatollah Hermione 13857]

Can he defend? He’s going to do nothing to help our inability to not make clumsy challenges every time an opposition player gets in sight of our box. He’s a player that reeks of Championship and if we’re turning to him, we’re relegated already 

[Dr Gloom 21912]

Chicken and wine night at Chez Edwards 

[OTF 7295]

51 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said:

Chicken and wine night at Chez Edwards 

 

Blatantly reheating left overs or worse, if there was any chance to big up what he was 'cook'ing the self congratulatory phallus would have.

[Howay 12496]

 He’s such a bitch. 

[Dougle 3329]

49 minutes ago, OTF said:

 

Blatantly reheating left overs or worse, if there was any chance to big up what he was 'cook'ing the self congratulatory phallus would have.

 

[RobinRobin 11258]

10 hours ago, Christmas Tree said:

7.3 I was expecting porn 👍🏻

With your daughter sitting next to you?  Have a word with yourself! 

[The Fish 10849]

14 hours ago, Diego21 said:

The problem is the near fixture.

 

Liverpool, Man City, Man United in a row to end the first lap of the season.

 

Later, Everton and Soton and some matches when we have to get some points compulsory: Watford, Leeds, Everton again, Aston Villa, West Ham, Brentford, Brighton. 

They all come after the January window opens, mind you. Hopefully we'll have strengthened at the beginning of the window with some better quality defenders, and a central midfielder of sufficient quality.

 

Centre back is the absolute priority. I think we could get away with Schar/Fernandez + someone of real ability. 

Right and Left back. Again, I think a quality right back would be enough. We could get away with Lewis on the left.

Central midfield. Boubacar Kamara from Marseille would be good.

[Chaser 1207]

Lascelles shouldnt be playing the next few games after that display. He was utter gash. A captain should lead by example, so give it to someone else who can do a job. Its a very short list, but someone else should get it. 

[Gemmill 44805]

Give it to Wilson. He's always gonna be there if fit, and he's in the leadership group thing Howe has set up. 

[toonotl 2977]

100% Wilson should get the armband. He's actually good enough to play in the PL for a start.

TOT is capable of playing well. He's just completely lost all confidence and it ain't coming back any time soon with performances like we saw on Saturday. Not only does he not seem to organise at all, he is among the worst we have in terms of calm under pressure and that lack of composure makes everyone around him even worse. Add to that that he's also poor at basic defensive tasks, like winning headers. It's unreal. The frequency that he fucks up basic shit, like the pen, for example, is just not acceptable for a club captain. 

The pen wasn't a pen. We all know that. But we also all know that you don't hang out a leg in the box these days. It's an invitation for strikers that need no invitation. And here's TOT, like a fuckin' Chinese Olympic diving coach laying a platform for his top performers. He's been around long enough that that sort of shit should absolutely not be happening. But he's such a headless wonder that he just completely lacks the ability to think under pressure. And that's our leader on the pitch?!

I can see why Howe didn't want to rock the boat too much by giving him the ass early doors when he first came into the club. He doesn't know the setup in the dressing room. You don't want to kickoff by announcing: "It smells like bitch in here" when you go marching into the locker room. But I think now he has his feet under the table, he's seen enough that it must be obvious that the issues we have in defence, if not mostly being caused directly by TOT's fuckups, are almost always entirely symptomatic of his type of mindset (or lack thereof). Basically, it doesn't set the proper example with him as captain.

We defend in a panic at all times. You can't win games with a defence that consists of five individuals (who individually aren't very good to begin with) who also can't trust each other. It's announcing the fuckin obvious but the sheer lack of defensive cohesion really makes what is a group of poor players even worse. Enough. We can get out of this but Howe needs to be brave about how he approaches team selection.

Don't even get me started on the attack. If the defence lack cohesion then the attackers play like each of them fucked the other's missus. The worst example was probably Willock shooting off his left peg with two players open forward of him in the box. The lad can hardly put together a 5-yard pass and he's going the 30-yard screamer off his weaker foot as though it was on. Sheesh.

Anyway, I still think this is doable in terms of our survival (and I think we will) but man it is not going to be easy on us. The players we get in January are key. And they need to hit the ground running. The side needs an injection of belief almost more than it does quality. I hope the Liverpool result isn't nasty because things could start to turn against Howe if it does go poorly. I hope it doesn't because that's not helpful, but we all know for every overly positive Renton from Saturday morning there's ten normal everyday rest of the week Renton's.

[Chaser 1207]

I think we know that the team are shite, and for all he might be a good coach, miracles can't happen overnight. I certainly dont have any hope for Liverpool or Man City. We might be lucky to get something from Man Utd/Everton. 

[Howay 12496]

I’m sure this has been posted or mentioned so apologize if so, just saw it and want to say this is a fucking disgrace tbh. 
 

The state of punditry is appalling. Note all Pardew said was that when the stadium is full and the fan base is fired up it’s amazing, absolutely nothing that dour prick Souness says counters that he just insults the club and basically suggests fans are irrelevant. I understand fans of other clubs will find this funny but tbh once they get over the initial piss taking they should re listen to the arrogant agenda driven prick. It’s just insulting to a PL club for no reason that his little grudge that he holds towards us because he did such a terrible job here. 
 

His whole statement is embarrassing tbh. He’s basically arguing fans don’t matter, he’s the one that brought comparisons to Liverpool - Pardew didn’t do that, so again I don’t understand why that’s a stick to beat Newcastle fans with, also the fans of Liverpool don’t do anything special it just so happens they support a well run football club. Have a go at ownerships/managers etc as they can actually impact the successes of a club, fans don’t get to do that other than creating an exciting atmosphere to play in which was Pardews point - the fans are a draw and it can create that foundation. Souness should just fuck off tbh, he clearly doesn’t have much enjoyment in life as everytime I see him he’s fucking miserable - you can even tell by the reaction of the other two sat there that he’s miserable to be around too as they had that look of fucking hell here we go again another needlessly insulting incoherent point that isn’t even anything to do with the topic. This is a bloke that thinks if a player gets their hair cut more than once a month they can’t possibly be concentrating on football, he’s tragic. 

Edited December 13, 2021 by Howay

[Howay 12496]

Oh aye and….

[Gemmill 44805]

Aye I hadn't seen that clip, but he absolutely does just look like a bitter dickhead. 

He can fuck off with Glasgow btw. We could have won that league at least 10 times since the mid 90s if we'd been unfortunate enough to play in it. Beating both of his fucking Glasgow teams.