Deep shit?

[Alex 35083]

1 hour ago, Christmas Tree said:

I’m not sure how it works but I heard someone saying the Europe places might drop further down this year due to who is winning cups??

 

That said, I think I’d rather not fuck around with a tin pot European trophy and let Eddie concentrate on cementing CL football next year  

Yeah but 7th is the furthest they can drop down iirc (dependent on other things like CL qualification, who wins the FA Cup etc) 

[Kid Dynamite 7030]

2 hours ago, ewerk said:

 

We've been on an amazing run but unfortunately I believe that's all it is, a very good run. We've seen that Eddie Howe can organise a team and more importantly how he can motivate and improve players.

 

But looking at our last two performances you can see how much it's taken out of the team. They've looked tired and I'm not sure how much further this purple patch will continue, especially given some of the fixtures we have coming up.

 

There's no way the current squad can keep up the same level over 38 games. If this is how we're going to play (and I certainly hope it is) then there's going to have to be much more squad rotation over the course of a season. Howe has tried to keep playing the same side as much as he possibly could and midfield aside that's because he has had to rather than wanted to. If you look at our bench last night it was pretty shit, made up largely of players we had in the Championship who should be nowhere near the first team. The squad still requires a massive overhaul and there's obviously a risk attached to that. So with a good window I could see us challenging for the Europa League spot but I'd be more than happy with a top half finish next year.

Aye but add Wilson, Joelinton, Trippier, Hayden, Fede and ASM into that squad and the bench suddenly looks a lot stronger 

Edited March 11, 2022 by Kid Dynamite

[Howmanheyman 33234]

3 hours ago, trophyshy said:

I was just thinking about this gif the other day, he's such a fucking weird bloke. (Trump, not Rayvin, obviously. Cough, ahem).

[Dr Gloom 21924]

5 hours ago, Craig said:

 

First CT and now you?! I'm not sure I can take this level of positivity from the perennial 'negative nellies'  

 

i'm only negative when there is good reason! pretty sure i changed my avatar from pissy pants to sausage shaker after the everton match. prior to leeds, we looked right in the shit. 

[Dr Gloom 21924]

3 hours ago, trophyshy said:

 

one of the great gifs - the state of his mouth man

[Gemmill 44894]

1 hour ago, Howmanheyman said:

I was just thinking about this gif the other day, he's such a fucking weird bloke. (Trump, not Rayvin, obviously. Cough, ahem).

 

 

[Howay 12496]

My personal favorite Trump thing was his rant about Elton John:

 

“Bizarrely, this wasn’t the only instance of Sir Elton crossing into Trump’s orbit within the past 24 hours. While speaking to a crowd in Montana Thursday night, Trump abruptly brought up the singer in the middle of tangent about how no one gives him credit for being a great speaker.

“I have broken more Elton John records. He seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No, we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. Because you know, look, I only need this space. They need much more room. For basketball, for hockey and all of the sports, they need a lot of room. We don’t need it. We have people in that space. So we break all of these records. Really, we do it without, like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical – the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth, right? The brain. More important than the mouth is the brain. The brain is much more important.””

 

Fucking hell man, what a mental 4 years it was living here with that lunatic in charge. It’ll be even worse if he wins again. 

[Meenzer 15531]

Spoken like a very stable genius.

[Howmanheyman 33234]

27 minutes ago, Howay said:

And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth, right?””

 

 

 

In his case......

 

[Craig 6682]

1 hour ago, Howay said:

My personal favorite Trump thing was his rant about Elton John:

 

“Bizarrely, this wasn’t the only instance of Sir Elton crossing into Trump’s orbit within the past 24 hours. While speaking to a crowd in Montana Thursday night, Trump abruptly brought up the singer in the middle of tangent about how no one gives him credit for being a great speaker.

“I have broken more Elton John records. He seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No, we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. Because you know, look, I only need this space. They need much more room. For basketball, for hockey and all of the sports, they need a lot of room. We don’t need it. We have people in that space. So we break all of these records. Really, we do it without, like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical – the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth, right? The brain. More important than the mouth is the brain. The brain is much more important.””

 

Fucking hell man, what a mental 4 years it was living here with that lunatic in charge. It’ll be even worse if he wins again. 

 

I write and run the weekly pub quiz down my local. I did a round last week entitled "Who tweeted - Trump or Kanye" It was fucking crazy some of the quotes 

[Craig 6682]

Who tweeted it: Donald Trump or Kanye West? - CNN.com

Source material if you want have a go

[ohhh_yeah 2967]

On 11/03/2022 at 05:34, Howmanheyman said:

I was just thinking about this gif the other day, he's such a fucking weird bloke. (Rayvin, not Trump, obviously. Cough, ahem).

 

 

[trophyshy 7083]

On 17/02/2022 at 14:33, Rayvin said:

 

0 - Chelsea (A)

 

[trophyshy 7083]

On 17/02/2022 at 14:33, Rayvin said:

1 - Everton (A)

[Ayatollah Hermione 13869]

I'm humbly requesting that Rayvin, upon announcement of next season's fixtures, predict every result for this exact situation to unfold again.

[Rayvin 5223]

Done

[Howay 12496]

Took a quick look at the table, even if we lose every game remaining Burnley would need to win over a quarter of their remaining games (plus a draw), and Watford would need to win 1 in every 3. 
 

Keeping in mind Burnley have an 11% win rate, and Watfords is 21% they’d both need considerable upticks just to get level with our current tally. Also, Brighton have lost 6 straight, and had 3 draws and a win in their last 10 games, and have actually moved a point further clear of the bottom 3 over that period  

 

 

Edited March 18, 2022 by Howay

[MrBass 2651]

Two losses on bounce surely means the spreadsheet needs resurrecting? Actually, haven’t our loses only been since Gemmill stopped updating the sheet? 🤔

Edited March 18, 2022 by MrBass
Correct incorrect autocorrect.

[Dr Gloom 21924]

You’re right. Holden is forgiven. I blame Gemmill 

[Gemmill 44894]

I'll update the spreadsheet later, but for the record, it's only as a means of stopping some of the PISS FOUNTAINS amongst our membership from spraying all over the place for the next two weeks. 

[RobinRobin 11281]

3 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

 I blame Gemmill 

[Howay 12496]

4 hours ago, Gemmill said:

I'll update the spreadsheet later, but for the record, it's only as a means of stopping some of the PISS FOUNTAINS amongst our membership from spraying all over the place for the next two weeks. 

Personally I’m enjoying it, after every game on that run people would go “right if we win this one we are safe”  eventually ending with the targeting of a win over Southampton “10 points and we are miles clear, definitely safe”, then as the Everton game came about the “if we win this we will definitely be safe” started again . It’s worth remembering we still play Norwich as well. 
 

We lost two games while absolutely fucking knackered due to fixture crunch, some really suspect refereeing, and basically about 30 minutes of poor play. If we maintain the way we are playing we will pick up points. On the flip side people are worrying about Burnley, who are on a three game losing streak (being absolutely fucking rumbled in all three) and play Man City next, and a Watford side that need 3 wins out of 9 just to draw level with us. They both need to increase their PPG by about 0.25 over their remaining games just to draw level. 
 

Outside the games against the other relegation scrappers Watford play Liverpool(a), Manchester City(h), Palace(a), Leicester(h), Chelsea(a). Burnley have a similarly tough run outside the relegation candidates, especially considering they got humbled by Brentford. I think if you apply their current PPG to their remaining games they both hit about 30 points, so if they maintain and our PPG drops to 0 they still won’t catch us. Obviously it can happen but if the positions were reversed no one would be say thinking we could catch them. 

Edited March 18, 2022 by Howay

[Gemmill 44894]

 

It's spreadsheet time, bitch. 

 

I made a slight change for this one - the "Current Mgr PPG" column now looks at a) what the club has achieved season to date, and b) what the club has achieved under its current manager, and it takes the GREATER of those two figures into the "Current Mgr PPG" column.  What that means is that even if the current manager is doing worse than the club has done season to date (I'm looking at you Frank Lampard), I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt that they'll get better. 

 

Key points to note: 

 

• Us, Brentford, Leeds, and Everton all require fewer points per game to get to 36 than last time the spreadsheet was updated. That's obviously because each of these teams has won a game since then - even though we've lost the last two, our win at Southampton means our points required per game is still down. 
• Watford, Burnley and Norwich all have a mountain to climb, and it's a mountain that is getting steeper with each passing game. They all need more points per game on this version of the spreadsheet than they did last time. Oh dear. 

I decided to do some additional bits and pieces to try and put to bed the idea that we are about to get relegated.  So I looked at two scenarios for each team: 

 

Scenario 1: In the team's remaining games, they pick up points in line with their season to date performance. 

 

Scenario 2: In the team's remaining games, they pick up points in line with their current manager's performance. 

 

I worked out what points total this would result in, and then ranked these points totals, 1 to 7, to see what order the current bottom 7 would finish in. 

 

The results are as follows: 

 

 

So, as you can see, whether we achieve our season to date PPG (1.07), or Eddie Howe's actual PPG (1.44), over the remaining 9 games, we STILL finish the season as the top team out of the current bottom 7. 

 

The other thing worth noting is that, per this analysis, the current bottom 3 is fucked. 

 

But I knew that even this wouldn't be enough for those absolutely committed to their insistence that we might still go down.  The bedwetters' bedwetters.  So I did one final scenario....

 

When Steve Bruce finally fucked off and left us all alone, our season to date performance (at the end of the Spurs home 2-3 defeat) was Played 8, Points 3.  So I decided to produce a scenario where

 

i) Eddie Howe  morphs into Steve Bruce for the final 9 games of the season and picks up points at the same rate that Bruce managed for the first 8 games, and 

 

ii) I give the other 6 teams the better of their two points totals from the season to date/current manager PPG scenarios.  

 

So I'm basically lobotomising Howe, sticking a big pair of fake tits on him, and giving all of his rivals their best case scenario set of results from the earlier analysis. 

 

And this is what happens: 

 

 

We pick up 3 more points between now and the end of the season, finishing on 34 points.  An absolute wheels-off fucking catastrophe of an end to the season. And yet we STILL finish in 4th out of the current bottom 7, a full 4 points clear of the relegated Watford, Burnley and Norwich. 

 

So that's it.  We're not going down.  So can we stop pretending that we might be, please. 

[spongebob toonpants 3997]

So you are basically saying  Spurs is a must win

[Gemmill 44894]

Bollocks, I should have waited til after Leeds play tonight.