Toonraider 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 >A young man wanted to buy a gift for his girlfriend's birthday. They >hadn't been going out very long so he thought long and hard before >remembering that on their last couple of dates she had complained >her >hands were cold. So he decided a pair of gloves might be >appropriate, >not too personal but, nonetheless, thoughtful. > >Accompanied by his girlfriend's sister, they went to Harrods and he >bought a stylish pair of cream coloured leather gloves. At the same >time, the sister bought a pair of knickers and they both asked for >their >purchases to be gift wrapped. Unfortunately, the shop assistant >mixed >the items up and the guy left with the gift wrapped knickers and the >girlfriend's sister left with the gloves. > >The boyfriend, without checking his package, decided to deliver his >present in person, but when he arrived at his girlfriend's house she >wasn't in. >So instead he posted the present through her front door accompanied >by >the following note:- > >Happy Birthday Darling, > >I hope you like these. I chose them because I noticed you're not in >the >habit of wearing any when we go out in the evenings. Had it not been >for >your sister, I'd have chosen long ones with white buttons, but she >wears >short ones & they're easier to pull off. > >I was worried because they're a delicate shade but the shop >assistant >showed me the pair she's worn for the past 3 weeks & they're hardly >soiled at all. I had her try on yours & 'though a little tight, they >looked really smart. > >She said that the material helps keep her ring clean & shiny & in >fact >she hasn't had to wash it since wearing them. I wish you'd been >there so >I could've put them on for you myself as no doubt many hands will >come >in contact with them before I see you again. Just think how many >times >I'll hold them in my hand over the coming year. > >When you take them off, remember to blow into them as they will be a >little damp from wearing. I hope you'll wear them for me on Friday >night. > >All my love, > >Dave > >P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur >showing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 Another... WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = You're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = You better not 8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron! 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever Think about? MEN'S ENGLISH: 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you. 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you. 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you. 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 Yes i know its silly but..... SAFE SEX God i hate mondays Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toontoasey 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 i love mandays as its one of my days off from work, must be the only bloke who likes em lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueStar 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 i love mandays 101259[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toontoasey 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 i love mandays 101259[/snapback] 101261[/snapback] whoops......... ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 i love mandays 101259[/snapback] 101261[/snapback] I love mandays too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toontoasey 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 i love mandays 101259[/snapback] 101261[/snapback] I love mandays too 101265[/snapback] oh aye, do tell???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 i love mandays 101259[/snapback] 101261[/snapback] I love mandays too 101265[/snapback] oh aye, do tell???? 101267[/snapback] .....well im a normal red blooded female Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toontoasey 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 i love mandays 101259[/snapback] 101261[/snapback] I love mandays too 101265[/snapback] oh aye, do tell???? 101267[/snapback] .....well im a normal red blooded female 101269[/snapback] shy anarl i see.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toonraider 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Author Share Posted February 27, 2006 i love mandays 101259[/snapback] 101261[/snapback] I love mandays too 101265[/snapback] oh aye, do tell???? 101267[/snapback] .....well im a normal red blooded female 101269[/snapback] shy anarl i see.... 101272[/snapback] i am actually! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toontoasey 0 Posted February 27, 2006 Share Posted February 27, 2006 me too, very shy, as you can see by me avatar lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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