thebrokendoll 9218 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 just got back from a bit of a whirlwind wild camping tour of mostly the west side of the uk, here's a report.... lake vyrnwy on the south east edge of the snowdonia national park, stunningly beautiful, welsh midges weren't so plentiful possibly because an almighty storm might have had an adverse effect on their numbers..... mildly irritating but tolerable. troutbeck in the lake district. on the edge of forestry commission plantation with a lot of streams and reed beds. colossal thunder storm on the monday night might've electrocuted some of the little fuckers as like in wales their numbers were limited..... cumbrian midges were liveable with. powfoot, dumfries and galloway on the solway firth..... bizarre, no sign whatsoever of the fabled scotttish midge. argyll and bute. craignish point near ardfern overlooking the isles of scarba and jura. 3 days of unbroken sunshine in quite possibly one of the most stunning, mystical places on the planet. every evening we'd walk down to the end of the disused aird jetty to watch the sunset behind scarba, every time we'd be attacked by swarms of the evil little bastards..... merciless, horrible little cunts. glencoe. day time walk up the pap of glencoe, stunning scenery with little to no midge activity, early evening pints of cider fermented in whisky barrels in the superb clashaig inn, still surprisingly little midge activity. moved on to our only campsite of the holiday, the superbly situated red squirrel, every fucking midge in the western highlands descended on it at 8.45pm.... utter, utter bastards, not even a bonfire like campfire deterred them. went to bed at 10pm, completely defeated. somewhere in the kielder forest, can't remember where, don't want to know, never going back. stopped at jedburgh for some provisions and then found a lovely little secluded car park come picnic area for the night..... hell on earth, these were more like some kind of demonic spawn of hornets and horse flies. quite comfortably the most evil little bastards ever to take wing. the wife was supposed to be doing the kielder forest marathon in a month or so, pleased it's been cancelled! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21923 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 sounds great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30610 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 I misread the title as 'The UK's hardest midget'. Now that's a TV show on Channel 5 I'd watch. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42444 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 6 minutes ago, ewerk said: I misread the title as 'The UK's hardest midget'. Now that's a TV show on Channel 5 I'd watch. Wacky jnr- legend 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 3259 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 37 minutes ago, thebrokendoll said: just got back from a bit of a whirlwind wild camping tour of mostly the west side of the uk, here's a report.... lake vyrnwy on the south east edge of the snowdonia national park, stunningly beautiful, welsh midges weren't so plentiful possibly because an almighty storm might have had an adverse effect on their numbers..... mildly irritating but tolerable. troutbeck in the lake district. on the edge of forestry commission plantation with a lot of streams and reed beds. colossal thunder storm on the monday night might've electrocuted some of the little fuckers as like in wales their numbers were limited..... cumbrian midges were liveable with. powfoot, dumfries and galloway on the solway firth..... bizarre, no sign whatsoever of the fabled scotttish midge. argyll and bute. craignish point near ardfern overlooking the isles of scarba and jura. 3 days of unbroken sunshine in quite possibly one of the most stunning, mystical places on the planet. every evening we'd walk down to the end of the disused aird jetty to watch the sunset behind scarba, every time we'd be attacked by swarms of the evil little bastards..... merciless, horrible little cunts. glencoe. day time walk up the pap of glencoe, stunning scenery with little to no midge activity, early evening pints of cider fermented in whisky barrels in the superb clashaig inn, still surprisingly little midge activity. moved on to our only campsite of the holiday, the superbly situated red squirrel, every fucking midge in the western highlands descended on it at 8.45pm.... utter, utter bastards, not even a bonfire like campfire deterred them. went to bed at 10pm, completely defeated. somewhere in the kielder forest, can't remember where, don't want to know, never going back. stopped at jedburgh for some provisions and then found a lovely little secluded car park come picnic area for the night..... hell on earth, these were more like some kind of demonic spawn of hornets and horse flies. quite comfortably the most evil little bastards ever to take wing. the wife was supposed to be doing the kielder forest marathon in a month or so, pleased it's been cancelled! ...so apart from that, did you have a nice time ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebrokendoll 9218 Posted August 19, 2020 Author Share Posted August 19, 2020 7 minutes ago, Tdansmith said: ...so apart from that, did you have a nice time ? aye ta. just beware of northumberian insects armed with either cattle prods or stanley knives! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tdansmith 3259 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21923 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 i don't think you get midges much further south than the north east. i'm just back from a tour of england and wales and only saw them in the northumberland Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebrokendoll 9218 Posted August 19, 2020 Author Share Posted August 19, 2020 no mate, that's simply not true. they live in the brecon beacons. I've had many an otherwise tranquil summers evening by the idyllic talybont reservoir marred by the little monsters. not only that, there's now about 30 of the most evil northumbrian ones living in cheltenham, stowaways in the back of the van. this despite me putting a sign on the doorway saying 'no unauthorised midges beyond this point' cunts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 15526 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21923 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 1 hour ago, thebrokendoll said: no mate, that's simply not true. they live in the brecon beacons. I've had many an otherwise tranquil summers evening by the idyllic talybont reservoir marred by the little monsters. not only that, there's now about 30 of the most evil northumbrian ones living in cheltenham, stowaways in the back of the van. this despite me putting a sign on the doorway saying 'no unauthorised midges beyond this point' cunts. i stand corrected. i guess it depends on weather and the time of day - i was just in brecon and mid wales and didn't see any, but they were a nightmare as the sun was coming down one day when i was up around weardale. got eaten alive by the little bastards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Gloom 21923 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 36 minutes ago, Meenzer said: fuck that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42444 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 9 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: fuck that Good luck trying, you filthy animal. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebrokendoll 9218 Posted August 19, 2020 Author Share Posted August 19, 2020 5 minutes ago, Dr Gloom said: i stand corrected. i guess it depends on weather and the time of day - i was just in brecon and mid wales and didn't see any, but they were a nightmare as the sun was coming down one day when i was up around weardale. got eaten alive by the little bastards as a slight aside to midges and concerning talybont reservoir in the brecons.... once arrived in our favourite spot by driving down the single track road which goes down the dam and on to the taff trail to notice it was alive with migrating toads, fucking hundreds and hundreds of the bloody things, some of them in mid copulation. tragically i counted at least 50 the next morning which had become victim to the wheels of a 3.5t lwb sprinter. i think this may well be why i'm being continiously subjected to biblical like plagues of vengeful wildlife. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 17261 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 @thebrokendoll Kielder midges finished the current Mrs PL’s love affair with camper vans...this after going round both islands of NZ & the entire east coast of Oz in one...she’s sat here and I told her about this post and asked her to guess where the worst midges were, she said Kielder before I finished the question and has asked for me to point out that Kielder midges have finished her with camping full stop 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 21625 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 It's supposed to have been the worst year for midges for 30 years. My wife is covered in bites, they don't bite me or the kids at all though. Never had a problem with them here or the lakes until this year. Off to the west coast of Scotland at the weekend, quite fearful of the midges, clegs and bastard wasps. We're staying in hotels at least thankfully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 21625 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 Oh, and love the places you went to broken, the Clachaig is a favourite. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 30610 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 2 hours ago, Meenzer said: I hope he brought an empty pot noodle pot. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42444 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 42 minutes ago, Renton said: It's supposed to have been the worst year for midges for 30 years. My wife is covered in bites, they don't bite me or the kids at all though. Never had a problem with them here or the lakes until this year. Off to the west coast of Scotland at the weekend, quite fearful of the midges, clegs and bastard wasps. We're staying in hotels at least thankfully. Friend of mine bought a campsite in NW Scotland in the last days of the Before Times- she’s just opened and posted this pic of her going to clean the shower block in her anti COVID/fucking midge gear. Kielder midges are the worst mind, the fuckers are sentient- they worked out how to open a set of double, offset “midge-proof” doors when I worked at the Calvert Trust. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 21625 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 Fucking hell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OTF 7295 Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 Thought it said minges. 0/10 would not read again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayvin 5223 Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 The UK's hardest minges Not sure how appealing that sounds tbh. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carl 175 Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 Whatever is been discussed here Citronella candles will get rid of the hardest, Midges, Midgets and Minges. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkeys Fist 42444 Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 I find the idea of a herd of midgets running in terror from lemon scented candles quite amusing. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebrokendoll 9218 Posted August 21, 2020 Author Share Posted August 21, 2020 On 8/19/2020 at 19:31, PaddockLad said: @thebrokendoll Kielder midges finished the current Mrs PL’s love affair with camper vans...this after going round both islands of NZ & the entire east coast of Oz in one...she’s sat here and I told her about this post and asked her to guess where the worst midges were, she said Kielder before I finished the question and has asked for me to point out that Kielder midges have finished her with camping full stop i feel her pain mate, i really do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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