Coronavirus

[Alex 35000]

I don’t know why you’re even going a Xmas do you don’t want to attend at a place where you’re working your notice. Just don’t bother turning up 

[Gemmill 44626]

Nah, a range. There's no one super young there. There's some fucking WEAPONS that I can't stand though.

 

I just cannot wait to be walking out of it.

[Gemmill 44626]

1 minute ago, Alex said:

I don’t know why you’re even going a Xmas do you don’t want to attend at a place where you’re working your notice. Just don’t bother turning up 

 

I know. Ugh you've planted a seed now. I'm running through my excuse rolodex.

 

The GREAT CHRISTMAS CRY-OFF might be happening here!

 

[Alex 35000]

You won’t regret it  

I’ve not been on one since 2019. Closest I’ve come is some Xmas drinks with a handful of ex-colleagues 

[RobinRobin 11221]

3 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

 

I know. Ugh you've planted a seed now. I'm running through my excuse rolodex.

 

The GREAT CHRISTMAS CRY-OFF might be happening here!

 

Just start coughing a lot this morning and complain about feeling feverish. 😷 

Make it their decision. Win-win 🙂 

[wykikitoon 20032]

I was invited out to one do last year and when I said no i was asked why. Convo went something like;

'You coming out for x?'
'Nah mate'

'Oh why?'
'I hardly spoke to him when he worked at the place, why would I when he comes back to Leeds?'

'Because xyz are out too'

'Well I saw them the other week'

'Miserable cunt'

 

So because an ex colleague who was alright was coming back to leeds for the weekend a few who got on with him really well were off out.  I never worked with him that close, nor socialised out of work with him.  So why would I use my time up to do it after 15 years of not seeing him?  

[Dazzler 9617]

I stopped going to Christmas parties a long time ago. They are almost always shit, and I already spend enough time with the people I work with without having to give up personal time too. I used to get anxious about coming up with a valid excuse, especially when I worked for a large, German blue chip, who'd make out like the Christmas do was compulsory, as were their various 'away days'. Nowadays, I just say I can't be fucked and would rather sit on the settee with the bairns and watch a film than spend another minute with people from work.

 

Plus, drunk colleagues always want to complain about their pay, and drunk me is more inclined to tell them they'd probably get paid more if they stopped being a cunt. In jest of course, but I think I need to work on my delivery - I thought it was just the yanks who didn't understand dry humour. It's not.

 

Also, I learned early on that the "what goes on at the party, stays at the party" mantra of work functions is bollocks. I've been dragged in for a bollocking on a Monday for having nothing more than a good time.

 

"Oh you were a bit loud on Friday night, and your language was a bit coarse at times. Some people don't like it. It might be a party and we want everyone to have a good time, but remember you're representing the business at work events." - Fuck off.

[Howmanheyman 32974]

30 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

Probably. I wish I'd cried off now, I FUCKING HATE stuff like this.

 

The best thing that will happen today will be me walking out of this thing. I'll get a genuine adrenaline rush.

 

 

 

You can just say, 'Whey, I'm away, see you later.' and simply leave or you can add the optional 'this is shite' in between 'whey' and 'I'm away' but that's just personal preference.

[Gemmill 44626]

It is done!

 

 

 

Edited December 13, 2023 by Gemmill

[RobinRobin 11221]

11 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

I was invited out to one do last year and when I said no i was asked why. Convo went something like;

'You coming out for x?'
'Nah mate'

'Oh why?'
'I hardly spoke to him when he worked at the place, why would I when he comes back to Leeds?'

'Because xyz are out too'

'Well I saw them the other week'

'Miserable cunt'

 

So because an ex colleague who was alright was coming back to leeds for the weekend a few who got on with him really well were off out.  I never worked with him that close, nor socialised out of work with him.  So why would I use my time up to do it after 15 years of not seeing him?  

🙂 

[Gemmill 44626]

Thanks Alex for the pep talk. It's just what I needed.

 

Ah, the relief. I might cry here.

[Dazzler 9617]

"shan do, this like" is a personal favourite. My dad says it at every family do, then proceeds to stand up, drain what remains of his pint, and walk out.

[wykikitoon 20032]

8 minutes ago, Dazzler said:

I stopped going to Christmas parties a long time ago. They are almost always shit, and I already spend enough time with the people I work with without having to give up personal time too. I used to get anxious about coming up with a valid excuse, especially when I worked for a large, German blue chip, who'd make out like the Christmas do was compulsory, as were their various 'away days'. Nowadays, I just say I can't be fucked and would rather sit on the settee with the bairns and watch a film than spend another minute with people from work.

 

Plus, drunk colleagues always want to complain about their pay, and drunk me is more inclined to tell them they'd probably get paid more if they stopped being a cunt. In jest of course, but I think I need to work on my delivery - I thought it was just the yanks who didn't understand dry humour. It's not.

 

Also, I learned early on that the "what goes on at the party, stays at the party" mantra of work functions is bollocks. I've been dragged in for a bollocking on a Monday for having nothing more than a good time.

 

"Oh you were a bit loud on Friday night, and your language was a bit coarse at times. Some people don't like it. It might be a party and we want everyone to have a good time, but remember you're representing the business at work events." - Fuck off.

 

I worked at a company that did away days.  I never went and got asked one year why.  I told them straight that I wanted to spend time with my family and friends and I saw my colleagues a hell of a lot more so why would I want a full weekend away with them doing shit I didn't like?

[wykikitoon 20032]

2 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

Thanks Alex for the pep talk. It's just what I needed.

 

Ah, the relief. I might cry here.

What have you said?

 

TT is here for you.

[Dr Gloom 21879]

i'm fucking hanging today after mine last night. i was busting all my best moves on the dancefloor, showing the kids how it's done. 

 

i also managed to swerve debbie from accounts 

 

 

[Dr Gloom 21879]

4 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

Thanks Alex for the pep talk. It's just what I needed.

 

Ah, the relief. I might cry here.

 

gemmil's colleagues 

 

[wykikitoon 20032]

BTW

What sort of cunt gaffer sets their Crimbo do on a school night?  

[Gemmill 44626]

4 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:

What have you said?

 

TT is here for you.

 

Told them I've had a 24 hour erection and it's showing no signs of abating, so I think I need to go to A&E.

[Dazzler 9617]

1 minute ago, wykikitoon said:

 

I worked at a company that did away days.  I never went and got asked one year why.  I told them straight that I wanted to spend time with my family and friends and I saw my colleagues a hell of a lot more so why would I want a full weekend away with them doing shit I didn't like?

 

They used to book an entire hotel out for the staff in Durham. and every year I'd get asked if I needed a room - I'd say no, I'm not going. After the first two they stopped asking .

 

It was always the same shit - the full day sitting through presentations from the heads of departments, some bollocksy award thing, go to the hotel room for a shit, shower and shave and then downstairs for food and a disco.

 

I went to the day bit once, and since it was practically all financial performance shit (a lot of the slides I'd fucking prepared myself) I said why do I need to sit through this shit again, when I already know it. When my manager couldn't give me a good enough reason for my attendance at the day function, I refused to go and used to have practically two days in the office on my own, with a handful of people who'd been off on site so didn't go.

 

"Oh you missed a good night, last night."

 

No. No, I did not. I missed shit food, with shit music and a shit crowd of people with shit craic. I also missed finding out which colleagues were hanging out of other colleagues behind their respective partners backs. I'm fine with that

 

 

[Gemmill 44626]

5 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

 

Told them I've had a 24 hour erection and it's showing no signs of abating, so I think I need to go to A&E.

 

A&E have referred me immediately to a timber merchant.

[wykikitoon 20032]

13 minutes ago, Gemmill said:

 

Told them I've had a 24 hour erection and it's showing no signs of abating, so I think I need to go to A&E.

Pic or GTFO

[wykikitoon 20032]

Dipper at work has just been told his Mrs has fucked him off and he's fuming

 

My retort of 'You wasn't bothered on Friday when you were steaming into that bird' didn't go down too well  

[Monkeys Fist 42264]

Have you ever considered working for the Diplomacy Service? 

[Dazzler 9617]

Always the ones who rifle owt that moves that get the most upset when they get pied off by their long suffering spouses

[wykikitoon 20032]

8 minutes ago, Monkeys Fist said:

Have you ever considered working for the Diplomacy Service? 

He's always on the hunt for birds.  Always commenting on birds walking around town.  yet he constantly moans when we go for a beer after work that she's insecure and always checking how long he's going to be.

Geeeeeeeee I wonder fucking why.